25/6 - Epi 129 ... Betrayed

Wednesday 25th June

It was bound to happen ... Rudra's instant reaction. From hating his mother, to hating his father ... one extreme to the other. She left ... Rudra hated her for that. Dilsher lied about why she left, allowed him to hate her ... Rudra hated Dilsher for that. Between the two and their troubles, no one seemed to remember the child who got battered and bashed in the middle. Did anybody ever love him at all?

Including Paro ... who seems to be only worried about his parents ... but what about him?! He doesn't want anything to do with his parents ... they both betrayed him ... he only wants Paro. His world begins and ends with her ... but it seems her world isn't the same.

Paro encourages him to ask ... ask his father ... why did he lie? Ask the questions which have been bothering him, eating away at him ... for so long? Ask ... get the answers ... put an end to this uncertainty, this fear of the unknown ... and move on. What hurt him the most was thinking that his loving mother found it so easy to leave him ... well, now he knows ... she didn't find it easy at all. It might not help that shattered child ... but it gives him some peace ... some solace now ... she didn't leave because she didn't love him ... she left despite loving him. She stayed for thirteen years in a private hell because she loved him.
Now he wants to know why his father lied about it ... why he spoiled his life with lies.

Poor Rudra ... he still has so much growing up to do! It's still all about him, his misfortune, his shattered childhood. A child's world is self-centred ... he believes that his parents' world should revolve around him and only him ... it comes as a shock sometimes to realise that they are also individuals in their own right ... that they were husband and wife before they became mother and father, and remain husband and wife, even after they become parents ... he ignores their feelings, if they don't involve him. Rudra is still at that stage emotionally. And today just brought that hurt child back in full force. They had their problems ... but what about him?! Shouldn't they have thought about him at all?! They brought him into the world ... wasn't it their duty to take care of him?

Poor Rudra is shattered all over again. Betrayed by not one, but both parents ... he feels all alone. Except for Paro, of course ... even in this darkness, he knows that she, at least, is with him. Maybe she can make sense out of all this mess.

And so she tries ... sits with him in the dark ... he finds solace in her as always ... one person he now counts on, trusts absolutely ...
She senses his broken state ... looks at the shared doll and laughs ... what if she didn't have the doll that day? What if she had a stone?
No ... she could never hurt him ... even in jest.
What if she had imli?
No ... the imli would have spoiled and rotted by now ... or worse, he would have eaten it, polished it off ... then how would he have remembered her?
Good thing she had that doll. It was fated that she had that doll ... that she would throw it to him ... that it would comfort him when he needed it ...
Some things are just meant to be.

He smiles too, as she meant him to ... at her silly nonsense .. finds comfort in it, in the solace of her smile.

What was that Paro said? There are two ways to face troubles ... either sit and cry over them ... or laugh at them so that they are forced to cry and flee.

And the next step for Paro now, is to reassure that hurt child that his parents' problems were independent of their love for him ... both co-existed in the same space, jostled for space ... and finally the first pushed the second out. Yes, it was unfair on him, very unfair ... sadly, life isn't always fair. But the love was there ... hidden, buried under their other troubles maybe ... but never buried too deep. And if he scratches the surface, pushes away the troubled thoughts, he will find the love.

A good many lessons today for people in troubled marriages ... what NOT to do with your children. If a marriage is in trouble, the first priority for husband and wife should be to ensure that their children are protected from the effects. It's not always easy ... but then, they are the adults, the parents ... it's their responsibility.

