17/7 - Epi 299 ... Insecurity

Tuesday 17th July

On first watch, the episode left me wondering ... who is the most insecure right now ... and who has the most reason to be ...

Arnav ... secure in his love for Di, also secure in her love for him. Insecure about Khushi's love for him, and whether he can hold her back. She's shown him very clearly that she doesn't care for his name or money, and that the only hold he seems to have at the moment over her, is Payash. Easy solution for him - bring Payash together and show her he's serious about his love. But he's not sure yet if she will stay on even for love, because of the Di factor. He's told her he loves her, she hasn't told him yet that she loves him. Does she care enough to stay on for the Rajkumar hidden inside the Shaitan?
Does he have reason to be insecure about Khushi's feelings for him?

Anjali ... insecure on all counts. Husband has left under a cloud, and brother is busy with his wife. She fails to see that he cuts his phone call as soon as he sees her, and that he's as concerned about her as he always was. Like yesterday, when she failed to see that Khushi didn't have a big celebration only because of her, and she wasn't meant to see the private one. Anjali seeing what she wants to see, and being blind to the rest.Also, Anjali is becoming dangerously self-obsessed, and foe her it's all or nothing ... Arnav said she was his entire world, and so she should be that ... nothing and no one else is allowed to intrude. But someone is.
Rest of the family seems to feel it's best to leave her alone to wallow in her misery and get over it as best as she can slowly.
Has she reason to be so insecure?

Khushi ... she went through a hellish forced marriage and four months after that with a distrustful husband and a leching BIL. Finally things seemed to be looking bright ... her Arnav told her he loved her, and he trusted her word over Shyam's ... a big deal, considering all her problems were because he trusted Shyam's word over hers earlier. So everything should be fine now ...
And as soon as she thinks so, as soon as she starts to believe in his love and trust, he tells her she has to stay for another two months because of the contract.
He says he wants her to stay for two months.
She reads it as she has to leave after the two months are over ...
As she told him, she never knows what he really means, because he always says something different.
Has she reason to be insecure? To be scared to trust in the gestures he's making, and what they really mean?

*edited*

Don't know how I missed this on first watch ... maybe because they didn't linger on Khushi's last expression when Arnav leaves her. A lot of questions answered for me by that look ...

Khushi goes to sleep, still upset, Arnav comes at 5 minutes to 12 and gathers the courage to give her what she wanted ... a single red rose placed tenderly on her pillow ... a lingering kiss on her forhead - a promise to protect, to cherish, to hold close ...
And then the words she wanted ...a heartfelt, almost broken 'Happy Birthday, Khushi' ... and a wish for her happiness ... which he's not sure includes himself ... his own inadequacies in giving her what she wants ...
'kyun khamoshi hai zubaan meri ... ashkon se keh paaun na ...'
Why are his words locked inside him ... why can he never give her the spoken reassurance that she needs? Is it because of his own insecurities? His mother left him, he always worries his sister will leave him ... and now is he scared to say the words to Khushi because he's scared she will leave him too? He's given her so much pain, so much hurt ... and never any happiness ... he knows now so well, that his money, his name which mean everything to all other girls, mean nothing to her ... she doesn't love him for those ... but does she love him enough for himself? She loves the Rajkumar, but does she love the Shaitaan as much? Does she love the Rajkumar enough to put up with the Shaitaan?

And Khushi hears his words, sees the flower ... all that she wanted ... and sees his torment and pain too. He knows he hurt her, and for the first time, he can feel her hurt ... that's why he's doing all he can to woo her, to not hurt her again, to do things the way she wants ...
And she knows it, she knows he loves her ... but she can't let him into her heart again ...

