7/5 - Epi 246 ... Finally!!! The Dreaded "S" word ... edtd

Monday 7th May

Good episode ... started on a light note ... Khushi leaves the stars for Arnav as predicted ...
Says her farewells, much to the bemusement of all ...

Barun can't dance saala ... but he sure can run :">

The suicide started off as light ... and then the intensity hit ... the fb's beautifully placed ... Khushi's realization already? The love unspoken ... Sanaya was fantastic in that bit ... "aur hum ..." and their fb's ... and then bravely 'hum theek hain ...'
Her breaking down ... tell me why you married me, I know, it was because of Lavanya ...
He - I don't love Lavanya, perhaps I never did ...
She - I don't believe you, then tell me why ...
And finally he says the dreaded "S" word ...I married you because of Shyam ...

*edited*
So Khushi first makes it clear to any impressionable youngsters who might be watching, that suicide is not the right thing to do ... probably the reason they made the suicide track so light.
Then she gets busy trying to decide mode of suicide ... again worried about cost :)) and 'naak kat jayegi' if she doesn't succeed, on top of which money for hospitalization - pills cancelled. Hanging from fan also cancelled for the same reason - what if it falls, Buaji will have to pay for repairs. Finally the light strikes ... sasta and tikau method of suicide - jump off a cliff.

Sweetie, if you fail to die and merely end up breaking a few bones, then too you will incur hospitalization costs - you didn't think of that?
No she didn't. So jump off a cliff it is - since there are no convenient cliffs in the vicinity, the roof of a building will do.

BG trying to prepare pushto (I presume pasta?) ... Khushi bids them both farewell ... much to their befuddlement ... farewell to Babuji, eat your medicines ... to Arnav, look after your diabetes, and try not to get angry, and if you do, don't get angry on Lavanya, she gets scared ...

A completely befuddled "Huh?!"
Interpretation for those not well-versed in Arnav-speak ... what the heck are you talking about, why this sudden sweet talk and concern for my diabetes and health, when you've spent the last two days screaming like a banshee whenever you saw me and running away from me, where did Lavanya even come into the conversation from ... and what the *&*% is wrong with you?!!! 

She reaches out to touch him gently on the shoulder. 'Don't think too much about what happened ... I forgive you, Mr Arnav Singh Raizada.'
How he hates being told she forgives him, implying he was wrong and she was right ... he hates saying sorry to her ... except for one memorable occasion, he never has ... how can she forgive him?
"What the ...?!"
And how well she knows him and what his reaction would be ... exactly what she was waiting for ... and she knew how to get it out of him ... one last 'What the ...'

And with a small, sad smile, she leaves ... leaving him even more befuddled if possible ... he shoots a questioning look at BG ... Buaji offers her considered opinion in one succinct gesture "Insane!"
He has to agree.

Khushi trying to screw up the courage to make that final jump, and finding as many excuses as she can to postpone the moment. Kids are playing exactly where she plans to jump, she might hurt them, she needs to ump with both feet, this is not working ...

Arnav in the bedroom ... something is missing, it takes him a while to figure out what ... her stars ... He sees the Don't Touch notice on Salman Khan ... this girl is mad ...
And then he sees the note for him ... open this pouch one hour after I've gone ...
So of course he opens it immediately ... Khushi's stars?
And a letter ...
 Arnavji ... I'm leaving these for you. Thought I'd leave you all my stuff - my shoes, my gota, my chunris ... but what would you do with them? I was joking. These stars are the only things of use to you ... because like me, you've lost your parents, and whether you believe it or not, like mine, yours too have become stars ... and so have I ... third from right, the one that's twinkling the brightest ...
(SN Dia's Glowatwa Ve ... she said it all, not only about their parents but about herself too :) )

And the penny drops slowly ... as he moves ... slowly at first, then picking up speed ... out of the house ...
Amma perplexed, Buaji resigned, it was bound to happen, he's been living with Sanka Devi for so long, some of the sanak had to rub off ... =))

Barun can run saala ... :)) :">

Khushi still finding excuses ... it's too hot, maybe a little later ... and then confused as she spots someone who's definitely not supposed to be there ... what is he doing here? Addressing a panicky Arnav peremptorily, as he's trying desperately to call her (I was wondering why she took her phone with her to commit suicide - did she plan to call Devi Maiyya and inform her that she was on the way?) - 'suniye, can you move out of the way ... if I jump on you and kill you instead, it would defeat the purpose of this entire exercise ...'