Precap ... what on earth???!!! Paro!!!! :((( 

24/6 - Epi 128 ... The Truth is Out

Tuesday 24th June

So the truth is finally out ... about time too!!! Dilsher married a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive woman ... he couldn't deal with his own failures and frustrations in life, and took it out on her. And when he had his accident, things worsened ... Mala took over the business, progressed it, and that hurt his male ego even more. Physically handicapped, now he was not even as smart as his wife ... she was better than him in that respect too. So of course, so much easier to attribute her success to her good looks, point fingers at her character ... because that was easier and more soothing to his male ego than to admit Mala was more capable than him. And when she left, that was the final blow ... he lied to his son, laid all the blame on Mala, and continued to let out his frustration and bitterness on his son for the next fifteen years.
And Mala found a soothing companion in Tejawat, someone who gave her respect and affection, who respected her wishes and her desires ... who seemed to have noble and poetic a soul as she did ... poor Mala, how badly she was mistaken on that last one! But compared to the rough, abusive Dilsher, the suave, smooth-talking loving Tejawat must have been like Prince Charming.

Still doesn't explain why Mala left Rudra for so many years ... agreed, Dilsher didn't let her take him with her ... but did she make any attempts to find him later? Guess that part will come out tomorrow.

The contrast between Paro and Mala was shown up ... Mala was weak, she put up with the abuse for fifteen years ... Paro is strong, she is stubborn, she answered Rudra back from day one ... and she doesn't take crap from him! Now the social worker, Damyanti's words make more sense, given the unpredictable temper that is Rudra's heritage from his dad. Even more glad that Paro has started anger management classes for Rudra, and that he is crazy enough about her to want to control his temper for her sake.
Though I did not understand how Dilsher's change of heart came about with Paro ... as I said earlier, that is a gap the cv's left ... they should have shown him slowly changing after his return. The abrupt change at virtually the first sight of Paro, was a bit difficult to fathom. They did show Dilsher seeing Paro tackle Rudra head on, take him on in battle ... and then shower him with love, despite his bitter tongue ... I feel the bitter angry Rudra, and his lashing out at Paro, reminded Dilsher of himself and Mala, and from a distance, he could see more clearly the mistakes he made with her, his faults mirrored in Rudra's roughness with Paro.

Loved Paro's arguments to Rudra about how he spoke to his mother ... it's all in the perception of events, isn't it? To an outsider, she was a widow, who went off with a strange man, her husband's killer, and then lived in his room ... what does that make her look like? Rudra was quick to negate that ... that's not true, he won't allow anyone to say anything malicious about Paro ... not even Paro herself. But that's what the world would say. And Rudra knows what the truth is, so he can be indignant on Paro's behalf. But he doesn't know the truth in his mother's case, which is why he's saying what he does about her. Dilsher does ... that's why Dilsher fired up in Mala's defense. Interesting parallels drawn there ... well done by Paro ... only Rudra was still not ready to hear it.

But after eavesdropping on Mala's story, I think he finally will. And then his world will shatter all over again ... deserted by his mother, then fed lies by his father ... did either of his parents ever want him or love him at all?

Interesting twist brought out by the cvs today ... while I was expecting Mala's story to justify her leaving, it was brave of the cvs to show a woman not putting up with abuse, and daring to leave her husband ... even more, daring to start a new life with another man. It would have been even better if they showed her happy with the second man, if he hadn't been a scoundrel like Tejawat, of course ... and returning to take her son back.

Still not clear how Mohini interfered between Mala and Dilsher ... or if she did at all. Or was her role limited to prodding Mala to leave, escape an abusive marriage ... and then prodding Dilsher to leave with Rudra before she came back? Dilsher lied to Mohini too, so Mohini did not know that he threw Mala out. 

23/6 - Epi 127 ... Parental Guidance

Monday 23rd June

Rudra and Paro cuddle each other to sleep ... awww!!!
And now he wants Paro to himself ... no pesky momma interference please! Especially since his mommy has become worse than a MIL ... Paro seems more absorbed in her than in him ... which doesn't suit Rudra at all.

Paro handles her MIL and FIL ... Why is she bothered about getting them back together? Concentrate on your husband and sort out his mommy issues, that's fine ... leave the in-laws to sort out their lives on their own. They're adults, they can handle the mess they created ... or they should.

The reason for Mala leaving came out today ... she was an abused wife. Mohini's role in the drama is yet to be disclosed, but Dilsher's role is slowly emerging. No wonder the guilt in his eyes when he looks at Mala. Not only does he know the real reason she left, he also knows that he lied to his son for fifteen years about it. And is still lying ... Rudra's words to Mala were harsh, but Dilsher's slap was uncalled for ... if he is guilty.

