13/7 - Epi 296: RTR - Lesson 1 - When in Doubt, Shut Your Mouth

Friday the 13th ... lucky or unlucky? :)

Today I think for the first time, I felt for Arnav even more than for Khushi ... poor guy is really caught between a rock and a very hard place. Just hope he learns that first lesson and learns it well, because shooting off his mouth before he thinks has been one of his biggest failings with Khushi since Day 1.

Begging her to stay - good idea.
Saying sorry - even better.
Bringing up contract marriage, even in desperation - not so good.

Loved them both in that scene ... the way Arnav was shell shocked at Khushi's leaving, even more so at her calmness ... his fiery Khushi he can fight and browbeat, but this calm, quiet defeated girl defeats him completely .. he could never, ever bear to see her defeated ... and today is no exception. And he has no answer to her question - will you be happy if Di is unhappy?
But he still can't let her go ... so threaten her with the contract ... the guy is desperate.
And I am very glad that Bitwa is slowly realising the importance of Khushi in his life ... even the knowledge that Anjali is unhappy with her around, doesn't stop him from wanting her to stay ...

Payal should have answered Akash back - your mother doesn't want me to be with your sister, there's nothing much I can do about it, can I? But again, I like the Payash track ... they are having real problems now ...

Khushi watching Anjali struggling in the kitchen and aching to help brought a lump to my throat again ... glad that Payal was there to share her sadness. And glad that the cv's are reviving this sister bond :)

Stars scene ... again brought a lump to my throat ... Arnav for the first time feeling Khushi's pain, and feeling like a heel for using the contract ... but determined to win his wife back.
Bitwa, let's see how your determination stays in the face of your Di's emotional blackmail, then I will allow you some more miles. As it is, this is just the first step. You don't realise the half of the pain you've given her.

Complete satisfaction in the morning when Arnav woke up and immediately started searching frantically for Khushi, without sparing a thought for Di ...
Yes, Anjali does not like his attention to Khushi at all ... she resents Khushi bitterly ... and it's only going to get worse.
Rather than Didi ki Saut, the title should have been Biwi ki Sautan Didi ... ;)

And Nani notices Anjali's avoidance of Arnav's question about Khushi ... again felt bad for the poor guy, struggling to balance between an unbalanced Di and his upset biwi. Nani, why the heck couldn't you have sat with Anjali yesterday and fed her too, instead of traipsing off to the temple?
Because then we wouldn't have gotten a decent RTRW for Arnav ... okay, right. Kostin withdrawn :))

Khushi at GH ... so we will get a birthday celebration at GH? Without the dysfunctional RMvaasis? Yippeeee!!!
And it was so nice to see Khushi's million watt smile again, false though it was ... 
And Arnav shoots off his mouth yet again without thinking ... only to be nonplussed yet again ... it's Khushi's birthday?

*edited*
Khushi all broken up by the memory of Arnav's words ... why did he meet her? It's all her fault ...
And she remembers Arnav-Anjali's bond ... his tears at Anjali's upset, the only person he would say sorry to ... their happiness at Raksha Bandhan, a bond she has broken ... Arnav was happy if Di was happy, everything was all right with his world ... it's all her fault, if she hadn't been there, Shyam would not have done what he did ...
She only had one support in the house, only one thing giving her strength since they came back ... Arnav and his support. The rest of the house quite clearly blamed her for the mess, even Nani, who knows the truth, asked her to stay away from Anjali, because the sight of her upsets Anjali ... Arnav's support kept her strong ... but now he too seems to feel the same way ... that she is the cause of his Di's unhappiness. And Di's happiness is everything for him ... everything.
Which means that she is causing him unhappiness too, by staying ...

Put like that, it's quite simple what she needs to do. She needs to leave, then maybe everyone's lost happiness can return. She is bringing unhappiness to the entire house, including Di ... and Arnav ... and Arnav being unhappy is one thing she can't bear. What is the reason for her to stay then, when by leaving, she might be able to make him happy.
And being Khushi, to think is to act ...

