Chashmish, meri Chashmish

20th July - Sajan scene

Chshmish, meri chashmish
chashmish, meri chashmish

So Gunjan, after all the attempts by the others to stop her from resigning have failed, makes her way furiously to find Samrat. But he finds her first. Did he know her resolve wouldn't be shaken by anyone? By anyone else, that is ... anyone else but him. Because he alone knows her so well to know how to push her, cajole her ... even seduce her ...

So Gunjan finds herself suddenly pulled into the music room, and by the time she whirls around, file dropping, Samrat is firmly locking the door. That itself is enough to send her senses scattering ...
"Yeh kya mazaak hai, Samrat?"
He turns from locking the door, and she forgets what she was saying as he starts walking towards her slowly ... he walks forward, she backs away, eyes falling from his, which are fixed in her, but she can't meet them. So she looks around the silent room nervously, not daring to look at him, till he says,

"Tumhari aankhen jise dhoond rahi hain, voh tumhare saamne hai, Chashmish."
And he moves forward again.

He's very close now, too close for comfort. She backs again, saying, much more nervously, weakly, "Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Samrat, ruk jao."

He doesn't stop. Did she really expect him to? With that purposeful look in his eyes, did she think her feeble words and even feebler tone would stop him? But why couldn't she be more assertive, more firm? Why was her breathing quickening, her heartbeats going wild with that look in his eyes? She was over him. Wasn't she?

One more try.
"Yeh kya badtameezi hai? Dekho ..."
Too late. The wall is behind her, Samrat in front. Nowhere to run and hide ... she tries, but he blocks her with one hand.

"Tumhare itne paas aane ke baad, main tumhe khud se door nahin jaane dunga."
No, he's not going to let her go so easily this time round.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Really, Gunjan? You don't know? How close you both were at one time ...
No, she doesn't want to remember ... or rather, she wants to forget, has been trying desperately to forget for the last three years ...
And she tries again, mustering up the courage from somewhere to look straight at him as he is looking at her ...
"Ab main voh Gunjan nahin rahi, jo tumse pyaar ..."
It was a mistake to look into his eyes. A big mistake. The way he's looking at her ... She falters, tries again.
"Jo nazdeekiyan haamre beech thi, voh vaqt ke saath khatam ho chuki hain. Ab na vo vaqt vapas aayega, aur na vo Gunjan."
And she knocks his arm down and starts to leave.
"Chashmish."
She stops again.
"Gunjan." Looking at him firmly, "Gunjan Bhushan."
And his face changes, and she does leave. Only to be stopped by his hand holding her, the way he stopped her so many times before. So many times ... when she stopped gladly for him ...
No. She will NOT stop this time. Angry now, she twists her hand out of his grasp.
"Mera haath chhodo, Samrat."
He doesn't.
"Maine kaha, mera haath chhodo. Samrat!!!"
Whirls around, He leaves her hand, and her bangle drops.
She drops to the floor to pick it up, he's there too, his hand coming over hers. She withdraws her hand quickly, she doesn't want that touch ... and stands.
He pauses, picks up the bangle ... and a small smile is on his face. He stands too. She holds out her hand, angry still.
"Meri choodi vapas do."
He backs slowly to the wall, holding out her bangle tantalizingly, challengingly.
"Aakar vapas le lo." ... if you dare.

She glares at him ... how she hates him! "Mere paas tumhare khel ke liye time nahin hai. Chhodi vapas karo, aur mujhe jaane do."
He holds it up, teasing her, prickling her.
"Choodi le lo ... aur chali jao." Implied ... who's stopping you?

She stares again. what is he up to? Steps forward, still annoyed and holds out her hand to take her bangle. He withdraws his hand just as she reaches out. Eyes steady on her, tone as steady.
"Aur paas."
Now she's nervous. angry still, but also nervous. Steps forward again, hand out to snatch ... but he's too quick ... again.
"Aur paas."
Holds it up, still teasing her, with that look in his eyes. One more time, she plucks up the courage, again he's too quick.
"Aur paas."
How much more? She's far too close already for comfort. Her comfort. He's looking as comfortable as he could be, cool, smiling ...
"Aur paas."
And now he's not smiling any more, his voice has dropped a couple of notches, and he's not taking his eyes off hers. She swallows ... she's in danger zone already and she knows it. No way is she going closer.
"Dekho, Samrat ..."

Before she can say more, she's whirled around by his arms, against the wall, almost into his arms, far, far too close for her liking. She stares back at him, and they both know what's happening. This was exactly why she was running ... but now she can't seem to move, even if she wanted to ... which she doesn't ...
And then he raises one hand and strokes it very gently down the side of her face, stroking the hair away ...
"zindagi do pal ki ..." an unforgettable night ...
No, she can't move. Her eyes fall, her heart racing, breathing fast, shallow ...
And he knows her fight is gone ...
He lifts her hand to his lips gently, she pulls it back at the first touch, but it's still in his hand ... as he slowly, oh so slowly ... slides her bangle back on ...eyes never leaving hers, holding hers locked to his ... as she looks down as he slides the bangle on ... as he had put the pendant round her neck, Nupur's wedding chunni on her head ...
And she looks back at him, naked love and longing on her face, her hand firmly in his, as he kisses it again, and this time she doesn't even try to pull it away. She can't. All she can do is look at him, helpless to stop her feelings from showing on her face and in her eyes, feelings he could always read.
"Whatever you say, Chashmish, your eyes speak a different language." His voice soft, husky, almost a whisper.
"Wrong, Samrat. Your mistake. I have only hate for you now. You don't know me. Everything has changed, and with it ... me."
He doesn't seem to listen. Or if he did, he pays her no attention. He kisses her forehead oh so gently.
Zindagi ... do pal ki ...
She closes her eyes helplessly at that familiar caress.
"Lies. Today too, when you stare out the window, it's me you're waiting for."
"No." Is that her voice? So soft, trembling? As though she's trying desperately to convince herself ... and failing miserably.
Another kiss. This time on one cheek. She can't move, can't breathe, can't think. Not when he looks at her like that, kisses her like that. Zindagi ...
"Aaj bhi, jab tum gaati ho, tum jaanti ho kahin na kahin main tumhe sun raha hun."
"Nahin." Even softer than the first, not a statement, but a plea ... you're wrong, please be wrong.
Another kiss, on the other cheek. Zindagi ...
he lifts his head, raises his hand to stroke her hair again.
"In these three years, you've missed me as much as I've missed you."
"Nahin ..." she's begging him now, please stop ...don't go on. I need to hate you.
Maybe not, he concedes, because he's missed her so much more.
And he pushes her glasses and flicks her nose in the gentlest of flicks.
"Chashmish. Meri Chashmish." Oh, yes, she's his. And as they gaze lost into each other's eyes, they both know it again.

And then the flashbacks come back .. of the accident .. no, she hates him now, for taking away Nupur ... from somewhere she gets the strength and pushes him away and tries to leave ... only to be stopped by his hand again.
"I'm going."
Can I ask why?
No. Because you;re no one to me now.
I'm not? But the college is, your students are, Why are you leaving them for me?
Because I can't stay where you are.
After being so close to you, you think I'll let you go?
I was never close to you. It was all deceit.
And now she's caught - another deceit is breaking your contract before 6 months.
She doesn't care. So the last throw of the dice.
You're going because you're scared - that you'll in love with me again. That you still love me.
A long pause.
I don't.
Then look into my eyes and say it.
She can't. She leaves silently, and almost runs out of the room. He follows her ... if she still loves him, she'll turn around.
She does.
Thanks, God