11/9 - Epi 339 ... The Pain of Loss

Tuesday September 11th

Tonight after watching IPKKND, I watched the first half of Behna. And I realized that the biggest flaw of the miscarriage track, and the reasons why we didn't feel any sympathy for Anjali were serious lacunae in all departments - direction, writing and acting.

The scenarios were very different of course ... Jeevika voluntarily underwent an abortion of a much longed for baby with the full cooperation and support of her husband, to be able to donate marrow for her sister. Still she mourned the loss of that baby so much, and the pain of loss was very evident in her eyes, her body language, her whole demeanor. However she had the support of her husband to help her through the whole ordeal, and that support meant everything to her. Viren hid his own pain to give her that support, and let his tears flow only in solitude. So I did sympathise with Anjali again for wanting and needing that support. Where Daljeet failed, and the writers failed in IPK was to concentrate too much, too quickly on the 'return my husband to me' track and not give more than a single scene of mourning for the baby. Although Jeevika is no great actress, she brought across her pain and her numbness very beautifully in the scene today ... so much so that where I usually switch off the tv within a minute of Behna starting, I felt compelled to watch it till the scene ended.

Daljeet and the writers - I will blame both - failed to bring in that pain of loss effectively, and that was what killed the track. And today by showing Anjali's miraculous recovery with the return of Shyam, the way she completely forgot about the lost baby and became all happy and cheerful again, and ready to carry on with the wedding festivities, again eroded whatever sympathy might have still remained.

And I wonder, is that what the writers meant to show? Gul said Anjali is damaged ... is this another facet of that damaged Anjali ... while Arnav mourns his mother with a fierce anger about the way his father betrayed her, Anjali only looks back on the good memories and seems to ignore the bad ones, or refuse to remember anything bad. She does the same thing in the present ... refuses to see evil or bad, avoids confrontations and fights, and pretends everything will be all right if only the troubles can be swept under the carpet and not faced. And she does the same again ... now that Shyam is back, her bad behaviour, her manipulation is all forgotten, she has got what she wanted, so she will be all sweet-faced and loving and complaint again. The lost baby is a bad memory so she will not think about it.
What was good to see - while Shyam has to win back the family, Anjali also has to do the same, because no one except Dadi is happy to see Shyam back. Even Mami and Akash, who were doubting Arnav's decision, now seem to be in complete agreement with it.

Arhi argument ... a very different argument this time ... the pain and hurt of betrayal in Arnav ... not over Di, but over Khushi ... how could she go against his wishes, behind his back, how could she betray his trust and get Shyam back? And I found myself in complete agreement with him today ... because Khushi didn't use the right arguments again *head desk* ... instead of telling him that VLR was already creeping around RM and meeting Di in secret, she told him how happy Di was to see Shyam back, and how miraculously recovered ... *head desk* woman, when a child cries because she wants to touch the bright sparkly fire, you don't helpfully shove her into the fire, you try to take her away and explain that it is bad for her and can hurt!!!
No wonder Arnav was furious with her ... yes, she betrayed his trust, he started so painfully to trust again, he trusted her with his deepest feelings, he thought that whoever else in the house doubted his decision, Khushi would stand by him ... she betrayed that trust. If she felt his decision was wrong, she needed to try to convince him again and again, not go behind his back and overturn his decision. I did not feel any sympathy for Khushi today.

But one must reap what one has sown ... time and again Arnav has told Khushi Di is the most important person in his life, that her happiness means the world to him, that if Di is happy, everything is fine ... he has even convinced himself of that ...
It is time for Arnav to realise that although Di is very important to him, Khushi's happiness, Khushi's welfare and Khushi herself are the most important. The feelings are there within him, but maybe for Arnav it would be a betrayal to even allow himself to feel that anyone could be more important than Di, that it is all right for him to seek his own personal happiness over Di's, let alone acknowledge it to anyone else ... But the way he remembered the mehndi and Khushi on the night of Anjali's miscarriage, the way he tonight remembered Khushi and was aching for her, the way he tried to call her, showed that Khushi has definitely overtaken Di in importance in his life.
And if Arnav doesn't acknowledge it even to himself, there is no way Khushi will ever feel that she could be the most important person for him. For her too, Di will come first always ... Di's happiness is paramount, because that is the road to Arnav's happiness. That is what she has been told too many times ... she can't see for herself that maybe that is not true any more.

I did wonder, though ... Arnav sees Khushi's betrayal, but not Anjali's? He is not disappointed at Anjali's reaction to see Shyam back? Or was he expecting it after her demand for her KP? And is putting it down to hormonal imbalance and/or mental instability?

So Arhi argue, Khushi leaves in tears ... family is not happy to see Shyam back, but they can't do anything. And Shyam is back to his smooth-talking winning ways ... if we hadn't seen him plotting and planning, I would have been convinced by his act, so smooth and humble he was today. Except for the few evil glances, of course.

Arnav-Shyam ... as I said, Khushi has overtaken Di in Arnav's life ... the moment VLR mentions Khushi's name, Arnav loses his cool ... But *head desk* Arnav ... haven't you learned anything at all??!!! Keep a cool head with VLR ... announcing to him that you plan to throw him out just as soon as Di recovers is not the best idea ... VLR will just make sure Anjali doesn't recover for a long, long time! Stop announcing your plans to the Evilwa!!!

Arnav calls Khushi, she refuses to pick up ... while I'm quite happy at the fight, this time Khushi is in the wrong ...

And Anjali earns my ire again ... madam is back to her bright colors and net sarees and clinging to KP's arm ... all izz well in Di's world, so she has to spread happiness and sunshine for everyone again.
Why is Creepwa so ready to start the wedding preparations again? Has Dimwit Dadi already confided her suspicions about Garima being a BFTP? So he is confident about stalling it later, yet emerging with spotless reputation?

Precap - Anji tells Arnav that she knows she is more important to him than life itself and Khushi knows it *head desk* ... Arnav, pleeeaaseee now at least wake up and smell the coffee ... why Khushi did what she did, because she too actually believes that! First item on agenda for Arnav - to realise that Khushi is number one priority for him, second item on agenda, to convince Khushi of that ... rest will follow later.