Payal, bless her, wants to see Khushi ... Akash acts as the ultimate turd ... how dare Payal feel bad for Khushi, doesn't she know how much Di is suffering?
Payal dear, just tell that insensitive husband of yours that Di has the rest of the house to pamper her, Khushi has no one. Besides his own mother has forbidden her from going near Anjali, so what is she supposed to do? Stand at her doorstep?
Raizada men - another joins the Di worship club ... one membership is falling vacant shortly, we heard ;)

Yep, one membership now vacant :) ... Arnav bursts into his room to find his worst fears coming true ... Khushi is packing her clothes. And Khushi wanted to leave before he returned ... she wasn't sure she has the strength to do this once he's back, especially if he tries to stop her ... she pauses for a moment, and then quickly returns to stuffing her clothes in ...
"Khushi, what are you doing?"
Exactly what he said ... it's her fault, if she hadn't come into his life, none of this would have happened ... she returns his unthinking angry words back to him quietly ... after all, they're all true, aren't they?
What was that about making the best speech when angry that you will ever regret?

If she hadn't met him that night in Sheesh Mahal ... that's when all the problems started ...
But not time to dig so far back into the past yet ... first he needs to stop her ... 'Khushi, stop ...'
(Okay, it will come, it will come ... patience, this is a daily soap ;) )
But she's in no mood to listen ... what you said was right, if I hadn't come in, everything would have been all right, Di would have been happy, looking forward to her baby ... definitely not thinking about ending its life ... it's my fault and so I need to go ...

Regret starts in his face (BS could have been better there, it was regret but not anguish) ... and he stops her again ... an awkward apology, because he really finds it difficult to say sorry (Bitwa, start getting some practice because you're barely hit the tip of the iceberg yet) ... 'I didn't mean what I said ... I was angry, I said too much ...'

'But you did mean it ... it is true' ... firmly, no anger in her voice, just a simple acceptance ... and his tension starts building, this is going to be much more difficult than he expected ... because she's not even angry or fighting ... she's accepted defeat ... and that is what hurts him the most ... how does he argue with her when she's only repeating everything he said, and agreeing with him?
(Bitwa, you ain't felt nothing yet :)) )

And she says as much ... 'I'm not going because I'm angry ... I'm going because I can't stand to be the cause of everyone sorrow ...'
And everyone's favorite punching bag too ... that has to start hurting at some point ...
And the words which finally pierce him the most ...
'Especially yours ...' 
She loves him, she can't stand to see him hurt, see him torn between his Di and her ... and Di being Di, he can't make a choice, so she makes it for him ... and now he starts feeling her hurt, her pain, her agony ...
'And not Di's either ...' 
Because she knows Di's pain is his ... Di's happiness is his .. didn't he just admit that? And his pain is hers, his happiness is hers ... if she's there and Di is unhappy, he will always be torn in two ... he will even feel guilty for being happy if Di is unhappy ...
Can someone tie up Di in a sack and throw her into the ocean? Better still, ship her off to her  KP Shyamji ... then Di will see just how real his love and her perfect world actually were!

'So I'm going to Buaji's house ...'

He stops her by holding her wrist ... very gently for once ... 'Khushi, I'm not going to let you go ...'
'Don't stop me please ... I can't carry on hurting everyone ... just by being here ...'

He tries to apologise again ... he really isn't very good at this, is he? 'Khushi, listen to me ... whatever I said, I didn't want to ... don't do this right now ...'
Not now, when he really needs her the most ... when she's the only one giving him strength to deal with an impossible situation ... if he is her strength, she is his, in this house which is collapsing around him ...
'Main tumhare bina ...'
But this time she cuts him off quickly ... there was a time when she begged him to complete his sentence ... now she doesn't want to hear it, because it will weaken her own resolve ...
She knows he loves her ... that's not the problem any more ...
'I can't bear it either ...' it's as difficult for me to live without you ... but I have to ... 'Di is hurting because of me, just seeing me around is hurting her ...' and you know it will hurt you too, and that will hurt me more ...
In short, it's a big mess, and till Di gets a reality check, there is no hope for 'us' ...

And for the first time, Arnav separates his happiness from Di's ... =D> =D>  ... Bitwa is finally growing up :))
'Aur main?' Di might be happy, what about me?
And he gets his reality check ... 'If Di is unhappy, do you think you can be happy?'
You will continue to be torn in two ... you're the one who said Di's happiness is all-important ... every time she sees me and flinches, you will hurt ... every time she sees you happy with me, while she cries, she will hurt ... and you will feel guilty even being happy ...
Khushi is definitely very sensible ... she can see the future clearly ... and it consists of a huge nonstop guilt trip for her ... for both of them ...
Like I said, till Di gets a reality check, there is no hope for them ...

