Wednesday 7th August
Alternately ... Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi
That was a double quick turnaround by Umaben ... one long lecture from Chhanchhan was all it took!
Also the fact of rebellion starting in the ranks could not have gone unnoticed ... looks like Manthan is next in line. Manek too is not happy with Umaben's actions. Neither is Manav.
Seems Chhanchhan (or her dialogue writer
)
was reading all our comments here ... she brought up almost every one
of them ... how Umaben had driven Mukut away from Kaumudi by insisting
on her being ideal bahu, and not leaving her time to be ideal patni ...
since Umaben had refused to accept Chhanchhan by saying that she was
fine as Manav's wife, but not as Borisagar bahu, this must have been
sweet revenge ... stuffing Umaben's words down her throat with a
vengeance! She basically told her this situation was all Umaben's fault!
And I enjoyed ... hackneyed though it was ... the way she reminded Umaben that she had once been a Borisagar bahu too ... that reminder is always useful for every saas now and again Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi That was one long lecture!!!
So Manthan, Manav and Chhanchhan manage to trace Kaumudi, of course at the inevitable last minute ... and Umaben lands up there, all reformed and ready to take her back home.
Chhanchhan did not manage to meet Mayuri, so we still have no clue what role Mayuri is going to play. Hopefully, this track has some more time to play out. Mukut is surprised that Kaumudi left, but doesn't seem to be anywhere near missing her in her absence, or appreciating her ...
Precap was the most surprising ... Umaben and Chhanchhan join forces to teach Mukut the error of his ways. Does that mean Umaben will also have to see the error of her ways? Or make a start, at least ...
Alternately ... Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi
That was a double quick turnaround by Umaben ... one long lecture from Chhanchhan was all it took!
Also the fact of rebellion starting in the ranks could not have gone unnoticed ... looks like Manthan is next in line. Manek too is not happy with Umaben's actions. Neither is Manav.
Seems Chhanchhan (or her dialogue writer
)
was reading all our comments here ... she brought up almost every one
of them ... how Umaben had driven Mukut away from Kaumudi by insisting
on her being ideal bahu, and not leaving her time to be ideal patni ...
since Umaben had refused to accept Chhanchhan by saying that she was
fine as Manav's wife, but not as Borisagar bahu, this must have been
sweet revenge ... stuffing Umaben's words down her throat with a
vengeance! She basically told her this situation was all Umaben's fault!
And I enjoyed ... hackneyed though it was ... the way she reminded Umaben that she had once been a Borisagar bahu too ... that reminder is always useful for every saas now and again
Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi That was one long lecture!!! So Manthan, Manav and Chhanchhan manage to trace Kaumudi, of course at the inevitable last minute ... and Umaben lands up there, all reformed and ready to take her back home.
Chhanchhan did not manage to meet Mayuri, so we still have no clue what role Mayuri is going to play. Hopefully, this track has some more time to play out. Mukut is surprised that Kaumudi left, but doesn't seem to be anywhere near missing her in her absence, or appreciating her ...
Precap was the most surprising ... Umaben and Chhanchhan join forces to teach Mukut the error of his ways. Does that mean Umaben will also have to see the error of her ways? Or make a start, at least ...
Dia,
ReplyDeleteI really liked today's episode. Everybody's reactions were good where they felt they were the most wronged. Loved the brothers concern for kaumudi.
A good episode, though the pace is a little surprising. Sanaya finally got some meaty dialogues. Manthan' s track is being laid well...his brothers are always favoured according to him. Manek too showed his solidarity with Kaumudi bhabhi by refusing to eat breakfast.
ReplyDeletePrecap: Temporary truce or a genuine breakthrough between CC and UB?
Looking forward to tomorrow's episode. Hoping TRPs rise.
-U
Temporary truce, I think ... Umaben is not going to give up her throne so easily. I think what hit home in Chhanchhan's lecture was that she realised what CC was saying was true ... her own sons were rebelling against her orders, and even her husband was not happy. So when CC said that her mala is breaking apart, she could see it happening herself - had already seen it at breakfast where all the men refused to eat.
