Maryada: So it’s all Brahmanand’s plan – to get Devyani to her knees, and back into her usual quiet, silent suffering self. Because he wants a doormat for a wife, and one who keeps to her place, yet runs his house, his life and his family with ease and efficiency, keeps quiet about his extra-marital liaisons, and gives him the liberty to do what he wants. Besides she’s good for his career as well. Perfect case of having his cake and eating it too. And he’s not bothered about Uttara – he’s got what he wanted from her, namely sex, and that’s all he wanted. So why would he go to the trouble of marrying her and disrupting his carefully ordered life, and bringing turmoil to his family, and his name in society? And most importantly, his own comfort?
Priya does realise that this is all a plan by BJ, and that he won’t go as far as a divorce, but Devyani is not ready to listen. She is too scared. Like all women, she may not have her husband’s love and respect, but she does have security, the security of being his wife. And like many women, she has no other place to go. Better the security with the disrespect, than self-respect on the streets. Pragmatic? Yes. A reality for many women? Also yes. Insecurity and lack of self-confidence? Most definitely.
Some lessons here for Shyam and Arnav. Arnav has all he wants from La, so again, why should he bother to marry her? He also has the freedom to look at other women, because live-in means just that – no commitment at all. For all those ‘modern’ thinking people, who were defending his and La’s right to a live-in relationship – well, here’s the flip side of it. You can’t complain when things go sour. As La will find out – a bit late in the day. She went all out to impress his family all right, because belatedly she realised – or rather, Khushi pointed out to her – that live-in is not commitment, it’s not marriage. And marriage, while not bringing absolute security, does bring in a lot more than a live-in relationship does. You can’t really complain when a live-in relationship goes kaput, because you made no promises either. While marriages are far more difficult, though not impossible, to break, because they involve a lot more than just the two people, they involve families, society, the works. That’s why marriage is a social institution, because it cements the bond of love between two people in the eyes of the world.
Shyam – is he like Brahmanand Jhakar? Wanting another woman, yet perfectly happy to keep his doormat of a wife tucked in a corner. For Shyam, Anjali brings another benefit – her wealth. He married her for her money, he doesn’t have to run a house, take care of any expenses, he can live a lavish lifestyle in his wife’s home and everyone is happy. But he wants his cake on the side – if Khushi is not an Uttara, and won’t give him anything without marriage, well, he’ll give her marriage. What does it matter? It’s a piece of paper for the sake of society, it has no sanctity for him. Shyam actually has far less respect for the institution of marriage than Arnav does – he pays it lip service and does exactly what he wants – proclaims he’s married when it suits him, hides it when it suits him. So to answer the questions on why is Shyam insisting on marrying Khushi, it’s a) because he can’t have her any other way, and b) because for him, marriage is just a word. And a convenient one. He married Anjali for money, he wants to marry Khushi for lust, possession. And when he gets tired of Khushi, he can throw her out, because their marriage is not legal.
Lavanya. Has she really changed? And why feel so sorry for her? She came into this house with her eyes open. Arnav has not changed, he has not made her any promises, and he in fact warned her not to change, because he liked her the way she was. Same as BJ in a way – Arnav’s relationship with La is based on convenience, not on love. He needs eye candy at office parties, a woman to satisfy his desire when he wants – all the close scenes by La have been initiated by her, not by him, and he barely ever responds. So she is available whenever he wants, but he doesn’t pay her the same respect. Well, she apparently accepted that all along, she never fought or complained, so why is it an issue now? Just because she has turned sweet? Maybe one reason that she has not noticed the burgeoning relationship with Khushi is because she herself has never had much more than what Arnav gives her now. And the one thing he did give her – a physical relationship – has been nixed by Nani the day she entered the house, and Arnav agreed on separate rooms. As far as La is concerned, things haven’t changed. She was never able to manage Arnav, never able to persuade him to do anything he didn’t want to do, he was the boss in their relationship and he still is. She listened to him, did what he told her, was grateful and happy when he noticed her or gave her some time, and got scared if ever he got angry with her. She still does. The difference is not in her relationship with Arnav, the difference is in her relationship with Khushi, and following that, with the other members of the house. From being tolerated for Arnav’s sake, she is now liked and accepted by everyone – read Anjali and Nani – and she knows that Khushi has played the biggest role in that. And after all, that was why she came to RM in the first place – to win over his family. In her wildest dreams, she can’t imagine, and neither can anyone else, that the reason Arnav has changed is the same reason that she, La has changed – Khushi. And maybe because Khushi has succeeded in changing her, La believes, and so does Anjali, that Khushi has also managed to change Arnav because of her nature. Love doesn’t come into the picture for either of them.
So is la with her current mixture of modernity and newly discovered sanskar, the ideal Raizada bahu after all? She’s modern enough for Arnav, traditional enough for Nani, and willing to be both.
I would have thought so till I saw the scene with Khushi among the diyas and Arnav looking at her. And then I realised that no, it’s not so. La is not the ideal bahu. For all her imperfections, it’s still Khushi – Khushi the child-woman, with her courage, her mix of maturity and childishness, her strength, her stubbornness enough to match Arnav’s, her willingness to take on his anger and fight it, if she thinks he’s wrong ... she is a strong personality and Arnav needs someone like her as his match ... he needs her childishness to bring back the lost child in him, her positivity to dissolve his bitterness and cynicism, and her strength to fight him when he’s wrong, and willingness to bear the brunt of his anger. And more, because he wants to protect her, look after her, shield her from the storms that have shaken her life and still shake it, and keep that spirit, that fire and that courage in her alive.They are different, yet they are the same, they are unequal in the eyes of the world, yet they are equal.
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