MJHT and women today

Women of today and their men

Working women today face many challenges – that of managing work and home, retaining a work-life balance, trying to look after their family responsibilities as well as their work ones, home, husband, children, maybe inlaws … If a man helps his wife at home, he’s a wonderful husband, a supportive man, understanding, etc., etc. And if he’s too busy at work to help much, well, he’s busy, isn’t he, he doesn’t have the time, he’s got responsibilities at work, and his wife should understand that he has a commitment to his work and those responsibilities.
And if a woman is busy at work, and neglects her husband, her home, her family – an immediate outcry ensues – how can she be so insensitive, so uncaring, how can she neglect her home for work, doesn’t she realize that her family needs her etc., etc. Her work commitments are thrust aside, they are less important, because for a woman, home and family should come first – always. That is something that we are all conditioned to believe in, even the most ardent of feminists.

Two scenarios in today’s MJHT
Husband wife in the same field – wife does better, goes ahead of her husband. Husband reacts with anger, hurt ego, male pride … she misled me, I wasn’t able to concentrate because of all the problems at home (mostly self-created, but who cares), she’s selfish, only thinks about herself … and the cream – she never told me she was NOT pregnant. Not once does he think, she achieved this because of her own hard work, and it’s great for us as a couple, because the important thing is that one of us got this scholarship. Not once.

It’s not for nothing that most corporate don’t allow husbands and wives to work in the same office. Office romance is fine, but after marriage, they cite ‘conflict of interest’ and usually transfer one spouse to a different department. Some even have a rule that husband and wife can’t work in the same company. Conflict of interest? I think more likely, they don’t want to be held responsible for marital discord.

Husband wife in different fields – husband (boyfriend in this case, but he’s a committed boyfriend, has repeatedly expressed that their relationship is for life, and I’m paying him the compliment of believing that part) has always been supportive, loved to watch her grow, to shine, to be in the forefront. He has supported her every inch of the way – has pushed her and prodded her, because left to herself, she would never have done half the things she did. He has been a rock solid support and source of strength and encouragement. And slowly, she has emerged from her chrysalis, unfurled her wings, started spreading them slowly … and now she’s ready to take her first flight – solo. And because of the kind of person she is, once she has committed, she has fully committed and will give it her best shot – her 100%. Because it’s not only her who’s involved, it’s a hundred other people, whose livelihoods depend on this. And she recognizes this – is ready to enter the real world, the working world, out from the cocoon of sheltered college life – where if you wanted to back out, you always could. Here she isn’t sheltered any more from the real world. She has to grow even more … her next challenge, this time alone.

And suddenly, the guy who’s been her support system, her biggest strength, changes. Second scenario – not ego, this time, but the inner child in every man. He loves to see her shine, true, but not at his expense. Not at the expense of the pampering, the time, the attention, that is his and his alone … As long as she was with him, 24/7, or at least, there for him whenever HE wanted, whenever HE needed her, things were great, things were perfect. Suddenly, she’s not there … she tries, but it’s physically impossible, there are still only 24 hours in a day – earlier, she could spend 12 of those with him, all her waking hours, but now she can’t. And like a child, he throws a tantrum – I want my Chashmish back. I didn’t know all this would happen, but I don’t like it – take it away and bring my Chashmish back. But this is the first step into the real world – you can’t take this away any more, you can’t back out.

Again a typical male attitude – this one is actually more common these days than the first, with the increase in working women. I love you, I believe in you, of course you can work, honey … but not at MY expense. I still want you to do everything that you always did before for me, because I’m not going to change. And home and family is your responsibility – of course I’ll help you as much as I can. After all, I love you and I’m a heck of a supportive guy.

Still haven’t reached the stage of – it’s OUR responsibility and we’ll manage it together – if you can’t, I understand, and if I can’t, you understand.

Samrat has a reason, centered in his lost, lonely childhood … which is why we all feel sorry for him. But he needs to grow beyond that childhood, beyond that hurt. He needs to stop letting that fear take over his life … because till he faces the demons of his past, he can’t look forward into a future. And the only way Gunjan can help is by making him enter that real world with her, shoulder to shoulder, by showing him that whatever changes come into their lives, they can handle them. College days will not last forever. Real life has to start, and they have to be ready for it.

Some people say that she should leave the movie and go back to Sam. Go back to Sam? She never left him – it’s all in his mind. And if she does that, then this scenario will repeat itself every time she tries to enter the real world and he doesn’t keep pace with her. So that’s definitely not the answer. The only answer is for him to join her. As he led her forward in the past, now she has to hold his hand and lead him.

Episode:
Samrat tells the reporter the Sajan love story, at the same time that Neil delivers Sam's message to Gunjan and she tells him the same story.
Reporter tells Sam that he will have tears in his eyes after reading his own story, and out of earshot, promises that Samrat, Gunjan and Neil will all learn their lesson.
Neil wonders why did he deserve this, would it have been better not to have met gunjan at all, than to have met her and know she is someone else's?
Samrat tries to persuade Mayank to call Nupur. He is ready to leave to find Gunjan.
Neil loses his temper at the shoot, Gunjan tries to calm him.

Links

Sam-Gun tell their love story