ReplyDeleteI hope they also link this up with the infamous 'past' ... with the fight between the brothers Matilal and Ratilal ...
Everyone's suppressed grievances are starting to spill out ... Manthan was again very good today.
Am travelling tonight back to HK, will make the post and then leave. Keep the discussions going on the forum, girls! Will join in tomorrow or over the weekend when I can.
Hope the TRPs show a rise today ... fingers crossed!!!!!!!
It is a bad choice by channel to pit this show against Dia Aur Baati Hum. With DABH hitting an astonishing 5.1 TRP this week it is tough to compete with it. Hope when Anamika ends, they move ChanChan to that slot or add some interesting tracks to attract more viewers. They cannot put the blame on male lead any more. No more scapegoats. Stop making CC preachy add some layers to the character. Once in a while show her actions wrong and show her fixing some of her issues. Too much sugar coat is not good.
ReplyDeleteS
I agree about it being difficult to compete with DABH, but then I can't stand that show, and I can never understand how it hits those TRPs, so I really don't understand how anything could be worse than that! And if CC is preachy, Sandhya with her one and a half expressions is worse! But people still watch her ... so the answer is not as simple as that.
DeleteI am really tired of repeating this - People NEVER blamed the male lead for TRPs ... they blamed him for non-acting. But it is a fact that he drove away the viewers at the start of the show ... nothing was right, and the fact that the male lead was so awful just added to the problem. The jumpy storyline and poor characterization was always the main cause of poor TRPs, and it continues to be the same reason ... the tracks are too jerky and fast moving without dealing with any one track in depth. All of us regular watchers have the same complaint.
I don't think CC is too preachy ... have you watched PKDH? I don't know about Sandhya, but the heroine in PKDH is far more preachy, is shown to be always right, and is a completely wooden actress. But the show is watchable ... much more than DABH for me, because all the other characters are very well sketched out. The same with BV, whatever I'm watching now - I started watching a few months ago and Anandi has always been Superwoman.
I think the main problem is in Umaben's characterization ... the hero/heroine can be pure white, that doesn't matter, they usually are ... but the characterization of the antagonist is far more important, and that's where they have gone wrong in CC. First they made Umaben too black, then they tried to make her a little more grey ... but it's still very difficult to figure out her motivation. From what I read of updates, Bhabho in DABH is more clearly etched - another character I can't stand, so this is not from my own viewing.
But agree, they do need to make the tracks more interesting ... the Mukut one is actually going quite well as of now ... but we have to wait and see how they take it, whether they land up with Mayuri the usual typical vamp and Mukut coming back quietly after repenting, or something different.
I don't agree that they are showing Chhanchhan too sugarcoated, in fact I liked the way they showed the family crisis the last few days, CC was very much in the background till yesterday, and it was all a Mukut-Umaben-Babuji show. In fact the way they have balanced the scenes with the entire family has been one of the plus points of this track. Even CC's lecture did not change Umaben's mind out of the blue - it came after Umaben had already seen her husband's and sons' disapproval, so CC's words just cemented what Umaben had already realised.
When I said preachy and sugar coat.. how many characters lay rose petals on the way Sandhya walks in DABH and consider the same question for CC. Except for Uma and one of the bhabhis every other character almost always sing "CC this and CC that" praises. It is a easy ride for CC on the other extreme is Sandhya. Both are not common in real world. At least to some extent, in DABH they show Sandhya tries to bring change but people do not like to change over-night with her magical/preachy speech. They grudgingly acknowledge their defeat and move on to their next trick. In CC as if the current Yess-Boss list is short, they added dadaji to that.
DeleteS
Dia,
DeleteI agree with you that the main problem is Uma Ben's characterisation. She does not make much sense, however you try to defend her...and she should not have been made so dark...not even grey, actually. Since there is a comparison already made with Bhabho...it is not just the same time slot...also the similarity in the concept, actually...like you pointed out, Bhabho is well etched out- and is not dark or grey. She is as white as Sandhya, but with a blind fold. I think people actually like the show because the MIL and DIL are both white...so there is no clash other than the clash of ideals there. All the MILs and DILs out there have no problem with the saas and bahu- they are both equally supported by the script. In case of CC, I guess all the MILs out there simply feel humiliated watching a woman like UB.