Felt for Rudra today ... pleading to Paro to go away with him and give him a respite for a few days. She should say yes ... he needs the breathing space. This problem has been there for fifteen years, it won't go away in fifteen days. In the meantime, their relationship is new and fresh, it needs to be nurtured and strengthened.

But on the other hand, Rudra is doing it again, isn't he? Running away.

For Rudra, now Paro is all-important, his biggest strength, his biggest support. All he needs is Paro, all he wants is her ... the mother he has cried over for fifteen years, seems to be forgotten. Or is she? He was happy hating her ... he got used to living in that hatred ... now she's back, and he's having to re-evaluate his hatred, deal with the confusion between the picture of the runaway, unfeeling villainess mother, and this new loving, affectionate woman his wife loves. And worse, the woman his father claimed to hate all his life, yet today he is sitting and laughing over old memories with her. The two people he loves most in the world, are the two people who seem to be firmly on the side of the mother he hates.
And the KCM he hates seems to be the only one who shares his feelings towards his mother.

Rudra, if nothing else, that one fact should alert you to who is right and who is wrong.

So Rudra's outburst was justified ... Why are they all playing happy families here? And can 'that woman' please tell him when she plans to leave? Because leave she will, and he will be left to pick up the pieces. What will happen then? He can handle Paro, he will comfort her when Mala breaks her heart the way she broke his ... but who will comfort Dilsher? Can 'that woman' make up her mind what she wants? Does she want to be a Ranawat or a Tejawat ... or something else?
That's when Dilsher slapped him.
Yes, Dilsher couldn't stand to hear Rudra insulting Mala ... but it would be a bigger help if he told Rudra the truth about him and Mala. Mala is refusing to do so ... she doesn't want to shatter the trust Rudra has in the only parent he has known for fifteen years.

How long will Mala keep her silence? And how long will the truth be hidden from Rudra?

EDITED ... more or less the same points as above, elaborated.

The episode - good parts ... 

PaRud cuddling in the beginning ... any doubts?  Major sa is beginning to get over his anger more quickly ... he gets angry, but if Paro is there to calm him down, his anger dissipates ... especially if she shows him again and again that her priority is him and only him. He should be no. 1 on her list ... preferable no. 1-10. Everyone else comes at 11 and below. 

The moment he falls below no. 1-10 on her list, he doesn't like it   

Rudra drags Paro to their room and asks her what she has to say ... instead of talking about Mala, she asks him about his letter. Again related to above ... as long as Paro's world revolves around him, he's okay.  That calmed him down visibly ... but then his frustration took over again. 

I liked both Rudra and Paro in that scene ... I could understand Rudra's frustration and upset completely ... his desire to get away, get a breathing space ... empathised with him completely, and was mentally willing Paro to say 'Yes, let's go" ... 

But I also understood Paro's POV ... he's running away again ... the understanding that flashed into her eyes when he spoke about getting away from it all ... till that point she was all excited and blushing about the honeymoon talk ... but at that point she realised it wasn't about him and her ... that elephant in the room was very much there. And so her refusal to go, while it hurt, made sense. 

The so-so parts 

The Mala-Dilsher-Paro first scene ... am not quite sure what Paro wants to achieve by getting Mala and Dilsher comfortable with each other. If she wants to get them back together, I'm not happy ... that's a matter between them, and she should leave it to them. 

If she wants them to get comfortable enough to break their silence and talk to Rudra jointly, as HIS PARENTS ... NOT as a couple ... then I can understand. CVs need to give more clarity on this issue, and NOT make it all about Paro playing happy families, and Mala and Dilsher getting back together. Also if the marriage going sour was because of Mohini playing games, then that part needs to emerge faster ... although I believe a marriage breaks up because of the two people in it, blaming a third party is a cop out. 

