Sajan and phone convo

30th july

I always loved Sajan and their phone conversations. Living proof that it's not physical closeness that makes love scenes. It's mental closeness, a closeness of minds, hearts and the spirit. And the cv's definitely feel the same way about Sajan ... their phone conversations have been one of the highlights of their story.

So another one. After yesterday's episode, when Samrat for the first time, walked away from Gunjan, his playful, teasing mask dropped in his worry whether he was doing the right thing or not, for her, for her happiness, which is the only thing which matters to him. Is his coming close to her giving her more pain? That's not what he wanted - he wanted her to be happy again, to learn to live life with her loss, not to give her more sorrow. So he walked away from her yesterday. For the first time. Leaving her lost in thought ... because he dropped his mask, and she was confused at the pain on the face behind it. Why was he behaving so differently? She had let down her guard, given way to her emotions, because she could ... she had felt that with him, she could ... never with anyone else, only with him she could let her tears flow, even if they were for two fictional characters. For the moment, she forgot the parallels she had seen with their own story ... she had become emotional - had that disturbed him? Had he not liked that? Why had he suddenly changed?
She had to ask him. But what should she ask? Are you all right? He must be all right - stupid question. But still ...

And there, Samrat wonders again and again ... am I doing the right thing? Does she think I'm doing all this only to come closer to her? That I'm deceiving her again? I want her to be happy again, to smile again ... the way she was before the accident, but in trying to make that happen, am I doing something different? Are the memories so painful that she would be better off without them? Should I ask her? Should I talk to her?

Both hesitate. Then both call ... at the same time. Disconnect. Look at their phones in frustration. Then he, always more impulsive, calls again. Just as she is going to ... and he throws her off gear completely.

Chashmish?
nahin ... haan, Chashmish ... nahin, Gunjan

For once, he doesn't tease her on that. No mood for teasing. Just reaching out. Are you all right? That's all they want to know ... both of them.
Kya kar rahi ho?
I was going to call you ... no, should she say that? He was already upset with her ...
I was cooking ...
He's surprised. 'At this time? It's 11 pm.'
What is she saying? Why can't she just ask him straight off? Are you all right?

Maybe he shouldn't have called. She doesn't like it.
She starts off again, she will ask him directly. What's there to think so much? 'Samrat ...'
Too late.
"I know, I'm sorry, It's late. We'll talk tomorrow."
'No, wait ... one minute ...'

But he's disconnected. He didn't want to talk to her? Why?

Sajan phone convo
naveen's link
SaJan phone

Next morning, both are still lost in thoughts of each other.
She - what am I doing? Why am I unable to face my feelings? Am I running away from them?
He - I wanted her to be happy. Am I making her happy? Or am I making her unhappy again?
She - Am I getting close to him again?
He - Is my dream of wanting her back in my life, wrong?
Sajan lost in thought
Naveen's link lost in thought