I have not been watching much of CC- only reading your updates and catching glimpses in between...happened to watch CC running to stop the bus...looked comical- and that looked out of place, since she was supposedly stopping her bhabhi from leaving.
For me, what S was trying to point out about the sugar coating is also true to an extent...Sandhya failed in her cooking and housekeeping skills...so she was not a perfect bahu. In case of CC, other than UB trying to put her in bad light...it has been roses all the way- gets a bit boring after a while.
Lol, I think you and I will have to agree to disagree about DABH and Bhabho ... I cannot accept that a woman who rules with iron rod over everyone in her family, including her husband, can be termed white, especially when she seems to interfere in the personal lives of all her children, especially the married ones. From what I've seen, and from what you've said, she stopped Sandhya from taking the IPS exam because she was afraid Sandhya would not fulfil her wifely and DIL duties, and might give her son a complex by being more qualified - as if she isn't already... is it really Bhabho's place to decide that? Isn't that a matter between her son and his wife? And all I've seen is Sandhya trying to prove she is good bahu and so should be allowed to work for her IPS, in fact mostly her husband encourages, and she gets doubts and falters and gives up. Shouldn't the concept of DABH be about a wife fulfilling her dreams and her husband supporting her by chipping in to help her ... not just supporting her to prove she can do both? A working woman can never be perfect in the house as well, but then husband wife mutually make the compromises required to adjust. I don't see any of that happening at all ... for me, this is a very regressive show precisely because it paints Bhabho as supposedly white and her POV as justified. Granted it happens in many regions of India, but to show it as being justified is sending out a very wrong message - completely the opposite of what it should be doing.
DeleteChhanchhan is not ideal either ... she is not a good cook, but she took help from Kaumudi and from internet ... she didn't sit back and cry and look terrified that she would be found out. She acknowledged frankly that these were her shortcomings, then got up and did something about it ... which is what I would do too, why hide it out of fear? I never knew how to cook when I got married, I never hid it or worried about it, and neither did my MIL, she just taught me whatever she could. And to date I say frankly that I'm not a great cook, but I CAN cook - there's no big deal to daily cooking.
I get most impatient when supposedly educated girls, as Sandhya is supposed to be, are so petrified of their MILs and freeze up completely. It's understandable in a village girl, but for an educated urban girl, it is stupid. That was what put me off DABH in the first couple of months when it started ... that and Sandhya's completely blank face.
Dia,
DeleteI know..we disagree on this on a regular basis.
I haven't watched DABH for a long time...really long time, actually...
I guess it is the expectation from a character...
Bhabho...it is not just Sandhya, also all the sons and daughter of the family...and Bhabho does not try to hide her iron hand...she is strict. The point I was trying to make was that, since the comparison already came up- Bhabho does not put a typical MIL to shame- it is not her place to DICTATE ANY ONE'S lives- not just Sandhya- Suraj's.
Yes. Sandhya could also go about doing things her own way..she has done that. She has stood up on many isues...but within the limits of her circumstances.
CC is not an orphan- she has all the backing of her family, as well as the job of a dog trainer. Sandhya does not come from that bg...her family was more traditional..after her parent's demise and the way her brother pushed her out- I think her confidence took a severe blow. She has only Suraj to support her. And she knows how important the mother and son are to each other. That is also because she respects so many things about her MIL. It is not about learning to cook...some of us are simply not good home makers. I am not. My MIL is a wonderful home maker. I really admire the way she manages the house and a beautiful garden, even at this age. I don't have that skill...but I am a 'working woman'...to be frank, very frank- it is an excuse to hide a lot of my inefficiencies under. *wink*
I can somehow identify a lot with Sandhya, even though my MIL is very sweet and understanding. If I were in a position like her- left alone in a strange set up by a brother who was supposed to be my guardian...I'd feel intimidated and inferior to an extent. Of course, I have a more modern and free upbringing...so the first thing my dad reassured my mom when I got married was that a girl like me wouldn't stand any MIL- DIL nonsense...and I don't. I am simply saying, 'if I were in Sandhya's shoes and in her mould...'
