2nd Nov Wed
Jadoo hai Nasha hai ...
And the dhamaka hits from an unexpected corner.
Arnav and Khushi don't need any external roadblocks in their story. Arnav with his complexities and his hidden fears is enough.
*edit*
What an episode! The return of ASR ... or rather, the struggle of Arnav to hide behind ASR ... a desperate struggle, because this girl is bringing out emotions he never wanted to feel, had lost all faith in and had deemed unnecessary and unwelcome in his life. ASR is in control of his life, he knows exactly what he is doing, he MAKES his life happen the way he wants it, he sets his own rules ...
Then what is happening to him? Why do Khushi's tears move him like nothing else does? Why can he not take his eyes from her face, from that etheral beauty, that porcelain innocence? Why did he keep that payal so carefully all these days ... a payal found on the day he found her again, when he thought he had lost her forever ... she reappeared in his life, when he had been agonising over her going, then like a mischievous fairy sprite, she disappeared again, leaving her payal ... and he kept it ... why? As evidence, as proof, to soothe his soul, that she was really back.
But he never knew how much it meant to her ... and when she casually mentioned it to La ... that she preferred to wear just one payal rather than get a brand new pair, because of what that payal meant to her, his heart went out to her again ... the pain of lost parents their most powerful binding force ... and he had to return it to her.
And when he returned her payal, his heart went along with it.
she looked at him wonderingly, questioningly ... where had he found it ... why did he choose today to return it ... a thousand questions in those beautiful doe-brown eyes ... he turned his back to them, because he was afraid of the answer.
And then he turned back ... because turning away from her was not an option any more.
She backed away as he advanced, startled, nervous ... till she could back no further ... and still he came forward, as though drawn like a moth to the flame ...
Jadoo hai nasha hai, madhoshiyan ...
Tujh ko bulake main jaun kahan ...
Shama tujhko kheenchti hai ... apni ore ... aa jaa
Parwane meri baahon mein aa ...
Her lowered eyes, her averted looks, her quickened breath ... her hands clench on her sari, as though to stop herself from holding on to him ... she is as drawn to him as he is to her ... he knows that ... and her passive acceptance draws him on further ahead ...
But when he reaches out, touches her, gently pushes her hair back in the most intimate of gestures, for she is his and his alone ... she raises her head to stare at him ... her eyes ask questions he doesn't want to answer ... he wants to live in the moment for once ...
Lo thaam lo yeh lamhon ke dhaage ...
Hum chal pade hain sapnon se aage ...
And she gives in ... to his caresses, to his touch ... trusting him, believing in him ...
Raasta yeh hai kathin par iss safar mein kabhi ...
na hongi koi ab dooriyan ...
No, he can't stay away any more ... he doesn't want to stay away any more ... as her eyes close helplessly, he bends to touch her trembling lips with his ...
Jadoo hai nasha hai ... madhoshiyan ...
tujhko bhulake ab jaun kahan ...
And their eyes snap open as the phone rings ... a sound to bring them back to earth, to reality ... his hands drop, shock and horror in his face, shock and confusion in hers ... what is happening between them?!
She's shocked, confused, still not completely out of the moment ...
but he's more than shocked ... as reality returns, he's angry ... at himself ... what is he doing?! He looks at her face, confused, yet pure in its innocence, and he hates himself even more ... he closes his eyes ... and leaves, because he can't stand to see her and what he nearly did ... he leaves as though desperate to get away from her ... but how to get away from himself? From the newly awakened Arnav?
She stares after him ... what just happened? How could she have been so ... pliant ... so ...?
And then as memory returns ... but how and why did he have her payal? And what is happening to them?
Barun was fabulous here ... his eyes showed his thoughts ... what the hell am I doing? His shock, his anger, his guilt ...
