Words that pierce like swords

9th Mar

"Main ek baar iss haadse mein bahut kuch kho chuki hun. Mujhe us kami ka ehsaas baar baar mat dilao."

Her heartbreak on Valentine's night did what so much else had failed to do. Crush that inner core of strength. Rose day, Sheena, even the unheard confession to Samrat of her love ... that strength had kept her going all through. When Samrat seemed to repulse her love, she broke momentarily and fled back to Morena, but even then was able to face him with head held high, with her dignity intact. And then he confessed his love, and then proceeded to show it, to her, in front of all, wearing his heart on his sleeve, a kiss in front of all the college, romance galore, a date that stole her breath away and left her heart beating with emotions and feelings she ahd never felt before ... and then, tantalising promises of what was to come on the most romantic night of all, a night not only meant for all lovers, but a night which was special for them, because a year ago, that night had brought them together in a bond which they had then called friendship, but now knew was love, had always been love, a meeting of minds, hearts and souls.
But this Valentine's night was different. Last year brought two friends together, this year tore two lovers apart. And before she could even beging to heal her broken heart and shattered dreams, before she could gather those shreds of dignity and strength around her again, what she took for granted was taken from her ... her ability to stand tall, her ability to walk. A double blow, would this break her spirit?
On the surface, no. She faced the loss of her legs bravely, told her heartbroken sister not to pity her, but to love her, and faced her friends with a smile on her face, her tears hidden deep inside. There was one person she could have shown them to, but that person was no longer hers. He didn't want to be. Not in the way she had dreamed, had hoped, as her partner, her companion, her other half in their journey through life.
He tried to tell her differently. To show her that he was with her anyway, that he loved her as much as he did before. And when he heard that she COULD walk, he determined that she WOULD. For him, for their love, for them.
Then why does she feel the need to push him away? Because she's scared? She's still hurting? She doesn't know still where she stands with him? Or because she needs reassurance - in words as well as in deeds, that he's there, that after everything she's lost, she hasn't lost him. And that she's the same for him that she always was, she keeps pushing him away, but she wants so badly for him to come back, to SHOW her that he won't be pushed, that he's there always, she's been shattered once, she NEEDS that, she needs him to help her walk but also to tell her that it doesn't matter, if it takes a lifetime of trying, so be it ... because they HAVE a lifetime together, they have all the time in the world. It doesn't have to be today, tomorrow, next week ... he's there with her.

and he is going to try again ... and again ... because he loves her. It's as simple as that. He loves her, his life revolves around her, her smile, her happiness ... that's all he wants ...
"Kuch uski suno, kuch apni kaho, yuhi baaton baaton mein zindagi nikal jaye ..."
That's them, that's Sajan - just being with each other, talking to each other, listening to each other - they could spend a lifetime doing that. That's their world, their everything - if that is there, everything is there, if it's not, there's emptiness.

links SG - Sajan and Sam