Problem with CC for a viewer like me is, it is unbalanced. I find it difficult to watch a show where I cannot respect a main character...and I don't even understand what that taking money and all from thakkar bhai was all about...the whole side plot of him and his daughter would have hardly taken 30 minutes and for that they had to massacre the character of the MIL! They should have portrayed her insecurities well, otherwise.
Sandhya and CC are diametrically opposite in their approaches...offence and defence! And both have to be just that.
Also, their life experiences are different... Sandhya was still studying and marriage was the last thing on her mind, whereas CC had an independent job and was already supposedly 'high time she got married and settled'.
CC's circumstances require her taking control of a family where things have been managed wrong...
And Sandhya's, a situation where her saas has been right on most accounts...the moment she loosens her Iron Hand...the family is waiting to fall apart. They are all crooks, except for her husband and her first son.
The family situations and expectations are different too...
I guess what makes DABH interesting is how two people can be right...and yet totally different....and how they both end up learning from each other...
Bhabho is white, Dia. She has not tried to manipulate any one...that is a big plus. Even with Sandhya, whatever game she played was after a big battle in her mind...buckling under pressure. And I caught a promo where Bhabho starts comparing her other DILs against Sandhya...and realises she has been unfair to her..or something like that.
On the whole, I feel both MIL and DIL characters have been etched out and supported equally well...whereas in CC, it is heavily one sided. I agree about the actress' blank face, though.
Can't agree more with you Su about your wonderful analysis of DABH. I started watching DABH or Indian TV around IPKKND 200th episode. I did not even go back to see all old episodes of DABH like I did for IPKKND. But still, I feel like I know each character of it. Some are wicked some are confused and some are straight like an arrow. But I understand each one of them. There is no ambiguity. Writers and directors are wonderful for this show. They never leave a loose end. Not a single unwanted scene. Every tiny bit has some significance.
DeleteRecently I read that they are researching all women IPS officers as that track is fast approaching. In the hands of this able writing team I am sure they will make us realize the importance of perseverance to chase your dreams. Not every thing comes to you easy.
I always like fighters not simple boring takers.Too much negetivity makes me skip the show sometimes during those scenes. Still, I rank DABH as my favourite show. Yes, I wish lead actress can act.. but with that pretty face, mesmerizing smile n strong supporting cast, I can live with her no acting. Anyways not every second is focused on her even though story is basically her story.
CC makers, to come out of those bad ratings should focus first on their characters. Housewife on Zee has similar storyline. Faced with same bad ratings as CC, they changed entire cast by just retaining 3 lead characters though their ratings are slightly better than CC. changing storylines for ratings is bad but not taking them seriously is bad too.
sigh! how i wish sanaya accepted a strong role like shanti/rajani with her strong acting skills and following she would have done wonders to the role with good team.
is it true they are replacing surbhi jyoti from QH as she started showing attitude? she started as an annoying char. and now she is good.. if the news is true .. its a bad move!
S
LOL, again agree to disagree on this one. I find DABH unwatchable - period. All the characters are loud and stereotyped, and are overly exaggerated - most shows have exaggerated characters for drama, but the ones here are more than most. The only quiet character is Suraj. I used to catch bits of DABH when SC started, and I got confused which show I was watching because the Dughba in SC was some character here, and I couldn't tell the difference - she was equally loud and obnoxious in both. I think she has toned down in SC since then. And I dislike the message - I get the message only from the promos, because I don't watch the show at all, and the last one has Sandhya wondering what to do because husband and MIL are pulling in opposite directions - I find it ridiculous! I don't like that message. It may play differently in the show, but the promo itself put me off - as did the matka promo.
DeleteThe strength of the show is probably in the writing, but since I don't watch, I can't comment on that. The only track I wanted to watch was the Godman track, because that really appealed to me ... but I couldn't catch the relevant parts.