And Sanaya was beautiful ... simply beautiful ... I can't describe the myriad of emotions in her eyes ... her innocence, her awakening, and then the pain, the betrayal as he backed away ... turning something which was so pure and so beautiful into something so wrong ... and her look as he walks away ... he's going? After this? He just leaves and walks away?! How can he? And what was 'this'?
She has to find out. Khushi ... ever true to herself, and ever strong ... not one to run away ... she wants to know ... and so she will ask him ... face to face ... Khushi will face herself and her emotions head on ... she will be true to them ... besides, she doesn't think what happened was wrong ... because it felt right ... Shyam's one touch on her hand felt so wrong, but Arnav's fixing her ankle, putting the payal on her foot, his hands on her face, his caresses, his closeness ... it all felt right ... so right.
Heart over head for sure ... she doesn't think about La for an instant ... it's only about her and Arnav.
So she seeks him out ... for an answer ...
But he can't face her. Head over heart here ... the head is struggling ... the heart winning ... but it can't win, because he's ASR ... he feels no emotions ... he is all head and no heart. How could he have been so weak, to succumb to the moment?
He looks at her ... her eyes clear, a thousand questions in them ... guilt in his, he can't answer them ...
So till the head can regain control, he leaves ... he can't face her. If she's there, his head loses control again and his heart takes over.
And Arnav is on the run ... from himself and from Khushi ... his conscience, the voice of his heart.
She seeks him out again and again ... in the crowds, in the party ... he runs again ... he's still not ready to face her, will he ever be?
And then she sees him alone, where he's run to hide ... he tries to pretend he's on the phone, but she knows him too well ... and he has no choice ... he has to face her.
You had my payal? Since when? Why didn't you give it back? Why today?
He doesn't have any answers for her ... he draws the cloak of rude, onboxious nasty ASR back over himself
Leave me alone. I don't want to see your face. Do you understand.
No I don't understand. You have to explain to me. Why?!
She needs to hear it from him, hear the words. Why is this happening between them?
Why didn't you give it back? What is the meaning of all this? And of what ... what happened ... earlier ...?
He cannot ... just cannot answer her. Cannot admit his weakness ... cannot admit that she is his weakness ... that she and his own heart, the enemy within, are working in tandem to bring down the walls he has surrounded himself with ... and that every brick that falls terrifies him with its deafening noise, heralds the ends of ASR ...
He will not let that happen, he will not ... !
He catches her by the shoulders, bruising her ... Leave me alone!
She looks up at him with tear-filled eyes and he closes his eyes in frustrated guilt ... he hurt her yet again ... but it's the only way he knows to protect himself ...
He leaves her and she doesn't say another word, just looks at him as though to say ... why are you doing this?! Why are you hurting yourself?
She wants an answer.
He says, I don't have to give you one.
And leaves.
Interespersed with party moments of La being insulted ... Arnav walks in at fag end, desperate to hide from Khushi, from her questions ...
I am marrying La.
And Khushi turns in shock.
Anjali, Nani, La disbelieving, then overjoyed, guests congratulate ... and all Arnav can look at is Khushi, at the single tear escaping her eye. As her eyes ask him ... what are you doing?
She turns away just for a moment, and his eyes search for her face ... oh god, Arnav, just for a second you couldn't see her face and you could barely breathe ... what are you going to do when she leaves your life?
She turns back ... heartbreak on her face, in her eyes ...
Sanaya, you bring me to tears every time with that look ...
He had told his sister ... if ever such a girl enters my life, I will turn and run in the other direction ...
And that's exactly what he's doing.
And Anjali had told him ... you will try, but you won't be able to. Because your very breaths will stop when you try.
And I'm waiting for that to happen.
The Diwali dhamaka happened all right ... but not the way I was expecting it!
Now will Khushi agree to marry Shyam? Or will she stay true to herself and her love, and refuse again? Although I want the latter, I am afraid the former will happen, alongside Arnav-La wedding preparations ... and then what? A last minute rescue at the mandap? Very cliched, done to death ... I really do hope the cv's do something new.