Mala and Dilsher are confusing the hell out of Rudra ... especially Dilsher ... the woman he spent the last fifteen years hating, he fed poison to Rudra about how untrustworthy she was ... why has he accepted her back so calmly ... why did he invite her back to the haveli at all? 

I can understand Mala keeping quiet ... after realising what Dilsher has fed Rudra with, she probably doesn't want to spoil his image of the only parent he has known for the last fifteen years ... but in that case, how can she expect Rudra to accept her back, without knowing the full truth? 

So both Mala and Dilsher are coming across as completely confused and clueless ... and poor Rudra is getting more and more confused in the bargain. That's why I feel that if Paro is doing this to get them to talk to Rudra, then I'm okay with her actions. 

Mohini-Rudra ... while it's always good to see Rudra win the battle of words against Mohini, isn't Rudra going to wonder some day why the people he loves, vis Dilsher, Danveer and Paro, are all on Mala's side, and the one person he detests, and knows detests him, are against her? I would really like to see him ponder that one! 

The not good parts 

Dilsher slapping Rudra ... like really??!!!  He spends fifteen years feeding his son lies that his mother walked out for another man, that she was characterless ... now when Rudra repeats his own words back to him, Rudra gets a slap? 

Besides, no parent should slap their grown up child ... under any circumstances! And especially not in front of their spouse. 

20/6 - Epi 126 ... Kissa Kisses Ka

Friday 20th June

Update will come later. Suffice it to say, Rudra finally proved that his 'aath saal har raat' was not just a tall claim ... and Paro showed him that she might be innocent, but she was a quick learner. :)))

Hats off to Sanaya and Ashish, for being thorough professionals. That was probably the hottest scene I've seen on TV ... ever! Amazing work ... amazing acting, expressions, voice modulation ... everything.

And I don't wonder that Rudra wants to leave the madhouse Ranawat haveli and take off with his bride for a honeymoon! If that was a teaser of what lies ahead  

Edited ... 

The episode took off from where it stopped on Thursday, Paro annoyed with Rudra for his constant, quick anger, and refusing to talk to Rudra. So Rudra got the first lesson in his anger management classes ... stop taking it out on biwi, or biwi will get very, very upset. 

He starts the 'biwi manao abhiyan' by setting up a  romantic setting, candles et al ... Paro is confused. And he describes all the times she thought he was angry, but he really wasn't ... when she persuaded him to eat, when she came downstairs in that red saree ... he just talks that way. He wasn't angry when she got drunk and talked non-stop ...
But when she got the mirchi in her eyes, and was hurt ... he was angry ...
Oh yes ... he wasn't angry this morning when she ... she ...
The experienced Rudra falters and fumbles ... he can't get the words out, so he gestures to his cheek ... and the not-so-innocent Paro smiles ... he's talking about her kiss, of course ...
And Rudra glares at her knowing smile ... and she frowns instantly and pouts ... see, you're getting angry again ...
Putting Rudra on the back foot instantly ... 'no, no, I'm not getting angry ... okay, sit down and listen ...'

And he tries again ... 'I know, I get angry ... often ... but it's not with you ... it's anger with myself ...'
'And you take it out on me ...' 
'Yep ... maybe that's wrong on my part ...'
An incredulous, annoyed 'maybe?!' has Rudra fumbling and defensive again ... 'yes, no, I mean, yes, it is wrong ... 
Okay, things are not going the way he thought or wanted ... he's only succeeding in annoying her again every time he speaks ... maybe actions will work better. So he fumbles with the mangalsutra which he's still carrying around in his pocket ... 'shut your eyes.'
Paro is in no mood to be docile and obedient.
'Why?'
'Because I told you to!' 
Nope, wrong answer. And wrong tone. She gets up in a huff.
'I won't. What will you do? Get angry again?'

Oops, this is not working either! Manaoing angry biwi is not easy ... does she have such a tough time every time he gets angry?
'No, no ... I'm not getting angry ... at least, I'll try not to ...' 
Baravo, Rudra ... step one in anger management passed. 