If you want a fair comparison, I will compare to BV and YRKKH, both are also well written shows. When I catch BV and even YRKKH, I find them both far more watchable, though they get boring at times. But the characters there are likeable - while none of the characters in DABH are actually likeable! The BV and YRK characters are much more realistic, at least for me. And the acting in BV for the most part is far superior.
CC - the biggest weakness in the show is the characterization of the leads, especially Umaben. That is where the show got off on the wrong foot. All the other actors are very watchable and are interesting, they all had different foibles, and those are coming to the forefront slowly, but their foundation had been laid from the start of the show. But the writing is very weak, the tracks are rushed and not explored with any depth at all, so for the audience to connect is difficult. Having said that, for a saas bahu cum family show, it is watchable and very entertaining, if you watch it like an SGP and not like a DABH. Watch it, laugh, and forget it ...
I think Sanaya took this kind of show purposely ... IPK connected with the audience so well that it became a headache for her and still continues to be one! Whether consciously or unconsciously, people are looking for that kind of intensity and connect. I watch it only to watch Sanaya on screen, I completely enjoy it for those 20 minutes, and I don't really think about it afterwards, because I know the issues will be cleared up soon enough, and won't drag. I wish the messages they were giving were shown better and in more depth, because I like those messages a lot.
S, Sanaya can only accept roles she is offered. She doesn't make or write shows. Is there any show with such a strong storyline as you mentioned on air currently? Also, its a lot to do with timing ... she has to be free to take up such an offer when it happens .. if she is tied up in another show, she won't leave it. But she's here to stay, she loves the industry, and it's a very lucky actress who can achieve back to back successes with strong roles in consecutive shows - she has done it twice already, with MJHT and IPK ... hopefully CC is just a stopgap till she gets something bigger and better for her next role.
In the meantime, she probably needs a break, especially from the SaRun fans who can't accept her with anyone else and are still hell bent on an IPK2 - and from the type of show which causes frenzy among the fans - first the RP fans ruined the S2 of MJHT, and then BS and his fans ruined IPK. She seems to be jinxed with her male costars - first BS and then FK. Hope Anuj stays for the duration of CC, however long it lasts, and for her next show hope even more that she gets a costar with good acting skills and with staying power.
Dia,
DeleteOn the message from the promo...it is a woman choosing between her husband's dreams FOR HER and her dreams FOR HIM...Her dreams are simple enough...she does not want her husband's family torn apart by the decision he is taking. He is doing it for her- what she fails to realise is that it is him denying HIMSELF AND HIS FAMILY for her.
In return, what she is doing is, DENYING HERSELF- for his peace of mind. She can see far in to the future here...HER CAREER and HER DREAMS ARE NOT IMPORTANT..her husband's dreams and his family is important.
And her dilemma is that she has to choose between his dreams and his family. She is trying to be selfless, and it is the greatest dilemma she has faced- whatever she chooses, she will have to be unfair to one part of HIM.
Again, I guess this is a dilemma most of us face- between our dreams and family stability. I know, because I constantly wonder if my potential is being fully realised. I know I could have done much better if I was single- at the cost of a family life. So, I console myself that I made the right choice. I am lucky, very lucky. Since I at least have a job...and my husband is very supportive...and I still have a chance at my dreams.
I know many women who would have done very well in their respective fields, but were tied down to their family, burying their dreams...by their OWN CHOICE sometimes..and someone else's choice at other times. And for a woman like me, DABH explores these issues in depth. I wouldn't compare with YRKKH- because that is a very boring show for me. BV- yes- well written, better directed and excellent cast with much less negativity...that is why it has stayed on top all these years. DABH will stay on top too, not because of the negativity or loudness- but the concept of a man supporting his wife- against her judgement. It is well researched.
San- I think San had better expectations from the CC team... I had. CC is not as watchable as SBS- MAINLY BECAUSE THEY SCREWED UP UB's character...and also, the flow is not as smooth as SBS. It is an excellent alternative to a show like YRKKH, at least for me- because I find YRKKH too boring and preachy.
Sarun fans will never leave her alone- she can never do enough to prove them wrong...just like Geet fans felt GurTi chemistry was better than Sarun and IPK fans feel Sarun chemistry is better than KaBhi...