Jadoo hai Nasha hai ...
And the dhamaka hits from an unexpected corner.
Arnav and Khushi don't need any external roadblocks in their story. Arnav with his complexities and his hidden fears is enough.
*edit*
What an episode! The return of ASR ... or rather, the struggle of Arnav to hide behind ASR ... a desperate struggle, because this girl is bringing out emotions he never wanted to feel, had lost all faith in and had deemed unnecessary and unwelcome in his life. ASR is in control of his life, he knows exactly what he is doing, he MAKES his life happen the way he wants it, he sets his own rules ...
Then what is happening to him? Why do Khushi's tears move him like nothing else does? Why can he not take his eyes from her face, from that etheral beauty, that porcelain innocence? Why did he keep that payal so carefully all these days ... a payal found on the day he found her again, when he thought he had lost her forever ... she reappeared in his life, when he had been agonising over her going, then like a mischievous fairy sprite, she disappeared again, leaving her payal ... and he kept it ... why? As evidence, as proof, to soothe his soul, that she was really back.
But he never knew how much it meant to her ... and when she casually mentioned it to La ... that she preferred to wear just one payal rather than get a brand new pair, because of what that payal meant to her, his heart went out to her again ... the pain of lost parents their most powerful binding force ... and he had to return it to her.
And when he returned her payal, his heart went along with it.
she looked at him wonderingly, questioningly ... where had he found it ... why did he choose today to return it ... a thousand questions in those beautiful doe-brown eyes ... he turned his back to them, because he was afraid of the answer.
And then he turned back ... because turning away from her was not an option any more.
She backed away as he advanced, startled, nervous ... till she could back no further ... and still he came forward, as though drawn like a moth to the flame ...
Jadoo hai nasha hai, madhoshiyan ...
Tujh ko bulake main jaun kahan ...
Shama tujhko kheenchti hai ... apni ore ... aa jaa
Parwane meri baahon mein aa ...
Her lowered eyes, her averted looks, her quickened breath ... her hands clench on her sari, as though to stop herself from holding on to him ... she is as drawn to him as he is to her ... he knows that ... and her passive acceptance draws him on further ahead ...
But when he reaches out, touches her, gently pushes her hair back in the most intimate of gestures, for she is his and his alone ... she raises her head to stare at him ... her eyes ask questions he doesn't want to answer ... he wants to live in the moment for once ...
Lo thaam lo yeh lamhon ke dhaage ...
Hum chal pade hain sapnon se aage ...
And she gives in ... to his caresses, to his touch ... trusting him, believing in him ...
Raasta yeh hai kathin par iss safar mein kabhi ...
na hongi koi ab dooriyan ...
No, he can't stay away any more ... he doesn't want to stay away any more ... as her eyes close helplessly, he bends to touch her trembling lips with his ...
Jadoo hai nasha hai ... madhoshiyan ...
tujhko bhulake ab jaun kahan ...
And their eyes snap open as the phone rings ... a sound to bring them back to earth, to reality ... his hands drop, shock and horror in his face, shock and confusion in hers ... what is happening between them?!
She's shocked, confused, still not completely out of the moment ...
but he's more than shocked ... as reality returns, he's angry ... at himself ... what is he doing?! He looks at her face, confused, yet pure in its innocence, and he hates himself even more ... he closes his eyes ... and leaves, because he can't stand to see her and what he nearly did ... he leaves as though desperate to get away from her ... but how to get away from himself? From the newly awakened Arnav?
She stares after him ... what just happened? How could she have been so ... pliant ... so ...?
And then as memory returns ... but how and why did he have her payal? And what is happening to them?
Barun was fabulous here ... his eyes showed his thoughts ... what the hell am I doing? His shock, his anger, his guilt ...