Now for step two ... move on to pleasant things.
Like the mangalsutra he fishes out from his pocket.
Paro peeks curiously to see what he's holding ... and her face changes instantly as she sees the black beads. The necklace which means so much to her ... the necklace she knew he had brought for her ... but still hadn't given ... the necklace she was waiting patiently for, knowing that giving it to her was a big step for him to take ... waiting for him to reach that place, when he was ready ...
'This ...' She's confused, wondering ... hoping ...
'You said to bhabhisa ...' 
She's shocked.
'You were listening to us?!'
Shh ... that's not the point he's making! The point it ... 'you said something about the right time. So ... this ... is it.'  Awkwardly ... hesitantly ... can she please understand?
She looks around. Nope, she's not going to make it easy for him. She wants the words.
'How is this the right time?'

And he finally finds the right words ... no practiced speech, no elaborate confession ... just straight from the heart ... he hurt her, that red thread around her neck reminds him of how much and how often ... and he can't bear to see it now ...
As he reaches around her neck to untie it ... and she closes her eyes at his nearness ... his touch ...

'The forced wedding, the hate filled vows ... everything I did to you ...' 
She looks straight at him, her eyes clear, shining ... with forgiveness and love ...
'Those vows ... of which you did not fulfill a single one.' 
She knows ... she always knew ... that he could never hurt her. Maybe with words .... but with nothing else. Those hate filled vows were empty promises ... he didn't carry out a single one.

'I couldn't. I didn't want to.' 

And he finds it so easy to say it, admit it now ... in the face of her generous abundant forgiveness ... the words flow more easily now ... their path eased by the warmth of her love radiating in her eyes, bathing him with its glow ...
'I don't know about love, about marriage and its seven vows ... and I don't care either. But today I can make you a single promise.' 

And he takes the mangal sutra and puts it around her neck ...
Mangalam bhagwan Vishnu, mangalam Garudadwja
Mangalam kundarikaksha mangalaya dhanohari 

A simple vow ... which says it all really.
'You ... me ... hamesha.'

(Thank you, BG music man, for playing these shlokas for this scene!!!)
Whenever I've seen a hate marriage on tv, I've wanted a private re-marriage between the couple ... this was exactly what I wanted. Rudra has never shied away from accepting Paro as his wife in front of the world, ever since the hate marriage, and despite his hate vows. And now that he has acknowledged his feelings, it was appropriate and beautiful, that he told her so in private, just between the two of them.

And her closed eyes, the emotion in her face, the single tear that escapes her eye ... shows just how much this means to her. She could ignore his vows, his harsh words ... she saw that he didn't mean them. But this ... this re-affirmation of his love ... this single vow ... this simple act of putting a chain of black beads around her neck gently and lovingly ... this meant the world to her.

He's baffled to see her face ... why are you crying?! Don't ...

She smiles through her tears ... and what will you do? Get angry again?
Because she knows now, his anger is his only way of reacting ... a deep rooted defense mechanism ... against further hurt.

But no more. Because he doesn't need defense from these feelings ... he doesn't need to hide them ... he can express them without fear of hurt or rebuff.
So, no ... he won't get angry ... Instead he comes closer, cradles her face ... bends his head ...
Only to be stymied as she pushes him away gently ... a rebuff? But she loves him, he loves her ... besides she was the one who kissed him in the morning, so why can't he ...?!

Because Paro, beautifully secure now, in her love, in her position as his wife ... is in the mood for some teasing. Not too often that Major Rudra is ready to do anything she demands! So she makes the most of the opportunity ... before he gets his kiss, she wants him to prove how much he loves her by doing something dramatic. In Jaipur he taught her a foreign dance, in Mumbai he showed her the sea ... what can he do now?

Rudra not too sure how to react to this one. 'So what does she want?!'
She smiles naughtily ... to his deep impatience and chagrin ... he doesn't dare to lose his temper again either ... because biwi has shown an alarming tendency to fly off the handle and sulk if he does. So Rudra tries desperately to control his anger again ... 'no, no, I'm not getting angry ... this is me, the normal me ... okay, what do you want? I'm giving you some time ... think about it ..'