For one of two reasons ... which one, will probably be cleared in the next couple of episodes ...
She's scared of getting hurt again ... because this is a cycle that repeats again and again ... he softens, she melts, and he snaps back and hurts her ... and the last hurt was the worst of all, that even after everything they went through together, he can still bring the contract marriage up, can still threaten her with it, can remind her that this is not permanent yet, she doesn't yet belong here ... she knows he's sorry for saying it, that he didn't mean it, but that too is a fact, as much a fact that she is responsible for his Di's condition. Words said in anger usually have a ring of truth ...
And that's the second reason ... that she truly feels she is responsible for his Di's pain, and for the distance between the brother and sister. Di needs him now, Khushi saw Di's pleasure with the flowers Arnav brought for her, saw the smile on Di's face for the first time after the showdown ... Di needs Arnav more than ever, and Di doesn't need or want Khushi around. And if Arnav gets sufficiently angry with Khushi, he will throw her out sooner or later ... he always does. He did it just a day ago, but he recovered quickly enough to stop her from leaving ... now she will make sure he sends her out himself, as soon as the contract is over, so that he can't bring her back ...

NK-Arnav scene was cute ... funny and entertaining ... NK's impatience to hear how the romantic evening went, his 'masoom akela' cake :)) ... NK's disgust that Arnav wished Khushi when she was sleeping ... How the ... What the ... zero, anda ... Arnav has no clue how to handle girls, but NK has the chaarpai ... gehri saas lo, kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi :))
And NK's suggestions ... meetha, meetha ... sweet-talk, wine and chocolates ... the works ... Arnav is disgusted ... but turns out, he's going to try exactly that :)) Well, some of it, he's far far away from the 'Baby, sweetheart ... muah!' part ;)

So a sheepish, very boyishly bashful Arnav (no trace of ASR) asks Nani to make his favourite alu-poori for breakfast, because he knows Khushi loves it too ... a dip into his past for the first time, a past that he's blocked out for ages, because of all the painful memories associated with it, but now he ventures into it to dig out a pleasant memory for the first time ...
(Actually, the second time ... the first was during Janamashtami last year when he saw Khushi putting Baby Krishna into a cucumber, and Anjali reminded him he used to do the same ...)

And Anjali is happy to see the alu-poori also ... also a happy memory for her ... till she gets a phone call for her next gynae appointment and goes into her blues again ... and remembers all the good times with Creepwa Hubby, when they were looking forward to their baby ...
Unfortunately, the sight of Anjali clutching her absolutely flat tummy always robs such scenes of any pathos or feeling at all for me ... if Akshara, the lead of YRKKH could walk around for nine months with a tummy, why can't Anjali?

Breakfast is a family affair, except for Anjali who's served in her room ... why does no one in the family insist she join them at the table? Give her the feeling of being in the heart of her loving supportive family, rather than being cooped up in her room all the time! No wonder Anjali is going cuckoo!!!

But Arnav is waiting only for his roothi hui biwi ... she refuses to take the seat he pulls out for her, and sits opposite him instead ... darn, he lost his chance to hold her hand under the table ... and got NK instead! A very chirpy, irritatingly helpful NK, who's most interested in the progress of Arnav's love story ... :)) and reminds Khushi she's one year older ...
Akash didn't wish Khushi at all? :(
Nani knows Khushi loves puri aloo ... and she's made them specially for everyone :)
Mami gets in one saas bahu taunt, countered by Nani ... good for you, Nani!!!
Nani tells Khushi this is also Arnav favorite food ...
Arnav tries a spot of hand holding across the table ... epic fail! Aww ... poor guy! :">
And Nk scolds Arnav that he failed again ... getting his own favorite food cooked for Khushi is not the brightest idea! Arnav informs him angrily that he does know his biwi more than that ... this is her favorite food as well! He got it made for Khushi ...

Whoops, he didn't mean to say that so loud ... he just wanted to see her smile and enjoy it ... But now she knows, and what he's afraid of, happens ... Khushi makes an excuse and leaves ... giving Arnav a quick backward glance to let him know she's not happy at all ... this effort of his didn't work either.
NK a little worried ... this is getting serious ... Arnav thanks Nani and leaves too ... the boy is learning some manners!