And Sanaya was beautiful ... simply beautiful ... I can't describe the myriad of emotions in her eyes ... her innocence, her awakening, and then the pain, the betrayal as he backed away ... turning something which was so pure and so beautiful into something so wrong ... and her look as he walks away ... he's going? After this? He just leaves and walks away?! How can he? And what was 'this'?
She has to find out. Khushi ... ever true to herself, and ever strong ... not one to run away ... she wants to know ... and so she will ask him ... face to face ... Khushi will face herself and her emotions head on ... she will be true to them ... besides, she doesn't think what happened was wrong ... because it felt right ... Shyam's one touch on her hand felt so wrong, but Arnav's fixing her ankle, putting the payal on her foot, his hands on her face, his caresses, his closeness ... it all felt right ... so right.
Heart over head for sure ... she doesn't think about La for an instant ... it's only about her and Arnav.
So she seeks him out ... for an answer ...
But he can't face her. Head over heart here ... the head is struggling ... the heart winning ... but it can't win, because he's ASR ... he feels no emotions ... he is all head and no heart. How could he have been so weak, to succumb to the moment?
He looks at her ... her eyes clear, a thousand questions in them ... guilt in his, he can't answer them ...
So till the head can regain control, he leaves ... he can't face her. If she's there, his head loses control again and his heart takes over.
And Arnav is on the run ... from himself and from Khushi ... his conscience, the voice of his heart.
She seeks him out again and again ... in the crowds, in the party ... he runs again ... he's still not ready to face her, will he ever be?
And then she sees him alone, where he's run to hide ... he tries to pretend he's on the phone, but she knows him too well ... and he has no choice ... he has to face her.
You had my payal? Since when? Why didn't you give it back? Why today?
He doesn't have any answers for her ... he draws the cloak of rude, onboxious nasty ASR back over himself
Leave me alone. I don't want to see your face. Do you understand.
No I don't understand. You have to explain to me. Why?!
She needs to hear it from him, hear the words. Why is this happening between them?
Why didn't you give it back? What is the meaning of all this? And of what ... what happened ... earlier ...?
He cannot ... just cannot answer her. Cannot admit his weakness ... cannot admit that she is his weakness ... that she and his own heart, the enemy within, are working in tandem to bring down the walls he has surrounded himself with ... and that every brick that falls terrifies him with its deafening noise, heralds the ends of ASR ...
He will not let that happen, he will not ... !
He catches her by the shoulders, bruising her ... Leave me alone!
She looks up at him with tear-filled eyes and he closes his eyes in frustrated guilt ... he hurt her yet again ... but it's the only way he knows to protect himself ...
He leaves her and she doesn't say another word, just looks at him as though to say ... why are you doing this?! Why are you hurting yourself?
She wants an answer.
He says, I don't have to give you one.
And leaves.
Interespersed with party moments of La being insulted ... Arnav walks in at fag end, desperate to hide from Khushi, from her questions ...
I am marrying La.
And Khushi turns in shock.
Anjali, Nani, La disbelieving, then overjoyed, guests congratulate ... and all Arnav can look at is Khushi, at the single tear escaping her eye. As her eyes ask him ... what are you doing?
She turns away just for a moment, and his eyes search for her face ... oh god, Arnav, just for a second you couldn't see her face and you could barely breathe ... what are you going to do when she leaves your life?
She turns back ... heartbreak on her face, in her eyes ...
Sanaya, you bring me to tears every time with that look ...
He had told his sister ... if ever such a girl enters my life, I will turn and run in the other direction ...
And that's exactly what he's doing.
And Anjali had told him ... you will try, but you won't be able to. Because your very breaths will stop when you try.
And I'm waiting for that to happen.
The Diwali dhamaka happened all right ... but not the way I was expecting it!
Now will Khushi agree to marry Shyam? Or will she stay true to herself and her love, and refuse again? Although I want the latter, I am afraid the former will happen, alongside Arnav-La wedding preparations ... and then what? A last minute rescue at the mandap? Very cliched, done to death ... I really do hope the cv's do something new.
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