Mayank's hope and Gunjan's fear

6th August

Mayank tells Gunjan that Nups is alive. At first G is overjoyed, but then she hears Mayank's whole story ... he hasn't actually seen Nupur, just someone who he felt was her. And then Gunjan's doubts surface - how can it be Nupur? How could Nupur stay away from them all for three years? From Mayank, whom she loved, from Gunjan, her sister who was more like her daughter ... how could Nupur stay away from them? It cannot be Nupur. Mayank is mistaken.
Dia tells Samrat her fears - is Mayank building his hopes too high? Is that girl really Nupur? She can't be sure.
Mayank tells Gunjan, that girl has to be Nupur. I felt her. Everything in the house reminded me of her. That girl IS Nupur ...
Gunjan has had enough. He raised her hopes by telling her Nupur was alive ... but it's only his feelings? How can it be that HER Di, who couldn't live without her for 3 minutes, has stayed away for three years? Who defied her Bauji to marry Mayanak, has stayed away from him for so long? No, it cannot be her sister. It IS NOT her sister. Don't raise my hopes ... because I've lost my sister once already, I cannot go through the pain of losing her again.
But Mayank is not ready to listen. It was fate they lost Nupur, it's fate they're finding her again. He WILL believe it.

Sam, Dia, Gunjan, Mayank. Three doubters, but one believer. Whose faith in his love is unshaken - and in truth, he does come across as being a little unhinged. Mayank treis to convince Samrat ... gets angry ... you both don't understand what it's like to lose your love ... oh yes, they do. He says, you both don't value what you have ... that one hits home.
But they still to tell him he could be mistaken ... and he blows up, tells them you don't love her the way I do, don't call my feelings a 'vehem'.

SG left alone, G tries to leave, Samrat tells her,, maybe we should support Mayank. Gunjan blows up at him also ... Nupur is dead! I saw her clothes, her mangalsutra, I was the one who had to deal with that, I've spent three years trying to forget that, I cannot go through losing her again. We need to explain to Mayank that this is a dream, it is impossible.
Dia returns, talks about her signs, Samrat says it might be true. Gunjan angry again, whatever you all say or want, Di is not coming back.
Sam tries to stop her, she says, whatever anyone may think, I still love my Di a lot.
He says, so let's support Mayank, even if it's an illusion.
She says ... when such illusions shatter, they cause agony. Sam says, so when Mayank's illusion breaks, won't you want to be there to help him pick up the pieces?
And she has no answer. She has to at least pretend to hope again. For Mayank, if no one else.

Next morning in college, Sam tells Mayank they will help him. So do Gunjan and Dia. Mayank overjoyed, starts babbling about scolding Nupur when she comes back, Dia and Gunjan getting more and more worried about his mental stability. Mayank tells Gunjan they will scold Nupur together ... Gunjan can't take it anymore. She doesn't even want to think this could be true, because if it's not, the hurt will be even worse this time around. Not to have hope is easier than to hope, only for those hopes to be dashed. And she can't go through the pain of that loss again.

Not to mention, Gunjan is emotionally at her most vulnerable. After years of running away from her feelings. she finally had to face them, that she still desperately loved the person responsible for her sister's death. And she hated herself for that ... so much that she had finally sent that person away from her for good. For the last break with Samrat had been made by him, not by her. All her own attempts to walk away from him had failed, but he had walked away without looking back. And as he walked away, she knew that she had been unfair, that she had wounded him very deeply, she saw his pain, his hurt at her behaviour, her words, and that had killed her again. One loss, her sister. The second loss, Samrat, when she left him without a word after the accident. And last night, she had lost him again. And this time, he had left her. And she realised how much she loved him, needed him. Her lover, her best friend. Her soulmate. he had walked away not because she didn't love him - she did. But because HE loved her too much to make her live with her own self-loathing. So she hates herself, for loving Samrat, and for hurting him. She just lost him again ... and the reason for that loss, the only justification for her behaviour ... that is gone?!

So she runs to hide herself. And Samrat follows her.
Girls' loo, the scene of many of their meetings. But this time, only as friends, as a support. She says she can't take it any more, he says she has to be strong for Mayank. She says, i've lost di, i can't lose Mayank, he'll lose his balance, if this is false. Samrat says, so we have to be there for him. We have to show him we do believe him.
So what do I do???!!!
He says, if one's love is true, then the will to find that love becomes even stronger. And then he realises what he's saying, that it could apply to them as well. So he changes it to a general statement - for all of us. So we need to support him.
he turns to leave.
She holds his hand.
"And if what Mayank is thinking, is not true, then?"
And its her own fear showing ... if I allow myself to believe and it's not true, then? Then I will break again.
He holds both her hands, says, 'then I'll be there for Mayank.'
And for you. As your friend.
Another reassuring squeeze of her hands, again he turns to leave.

And she holds his hands again and then throws her arms around him. For comfort. For reassurance. For support.
He pats her head gently. Yes, he's there for support and comfort, for reassurance, all those things. Just not for love.
And Ash stares at them in shock.

One thing that bothered me ... when all the talk of being there for friends was going on for Mayank, why didn't either Mayank or Gunjan remember that they had abandoned Samrat when he needed his friends too? Why is no one registering his hurt? And is Gunjan going to ever see his hurt?
The good thing is, Samrat has definitely withdrawn from Gunjan. So she will feel his loss now, more so now when Nups is coming back. That she lost her sister through an accident, but Samrat through her own stubbornness and her conflicting emotions.

Links
episode
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4

Naveen's links
Sam tells Gunjan they should support Mayank (/working?)
Sam comforts Gunjan