And Arnav is getting worried ... he thought winning Khushi back would be easy, but she's proving to be a tough nut this time ... cake, birthday surprise, her favorite alu-poori, nothing has worked ... She is really badly hurt, and he even more badly wants her back ... he has to find something that she will really like ... to bring back that smile on her face, to bring back that old Khushi, the one from GH, the smiling, laughing always happy Khushi ...
Here in RM, she's dabi hui, bujhi hui ... serious, unsmiling, the spark of her bright infectious spirit extinguished completely, and he's desperate to get it back ...to get his Khushi back ...

Next attempt ... she wanted his gift to be personal, something he chose himself, and the card had be better be right this time too ... to his dear wife, KKGSR ... so that there's no mistaking who the gift is from this time ... the color, the crystals ... all the details spelled out ...
And as Arnav gets busy on the phone doing the needful ... Anjali decides to ask Arnav to accompany her to the doctor's ...
*head desk* ... her brother???!!! For a gynae appointment???!!! With a grandmother and an aunt in the hosue, even one bhabhi who Anjali is on talking terms with so far ... and she wants her brother to come with her?! Anjali is dangerously obsessed with her Chotey and his place in her life ... and her place in his!
Arnav does do everything he can ... everything any normal brother would do for a sister, he cuts his call, checks with her worriedly if she's all right, if she needs anything ... but Anjali is full into Nirupa Roy martyr mode now ... jao, Chotey, khushi raho, meri chinta mat karo, main akeli hi theek hun ... nahin Chotey, ... tum humse bahut door chale gaye ho ... 
The biggest mistake Arnav made was to tell Di she was his world ... she's taken it a bit too literally! And now, in her depressed disturbed and highly insecure state, she needs to cling on to him even more, and know that there is one person for whom she comes first. Unfortunately, Arnav is no longer able to give her that reassurance. His world currently revolves around another person completely, the person who is responsible for all Anjali's troubles, the person who caused Anjali's husband to be thrown out, and now is usurping Anjali's position in her brother's life.
Somebody does need to explain to Anjali the truth in the old adage ...
a son (or in this case, a brother) is a son till he gets himself a wife,
while a daughter is a daughter all through her life ... 

Some small saas bahu stuff wit PAM and hanky ... and Khushi sees her sister unhappy and troubled again ... now how is this going to play into the ArHi equation? Will she hold Arnav responsible for it, or will he earn her gratitude by sorting Payash out properly once and for all?

But it serves to set up an important scene ... the entire family, including eternal KMH Anjali, are out for a satsang for the evening ... and Khushi refuses to go ... because of Anjali.
So Khushi is slowly withdrawing herself from the family ... she tried once to help with Anjali and it backfired so badly, she's still crying inside with the pain ... Anjali almost hurt herself and her baby because of her ... never again ...  
Liked the small comforting touch of Payal on her shoulder, the realisation on Nani's face of the pain this girl is going through ... sacrificing the things she likes, the things she cares for deeply, for Anjali's sake ... forced to steal away out of sight like a thief in her own house ... how can Khushi be happy with this state of affairs?

And Arnav waits impatiently ... his biggest worry is that he might need NK's help again :))
But it appears his next plan will flop too ... Khushi refuses to see his gift ... a pair of kids, he refuses to give it to her himself, and she refuses to take it herself ... until he finally loses his temper and almost forces it down her throat ... 'ab dikh raha hai?!'

Sigh, Arnav, you have SO much to learn about How To Woo back a RHB
(Roothi Hui Biwi = nothing in English sounds quite as apt ;) )

Tomorrow is the 300th episode.
Just as a reminder - the 100th episode was the hospital hug
the 200th episode was the DM temple and Arnav carrying Khushi out from there

But the mantra is ... no spoilers, no SBS/SBB, and no expectations :))