And till Arnav stops asking 'Aur main?' and starts asking 'Aur hum?' ... there are still many more miles for him to go on that RTRW ... right now, he wants Khushi to stay because he needs her ... but he still isn't thinking about what she needs ... or frankly, what Anjali needs, as opposed to what Anjali wants ...

And her question stops him in his tracks ... and he leaves her arm slowly ... starting to realise what they are up against ... they, as in both of them ...
And she knows she's won this argument ... probably the first time they have had such a long conversation without fighting? and she turns to leave again ...

But Arnav is desperate now ... he cannot bear to let Khushi go ... not at any cost ... and he's just beginning to realise that now ... finally, about time Bitwa woke up! :>
Arnav couldn't persuade her ... ASR can force her ... He has absolutely no weapons left as Arnav, but ASR is a different matter ...
'You're not going anywhere ... there's a little matter of a contract you signed ...'
Khushi is appalled ... after all they have been through together, after everything that was, that is ... 'you still call it a contract?!'

And Arnav can't face her for this one ... he turns his back ... 'call it? That's what it is ... you can't go.'
And Khushi recovers her fight ... she could always fight ASR after all ... 'Yes? What will you do? Police? Go ahead!'
"Not police ... I'll do what I had told you I would ...'
And he has to close his eyes, grit his teeth and almost force himself to go through with this one ... hurt her just to keep her close ... 'I'll separate Akash and Payal ... you know I can do it.'

And finally he can turn, because now he's telling the truth ... 'try all you like, I will never let you go ... you know me by now ...'
Bitwa, a couple of miles redeemed here ... you know that even for DI, you can never let Khushi go ...
(And I am beginning to realise the end point of Arnav's RTR is when Khushi is up on that pedestal right on top, with him alongside her - when he acknowledges to himself and to the world, that he and Khushi are one ... whoever is on their priority list can be there at whatever position, because it's a joint list anyway ... no Arnav's priority or Khushi's priority ... what's his is hers, and whats hers is his ... because their happiness is together.).

Bu for now, he has to quietly listen to his angry biwi, who's furious with her Shaitaan pati, and this one she can fight with ... 'you're back to being you, aren't you? You can never change ... when I try to forget the Shaitaan, you will always remind me, hurt me ... break my heart ...'
No, he doesn't want to break her heart ... not any more ... he's done it too many times already ... he just doesn't want her to leave ... he can't bear to let her go ...
But she's spitting fire ... so for once in his life, Arnav wisely keeps quiet ... he's got what he wants ...  her words hurt him, more than her words, her hurt hurts him ... but she's staying ... till the contract is over ...
And she slams out of the room ... leaving him brooding but relieved ... her anger doesn't matter, she's staying, he's got a reprieve ...some breathing space ...  and he's going to use that time to win her back for always. That was a very big booboo he made earlier ... he will eat humble pie if he has to ... Because one thing he has finally realised ... not even for Di's happiness, can he let his Khushi go.

Khushi upset, wanders down, sees a swaying Anjali heating milk ... (don't the rich Raizadas have a microwave? And where did all the Ps go?) ... and almost fainting ... really Anjali, I was giving dinners at nine months, and you can't heat a glass of milk without swaying dramatically ...
And Khushi wants to help, but remembers Nani's admonition to stay out of Anjali's way, and hides herself ... Mami belatedly runs to help Anjali ... Payal has braved Akash's ill-temper to venture out to comfort her sister ... because Khushi needs someone too.
Am so glad they are reviving the Payal-Khushi bond ... I always liked it and Deepali is good in scenes with Khushi. I loved the Payal-Khushi hug ... :)
Also liked that Khushi remembered her instructions for once ... if Anjali falls, let her fall!  :))

Most touching scene of the night ... Khushi stares at the stars, remembering Arnav's words ... it's a contract marriage, and you have to stay till it's over ... otherwise Payal suffers.
And Arnav watches her ... and hurts right along with her ...