And he waits, with unconcealed impatience ... five seconds later ... 'are you done thinking yet?' 

She's not really ... but okay ... she wants snow. Like she saw in the movies once.

'Is your tau sitting in the heavens that he can produce snow here at a moment's notice?!'

But she doesn't need the real thing. She's happy with cotton from a pillow ... it looks enough like the movies for her ...
And seeing her unfettered, childlike joy ... her ability to find happiness in the smallest things ... reminds him anew of why he loves this mad, adorable woman so much ... and he can't wait any more ... he pulls her to him ... and her smile, her childlike joy with the snow fades away, to be replaced by the warmth of a woman in love ... a woman who wants her man ...
Rudra gets his kiss. 

And he wants another ... but she pushes away with a soft smile ... and runs ... secure in the knowledge that he will follow ... which he does ... because this was not a rebuff ... this is foreplay ...
He catches her against a pillar, laughing, breathless ...
'Why are you laughing?' No anger at all ... if she can tease, so can he ...
'Because I know what's in your heart ...' 
'What ...?'
A stray tendril of hair caresses her lip ... and he very gently lifts a hand to stroke it away ... and Paro loses her train of thought instantly ... all laughter dying away. His knowing smile as he looks at her flushed face shows that he knows exactly why she's lost her voice ... so he makes sure she doesn't find it in a hurry ... by dropping his hand to caress her waist ... all the while nodding at her encouragingly ... 'tell me ... you were saying?'

How can she speak if he touches her like that?! All coherent thought gone ... while he wickedly teases her more ... 'lost your voice?!'
She shuts her eyes and pushes him away with supreme effort ... 'you care for me. You love me too ...' 

Bravo, Paro ... first woman to confess her love to her man, and first one to confess his love to her too! Saved Rudra the effort!

So he concentrates on showing her that she's absolutely right about his feelings ... by closing the distance she created ...
She tries to tell him she can't speak if he gets too close ... her voice goes kuchar muchar ...
He knows.
'That's why you need to learn to stay quiet sometimes ...' 
He looks at her eyes, closed again ... ready for his kiss, but nervous ... and he gently kisses her eyes instead ... giving her the space she needs to get used to this new feeling ...
She's ready ...she wants this as much as he does ... and she goes up on her toes to kiss his forehead, to bathe him with her love ... this time her teasing 'daadhi chubhti hai' draws only a knowing smile from him ... and he bends to kiss her again ...

Only to be interrupted by a clatter ...
Paro startled, runs to check ... Maasa and her water jug ...
Maasa wonders why Paro's hair has fluff on it ... Paro prevaricates and leaves quickly ...

Rudra is waiting for his wife ... Paro has no objections, but his mother is awake ...
And the mention enough to spoil his mood instantly ...   much to Paro's upset.

No wonder Rudra wants to take his wife away on honeymoon ... 

19/6 - Epi 125 ... Kissa Kheer Ka

Thursday 19th June

Rudra mulls over the mangalsutra ... and mulls over it some more.

Rudy, it's just a necklace ... put in on her neck, and be done with it!  

Laila calls, he gives her another cut ... Laila is going to lose her patience soon ... and love, when it turns into hatred, can be dangerous. Especially in the hands of a fiery woman. 

Mala finally breaks her silence ... to tell Dilsher that she has come back only for her son.
Unspoken ... not for him.
He seems to accept that. Does't like it, but accepts it.
Yet he has kept her mangalsutra all these years.
And Mala asks him to help her reach out to her son ... because a child should not hate the mother who gave birth to him. But she doesn't seem in any hurry to re-kindle their own relationship.

Mala wants to reach out to Rudra ... but the grown up man is someone she doesn't recognise any more. Has he really changed so much? 

Sumer seems to be losing patience with Mohini ... and losing respect for her too.