What matters is that she has established herself in the industry...and nothing can change it now. And she has many many good roles down the line...CC is never a mistake- just a part time job with excellent benefits.
I do hope she takes up NB ... Jenny too...it will be nice to see Karan and Sanaya in the same show...even if not opposite each other...unlikely I guess, since- Jenny and Karan have their hands full...
S,
I guess we are both based in India, and therefore can identify with Sandhya better. Thanks.
Researching on women IPS officers...I guess their situation will not be different from any working woman who has to balance a job, staying in a joint family. Of course, their work related pressures are higher...and that is why DABH is a more interesting concept than BV for me. (I still watch a lot more of BV than DABH..so the treatment is the most important thing for me as a viewer, I guess.)
Surbhi will not be replaced...she is well grounded and very close to Gul...and to Karan...I think they will both stay till the end of the show. They have a wonderful team out there...
Dia,
These Sarun fans are so irritating...I hope Barun never returns to television.
My mom is 70+, very much based in India, has not worked a single day in her life - not for money, that is, she has been very active in social work all her life ... and she cannot empathise with Bhabho at all. Nor with Sandhya.
DeleteIf Sandhya is happily married, and that seems to be the case now, then her husband's dreams and her dreams should be shared and discussed between them. This unilateral nobility of thought and sacrifice is even more silly in that case. If her husband's family and his dreams are more important than hers are to HER, then obviously her dreams were never important enough in the first place, and all this is a big fuss over nothing.
When a woman is committed to something, be it her work or her family, then she has to be prepared to make sacrifices and compromises, and so does everyone ... but SHE has to be committed enough first. That first essential part does NOT come through for me AT ALL. Does Sandhya really want to be a career IPS officer at all? Or is it just that it was her childhood dream, which she is quite happy to forsake now ... but her poor husband thinks she gave it up for his sake, so he's doing all he can to help her achieve it, not knowing that she's very happy being a housewife and good bahu, and that's quite enough for her!
Unless both husband wife are on the same page, all this nobility and self-sacrifice makes no sense to me.
My husband and I are both career professionals, and I have had to give up my job many times in the course of our moves, as his job is mobile. Each and every move was discussed threadbare between us, with consideration given to both people's careers, and he has always helped me and encouraged me to follow my work and my studies as much as I could. So have my kids. When I was doing my second Masters degree, the entire family was completely supportive, because they knew that I was committed to my work. If I hadn't been committed, no one else would have been so bothered.
Anyway, you enjoy DABH ... it makes no sense to me ... so we are on opposite poles on this one! :))) No room for compromise here!!!
Sarun fans ... there we are very much on the same page - they bug me big time! Now we have a popcorn post saying good the real drama has started, and please omit the fake romance! They can't stand to see Sanaya look good with anyone other than Barun! If the same feeling extended to Barun with other heroines I would be more tolerant (just a shade) ... but as it is, it reeks of double standards and insecurity!
CC - writing is poor, despite that, the show is watchable for me ... because there is more positivity and the acting is uniformly decent. I can't watch a show where the acting is poor! If the actors don't connect, the show doesn't find a connect with me ... especially the female lead. PKDH had that problem ... there I like Avantika more than the FL, so I watch it more often! And the wicked saas bahu duo are more comical than wicked :)))
'This unilateral nobility of thought and sacrifice is even more silly in that case. If her husband's family and his dreams are more important than hers are to HER, then obviously her dreams were never important enough in the first place, and all this is a big fuss over nothing.
DeleteWhen a woman is committed to something, be it her work or her family, then she has to be prepared to make sacrifices and compromises, and so does everyone ... but SHE has to be committed enough first. That first essential part does NOT come through for me AT ALL. Does Sandhya really want to be a career IPS officer at all? Or is it just that it was her childhood dream, which she is quite happy to forsake now ... but her poor husband thinks she gave it up for his sake, so he's doing all he can to help her achieve it, not knowing that she's very happy being a housewife and good bahu, and that's quite enough for her!'