 Kyun nazarein teri yun anjaan hain
Aankhen bhi meri hain nam

And he remembers another night, staring at the stars together, when he needed her faith and her strength ... and she gave it to him ... today he needs her strength again ... he needs her with him ... but he had to threaten her, hurt her to make her stay ...

Kyun paakar bhi tumko khoya hai
Hum kyun na ban paaye hum ...

And she wonders in despair ... why can they never be together ... when they were apart, they were together, ... now longing to be together, they are being torn apart ... for his happiness she has to leave him ...

Kyun dard hai itna tere ishq mein ...

And Arnav remembers the forced marriage in the temple, the contract marriage, her tears, the shattering of her dreams ... and he sees anew the hurt he has given her ...
'I'm sorry, Khushi ... forgive me ... I've given you so much pain ... but I will win you back ... I will bring you home and make you a part of my life ... this time for always ...'

Barun and Sanaya don't need dialogues ... just their expressions and the perfect background score ...
Cv's are giving us many star gazing scenes these days ... one day they'll get it right :))

Next scene I loved :) for more reasons than one :))
Arnav wakes up in the morning ... first thought is his biwi ... but she's not in bed ...
(SN - bed? next to him? Aur humein pata bhi nahin chala?! WT* ???!!!)

And Arnav panics instantly ... checks bathroom (without knocking ;) ) ... checks dining room, kitchen ... poor Arnav, the women in his life keep disappearing on him :)) I love this!!! Sadistic me!!!
And he makes another booboo ... bringing home to him how difficult this tightrope is going to be ... barges into Di's room, and ask her ... completely the wrong kostin ... 'Di, have you seen Khushi?!'

Whoops, that was a whopper ... Anjali's face freezes ... she looks away ...
Nani notices her face and glares at Arnav ... what did we say, you don't mention She Who Must Not Be Named ...
and Arnav's face goes 'oopsies! wrong number!' :))

He tries very awkwardly to retrieve a pretty unretrievable faux pas ... 'umm, did you eat your medicines?' to which Di graciously nods her head ... she will forgive him for that one ... wait a minute, what the heck, he's not waiting to grovel for that mistake he just made, he's already out the door ...

And Arnav is annoyed with himself, he shouldn't have asked Anjali that ... Nani comes out to reassure him, Anjali is all right, and Khushi has gone to Buaji's house ... Nani returns to iceberg Anjali ...
Wonder how long it will take Nani to see the reality?

And Arnav is hopping mad ... no, not about Di ... about Khushi ... how dare she go when he told her not to ... quick shower and change, and the man is off ... a man with a mission ... :)) And getting ready for Humble Pie helping number two :)

Khushi at Buaji's ... where she tells Buaji completely truthfully ... yes, I ran away and came, he won't let me come otherwise, will he? :)
As Buaji goes off to call AB, and Khushi begs pardon from DM for hiding the state of affairs at RM (which means another dhamaka in the offing;) ) Arnav appears, all red hot with temper ... I told you not to go anywhere. Don't you know what I can do ...?
Bitwa ... when in doubt, shut your mouth ... okay, you opened it ... get ready for a helping of humble pie ... :))

He starts off ... pet peeve number one ... when I talk to you, don't turn your back on me ... pull her around to face him ... and Khushi doesn't utter a word ... her eyes do all the talking ... all the reproaching ...

Oops, she was doing pooja ... get off that topic quickly, go back to first question ... he was on surer ground there ... or so he thinks ... 'why did you come here without telling me?! Answer me!'

Answer he gets ... but from the wrong quarter ... Buaji ... 'Arnav bitwa? You here? why are you yelling at Khushi? She has to come to eat my jalebi and rabri on her birthday like she does every year ...'

Nope, that was not surer ground ... that was bloody quicksand ... and he's sinking fast ... it's her birthday?! And he doesn't even know?! So much for winning her back ... he's in even deeper trouble now ...
And buaji helpfully rubs in his inadequacies even more ... 'I thought you would have brought a gift for her ...'

Now he's really in for it ... Garima tries to pull him out, but that quicksand is just too deep :) :) :)

So what will Arnav do now? Wait for the ME to find out ... with NK as his chief consultant, this should be fun. Just hope Khushi doesn't give in for some time ... I want to see some serious wooing now!