Mala's kheer - and Mohini's added poison. Rudra gave it back to Mohini satisfactorily ... everyone else seems to be unable to counter her poisonous tongue ... maybe out of guilt, for Dilsher, Danveer and Mala ... and simple respect for elders, for the younger lot. Rudra alone isn't silent ... as he hasn't been taught to respect his elders, and hasn't had much reason to respect the ones in his life.
(I never understand how people can recognise who made a dish by its taste alone ... what are recipe books for?!)

Sumer banna was hilarious ... gobbling down his share of kheer, before his mom stepped in to take away his simple pleasures in life!

Paro is happy Rudra defended Mala ... he spoils her happiness by telling her he only did it to annoy KCM.

Paro seems to be reaching the end of her inexhaustible patience ... I am glad. Rudra seems to use her as a punching bag for his own frustrations, how long can a girl take it? And whether he acknowledges it or not, whether he likes it or not ... reaching out to his mother, is for him ... not for her.

Though I feel Paro could back off a bit ... she really didn't need to say anything after he defended his mother. She could leave him to think over what he did on his own ... the more she tells him that he cares for Mala, the more he will deny his own feelings. Rudra is a bit perverse that way. Getting him to acknowledge his feelings for Paro in itself took an age, when the hatred was only a few months old, and was baseless. Getting him to acknowledge his feelings for his mother will take him a few years. A few dozen years. Maybe a few hundred.
On second thoughts, I do understand why Paro is pushing this !

The benefit of Paro throwing a fit of the sulks, is that Rudy boy really can't take it ... he can't stand Paro backing away from him ... not for a moment. So he will belatedly put that mangalsutra on her after all. And we will get a good Parud scene to end the week.

And sone pe suhaga ... it seems like the BG music guy went on holiday and we will get Mangalam Bhagwan Vishnu ... not deem tana 

18/6 - Epi 124 ... Re-establishing Relationships

Wednesday 18th June

What He Needs, What She Wants
What Rudra needs ... he needs to deal with his mother issues, which have been dragging for the last fifteen years, coloring his life, his relationships ... he needs to emerge from the hate-filled clouds which obscure his vision of the past ... he needs to make peace with his abandonment issues, his feelings of being unworthy, unloved ... he needs to move on.
What Paro wants ... she wants that mangalsutra ... as a validation of her position as his wife, to the world, to wipe out the memories of the hate-filled marriage, and replace them with a more meaningful symbol of the relationship it has now become.
For Paro ... the first is more important, so she deals with that first ... sometimes with thoughtful care, sometimes with as much panache as a bull in a china shop. He's lived with the burden for fifteen years, she wants it gone now ... as of this instant. It's essential for his happiness. So her immediate concern is to give him what he needs.
Her mangalsutra ... that can wait ... it's only for her own happiness ... he brought it for her, he already told her that. He will give it to her when he's ready.
So she pushes and pushes Rudra for the former ... but doesn't say a word about the latter.

That says it all about Paro. She puts Rudra first ... his happiness, his well-being. It's all about him.

And Rudra probably, belatedly started to realise that ... as his shame-faced guilty looks during the overheard Maithili-Paro conversation indicated.

What She Needs, What He Wants 
What Paro needs ... is constant reassurance of her place in Rudra's life, her importance for him, her feeling of belonging.
And Rudra gives it to her ... more and more often now. Telling her he can't live without her love, that he helps him breathe, that he needs her by his side to handle the most difficult moments of his life ... even that he brought Mala back only for her sake ... though that's stretching the truth a bit, but that's his conscious reason, the only one he will acknowledge for now.
What Rudra wants ... is to live with his wife in peace and happiness, the happiness and love she bathes him with ... the feeling of being worthy of love that she brings to him. He wants to move out of the shadows of his past ... but he's not quite sure how to. The only thing he knows is that with Paro in his life, happiness doesn't seem like an elusive fairy tale any more, it seems to be within his grasp. And one thing he's sure of is that his happiness lies with Paro. It lies in her smile, in her happiness. So he tries ... gruffly, roughly ... unwillingly at times ... to make her happy. Because slowly he's beginning to realise, that her happiness lies in making him happy ... even if the way she goes about it, sometimes infuriates him!