Dia,
I don't enjoy watching DABH or anything...I am not even sure why I am defending a show I don't even watch....I guess I am defending the creatives, because they make some sort of a sense.
Your mother is educated and has been active in social work- she will make compromises for her children and her family....
Bhabho is uneducated and her thinking will never be the same as your mother's. I can somehow sympathise with a woman who has lived by the book, and cannot tolerate any kind of falsehood. In Sandhya's case, they simply started on the wrong note...and the first impression leaves a lasting impression, especially when you are a strict matriarch like Bhabho. And more so, when a girl like Sandhya was the last person she had in mind for her halwayi beta...
Sandhya's dreams were very much her dreams...and if she had married an educated man and not a halwayi, and had the backing of a family...she'd have happily pursued it. Right now, her dreams are not a priority- the stability of the family is...when you talk about your higher education, I guess your husband and children had to adjust a lot...- if your in- laws were with you, they'd have had to, too.
What is the reality of a girl like Sandhya getting married into a family like Bhabho's....she will try to adjust to the rules of a family, and try to gain her MIL's appreciation..because she is the head of the family...and she respects her for her values and her position in the family and society.
Down the line, the MIL- DIL relationship gets better- even if it does not, the girl starts growing up...and her dreams come back to her. If she is really committed, she will pursue it even 5 or 10 years later...if she is lucky, with the support of her family. That is all that is happening in Sandhya's case too. More than her dream, I think it was her father's dream...and Suraj is respecting her father's aspirations...So, Sandhya is respecting his mother's feelings...it is not any one sacrificing anything for any one...it is just how you try to adjust in a joint family...if U WANT IT TO CONTINUE TO BE A JOINT FAMILY.
CC does the same too, when she keeps UB's truth from Manav.(I presume that is the situation) She wants to keep the family from breaking...at all costs. And CC is closer to me than Sandhya, so I vehemently disagree with any self sacrificing traits in an independent woman.
As a couple, they are supposed to share everything...I wouldn't appreciate it at all, if my dad tried to pull down my husband's business and he kept it from me...as a wife, I have the right to know everything that happens in his life- even if it is a bitter truth about my dad. I'd feel disappointed, if he kept something like this from me. (Please ignore this para if CC has indeed shared the truth with Manav. :D)
We will never agree on this probably, like we never agreed on Anjali- Arnav...I guess the concept of the complicated situations in a joint family is alien to most of our generation. It is VERY DIFFICULT TO SPEND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE with your in- laws, unless you make some major compromises, basically. :D That is why we have only nuclear families now...
DeleteThe creatives are trying to show how an educated girl can survive in a joint family system, yet pursue her dreams...when there is a man who is not ashamed of his unequal and inferior status is there to direct her, and take pride in his wife's success.
And in return, she makes sure his mother who has only HIS best interests in her mind, does not feel alienated from her son.
More than sacrifice, I see kindness- because Sandhya tries to see the mother in bhabho. And ultimately, she is her mother too.
(I guess I don't watch the show regularly, because I get tired of the pretty face with two expressions.)
The point is, this show was promoted with the tagline ... a husband supports his wife's dreams. I find - from the promos only - I don't watch the show, the promos themselves put me off - that the wife is not even sure what she wants in the first place. I thought it would be about a woman balancing home and family on one side, and her career on the other ... it degenerated into a total saas bahu saga, where the wife has spent two years trying to prove that she can be a good bahu and wife. Balancing a career doesn't even enter the picture!
DeleteMaybe my expectations were so far from what the serial is showing, that's why I feel a complete disconnect.
D
ReplyDeletewhen you first learn driving, chances are that your instructor would have told you.. don't look in front of the car.. look at the horizon.. that is exactly what Sandhya's philosophy is all about.
Su
Yes, I am India born Canadian working in US for 8+ years.
S
S,
DeleteRead my comment above.
Again I say - if a person, man or woman, does not have enough confidence in themselves to follow their goal, then no support, of spouse, parents, in-laws ... NOTHING will be good enough. The horizon for Sandhya SHOULD be a BALANCE of the two ... from the promos, she's still wondering whether she should follow her dreams at all. And that is where I find the message very wrong ... because that is exactly the message most girls are given, that they cannot follow their career without compromising their family life ... their family might suffer if they follow their career, including husband's ego etc ... and hence they should think it through carefully.