And Arnav, worried to see her up on the roof ... he didn't look terrified, so I think he didn't yet realise what she was planning ... he merely seemed to think she'd got into some dangerous escapade yet again ... and he ran to the rescue ... yet again ;)
And Khushi a touch exasperated ... talk about non-cooperation, I'm doing this for him, and he's stopping me himself ... then a touch of worry, does he plan to push me and make sure the job gets done?

And Arnav reaches to rooftop just in time as Khushi prepares to launch herself into space ...
(I digress again ... Barun can run saala :"> ... what?! I like athletic guys!!! And he looked prettty darn good jumping over the rooftops!!! Lemme drool in peace!)
and yells at her frantically to stop ...

and Khushi turns around in surprise ... and annoyance ... now what?
And as usual, his first reaction is to scold ... 'what the hell are you up to? Get down right now!'
'Don't come near me, or I'll jump ...'
And he suddenly gets a little more worried ... she'd better not do something so stupid, but can't put it past her either ... 'okay, I won't come near ... but why do you suddenly want to jump?!'
'I just want to jump, that's all ... it's what you want, don't you? What you've been trying since yesterday ... the poison, the screwdriver, the noose, the knife ... I can't handle all that, I'll do what you want, but I'll do it my way ...' 
And he finally realises what she's planning to do ... what she thinks ... 

'Khushi, there's no such thing ... relax ...'
'Don't come near' ...as he tries to come closer again ... and he falls back ...
'I'm not ... breathe ...' is he telling himself or her?
'Why do I need to bother to breathe? My breath is going to stop soon anyway ...'

Exasperated look ... she's driving him insane with worry, teetering on the brink of a ledge, and she's in the mood for arguing?

'okay ...' as she sways, he panics again ...'ok, watch it, dammit!!!'
More argument ... 'what should I watch here and there? I'll just look upwards now ... and don't think I'm scared ... I'm not ...' brave smile ... which fades quickly ... 'I won't even bother you or Lavanya after I die by becoming a ghost ... she's so nice ... she so scared of you ...'
Total befuddlement now ... 'Where did Lavanya even come into this conversation from?'
'She's your rose ... and I'm the thorn ...'
He's lost completely ... 'rose? ... thorn? What are you even saying?'

And finally she says something which starts making sense ... kind of .. remotely ... 'Kundali Kamlesh said it all ... the reason you married me ... because there's some dosh in your horoscope ... so you married me for six months, then you can get rid of me,and marry La, the girl you really love ... so why should I wait for you to kill me? I can do it myself ...'
And she almost does again, teetering precariously on the edge, earning a panicky 'Careful!!!' from him ... and he finally gets what she's saying and tries to rebut ... 'Get down, because that's not true at all, what you're thinking ... you know I don't even believe in all this nonsense ... it's not true!'

'It is true! I heard you telling La on the phone, that you will get me out of the way ... and since then, you've been trying to get rid of me ...'

He denies again ... 'I never spoke to Lavanya about you ever ...'
'Don't lie to a dying person ...' Where does she even get these ones? I thought it was a dying person doesn't lie to anyone ... and she tells him she's made her peace, said her farewells, made her will ... 'oh you found the stars already ...'
He looks at the stars ... and then back at her. 'Khushi, enough nonsense, we can sit and talk this one out ...'
No, she doesn't want to talk ... he can talk with Lavanya all he likes, she'll be happy up there ...

And she teeters and sways again, he reaches out frantically, she recovers, stops him with a gesture, and looks back at the faraway ground ...

And a sudden change of mood ... as she looks back at him sadly, the enormity of the step she's about to take hitting her ... looking back at him for the last time, her heart in her eyes ... she doesn't really have any complaints, because she never felt he was hers, ever ... but just a small regret ... 'why didn't you tell me yourself what you wanted? Just once ... and I would have stepped aside, no questions asked. Why did you hide this from me? And Lavanya ... I thought she was my friend ... she also didn't tell me ... if you both love each other, then how can I come in between ...'