Paro giving up her room for Mala ... *head desk* but so typically Paro! Since Mohini has announced the two families will live separately, and since Mala obviously cannot go into Dilsher's room ... or rather, Paro can't take that decision, there was not much choice.
Dia's note ... what happened to the guest room where Laila stayed? Or where the two social worker ladies stayed? Did it disapparate into thin air? Or is this only because the cvs need to delay the big C? Probably the last! :)))

Paro's optimism ... another *head desk* moment ... does Paro really think that getting everybody under one roof is enough for them to become one big happy family?! While her intentions are good, she needs to confine herself to repairing the damage between Rudra and Mala. The relationship between Dilsher and Mala is none of her business ... nor is the one between Mala and Mohini. They're adults, let them sort it out themselves.

Just realised I didn't mention the kiss at all !!!
The Kiss ... a thanks from Paro ... to Rudra for giving her what she needs ... that reassurance that she is important for him ... that he did something he didn't want to (or so he says) only for her sake, to make her happy.
Why was Rudra so pole-axed by the kiss? More and more, I begin to doubt his 'eight years every night' claims!!! :)) 

17/6 - Epi 123 ... Time To Stop Running

Tuesday 17th June

Yesterday Sumer told Mohini  ... decide whether you're staying or going .. today Paro told Mala the same thing ... decide about coming back, and this time, come back only if you're not going to run away again. You hurt Rudra enough once, don't do it again and again.

Mala made some cryptic remarks about it taking two people to make a marriage work ... but Paro was unexpectedly firm today, basically told her to stop making excuses and get her act together.

Also liked the firm Paro earlier in the episode, who told Rudra he was running away again ... he needed to stop. Since cajoling and pleading hasn't worked, Paro decided to act firm nanny, lock both mother and son into a single room ... or single car ... and force them to talk it out. She's had enough ... both of them need to stop running.

The episode - of course Rudra traced Mala ... or rather, got his BSD force to trace her ... along with some rather telling flashbacks of Paro telling him to stop running ... and Mala telling young Rudra she could never be angry with him ...
So he finds Mala ... and then hunts for Paro ... takes her to the place ... and tells her to go with him ... because he can't do this alone.
That was sweet ... poignant, touching and heartwarming ... how far Rudra and Paro have come ... she is his strength, and he has no qualms saying it ... no hesitation admitting it.
And as always, he is her strength ... emboldened by his complete trust in her, Paro takes the bull by the horns, and pushes Laila aside, to talk to Mala. To ask the questions Rudra has bottled up inside him, has been aching to ask ... and not daring to. Today Paro forgot it wasn't her right or her place to ask Mala those questions ... Rudra needed those answers, and she was going to make sure he got them. Enough of being Mrs Nice Bahu ... today she was only Mrs Angry Rudra.

Laila is furious at being sidelined ... she tries again to get into Rudra's good books, by telling him how badly his mother was being treated, and how she saved her. Rudra isn't interested. All he's interested in is Paro ... he's sure his mother won't come back ... wait, she's coming back? Okay, even if she comes back, he's sure she'll only run away again.

But she doesn't. She actually tries to talk ... she cuts short Paro's cheerful, determined blabbering, to finally get to the point ... and tries to tell Rudra some part of the truth ...  yes, she ran away, but she wanted to take him with her ... she called Danveer everyday to ask about him ...

Rudra has heard enough.
No, you haven't, Rudra ... not nearly enough, I'm guessing.

Stretching the track now ... Mala running away, Paro hunting for her, Rudra finding her, PaRud going to get her again ... Mala comes back ... when is she going to talk?! 
Finally she started ... will she get the whole story out this time? 

From a raging Rudra, how did we reach a sulking Rudra and grateful Paro, don't know ... don't care. Sherni Paro ... kisses her man. Whattay precap!!!
Okay, mommy is home ... so Paro can stop being mom ... and can become wife instead. :)))