WHEREAS the message SHOULD be ... a girl can follow her career, but compromises have to be made at both ends, by husband AND wife ... and children and parents too. And those compromises are WORTHWHILE ... because it gives a woman a sense of self-worth and self-respect, and increases her respect in her own family as well. She is not just wife, mother, DIL etc ... she is ALSO a person in her own right. And the man HAS to help her ... I read an article some time back, that the Indian man is lagging way behind his female counterpart because his thinking has not changed ... that if a woman can enter the work place, a man can and should take over some of the domestic burden.
That is where the West has gone way ahead of us ... there is still a glass ceiling very much in place, of course ... but the basic issue about whether a woman should work or not, should be educated or not, has been firmly decided ages ago ... OF COURSE she should study, OF COURSE she should work if she wants to, and if she has the need to. Many women work because they have the need to, not just because they want to follow a career ... Indian TV on the whole gives this very warped and wrong message about women of good families not working because they don't 'need to' ... hamare ghar ki bahu betiyan kaam nahin karti ... as though that is something to be proud of. And a working woman is something to be ashamed of.
DABH is dragging the issue back to the Dark Ages ... should girls be educated at all, should they be allowed to work?
WHO has the RIGHT to "allow" them? That should be a matter ONLY between husband and wife ... no one else has the right to interfere. Not even in a joint family. And if this was a truly progressive serial, then this would be the message.
Dia,
DeleteI think it is the perspective, like U said above...U watched it with different expectations...
They will come down to your expectations...but their aim is to make a 5 year show...
So, in all probability they will show Sandhya having to choose between her family and duty...her real fight will come there...Suraj's too, since their inequality will become all the more glaring there. I do agree that if U expected a girl fighting for her Right To Education, the serial will be disappointing...
But I don't feel they are in the dark ages...if Suraj was not supportive- was selfish- Sandhya would have fought for her rights...left him and pursued her dreams...and then he would have come around. Here she is feeling secure, hence does not feel the need to fight any one...she just wants to return his favour.
Even if he is just a nice husband, happy with her being a HW, her dreams would have come back to her when she felt utterly useless and jobless...thing is, she has had plenty of social work that kept her occupied so far...so boredom has not set in. She is already fulfilling a part of her dream..that of helping others.
D
ReplyDeletenot everybody dreams the same way. some gives in to setbacks and some keep dreaming some put their dreams to sleep (LOL) for some time and persue them when the time is right. But the point is one need not just be like arjun eyeing the goal 24/7. there are many ways and many by-lanes to get there. the path sandhya choose are with many detours.
growing up in south india, an average student, i wanted to do engineering. dad said you can study whatever you want with 2 conditions.
1. no donations
2. no out of town college.
means, i have to get a seat in JNTU in our City kakinada which is one of top universities that time. being a victim of reservation system, to get a seat there, i should get engineering entrance rank under 700.
it is financially tough for my dad to send me to JNTU even if i get that rank. so he put that tough task ahead for me. i know that .. i dropped that idea to help my dad and also as it is convenient to do B.Sc. i almost forgot that engineering dream.. happy to be in a small job with small joys of life. life changed again, and out of blue, i got another chance. this time it was due to someone's push, i resumed education, got a job in canada and first time in life travelled alone.. that too to a different country.
some people are like that, they are content with small joys. just because i did not try hard enough to get into JNTU does not mean i did not dream well or i cannot dream.
i can understand sandhya's predictment to stand up to bhabho. some times peace and other's happiness is much valuable. i read some where..
if you want to go fast, go alone
if you want to go far, go together
i do not think DABH is giving wrong message at all. it is only showing what happens in most cases. people make adjustments. it is showing about those adjustments. for me, DABH is inspiring too because it shows making adjustment does not mean you have to say bye to your dreams.
S
'if you want to go fast, go alone
Deleteif you want to go far, go together'
Well said, S...*applause*