He can't let this go ... he can't let her believe this one ... how can she think that ... but he can't give away his real feelings either ... he looks down ... 'Khushi, I don't love Lavanya ...' and back at her, 'and I think I never did ... how can you even think that ...'
'Because that's why you married me ...'
No, that's not the reason, far from it ... 'Khushi, that is not true, I didn't want to marry Lavanya, and that's not the reason I married you ...'

She doesn't believe him. "No? Then tell me ... why did you marry me? What is the reason?'
He's silent.He can't tell her the reason, but neither can he let her believe this, because the foolish girl is actually ready to kill herself over it.

But she's nothing if not tenacious.
'See? Again you have no answer. Again you refuse to give me the reason. I know this is the reason, this is the truth ... you love her ... and I ...'
'and I ...' love you ... hovers unspoken between them ... as memories flash ...
... Teri Meri dance, when he rescued her on stage ..
... Diwali, the almost kiss, when he almost lost control, lost in her ...
... the poolside kiss, her first kiss ... the rain hug in the parking lot when he rescued her from a car ...
... Diwali, walking her out through the circle of diyas, hand in hand ...
... the first time she saw him laugh ...
... the time he returned her payal ... knelt to put it on her foot ...
... when he looked after her in Nainital when she was sick ...
... the hospital, comforting her, paying her bill ...

So many memories, so much closeness ... but he loves Lavanya, not her ... and her eyes tear up again ... but no, his happiness is what's important ...
'I'm okay ... I'm ready ...' ready to go ...

And she looks over the edge again, and then looks back for one last look, as though imprinting his face in her mind, as though she wants that to be the last thing she sees ... the last memories she wants to carry with her ... the first time they met ... the first hug in the hospital ... and their marriage - the day she became his, and yet further distanced from him than ever before ...

And she jumps ...
Just as he launches into the run of his life ...the run to save his life ...


and they ... and we ... return to consciousness to find them lying safely on the terrace (ASR must have played rugby in school, that's about the only tackle I can think of that might have got them here) ... with Khushi held tightly in Arnav's arms ... a situation which doesn't give her much pleasure by the looks of it, as she returns to a realization of where she is ... and struggles almost instantly to get free ... almost pushed aside by him,  as he too, returns to awareness of what exactly happened ... his relief finds expression in anger as always, and so does hers ...
What the hell were you doing there ... you could have gotten yourself killed ... and all for nothing, because this was not about Lavanya!
And she's angry too ... she thought she'd finally found a reason for the question that had been plaguing her for months ... but again, she's hit a brick wall ... if not this, then what?! She needs to know, she deserves to know ...she has the right to know ...

and as her angry questions hit him again and again, so do the memories ... the terrace, Shyam's hug, her damning words 'leave Anjali' ... and how he dragged her to marry him (loved the way the fb's built up here with the music, ending in a crescendo of audio and visuals) ... and the words finally spill out ...
'I married you because I know about you and Shyam ... I know you're having an affair with him ...'

And she stares at him in shock ... as he glares fiercely back ...


Thoughts:
A good ArHi confrontation, but not one of the best. I think it was because of the lead up being full of comedy ... the intensity didn't get much time to get established properly. Added to which the piecemeal shooting and the expressions were not as intense as they could have been - whether that was cause and effect, I don't know. The cv's probably made the suicide track light on purpose, but they needed the fear of Khushi's death to provoke Arnav into taking Shyam's name ... the switch from funny to serious didn't allow the complete development of emotions. Barun and Sanaya have done far better in the past. And the background music was horrendous, including the cawcaws ... urrgghhh - keeping it light-hearted almost till the end really compromised the seriousness of the whole scene ... right till the part where Khushi's expression finally changes ... and stays sad ... after that it did pick up a lot. And at the end, Sanaya's expression was a bit blank for the freeze ... not as shocked as she could have been.

But hopefully the drama element has re-started and the comedy will be put to rest now.