1st Jan 2010
oh boy oh boy oh boy ...!!!! Still reeling from Sajanmania ... in an ocean of crappiness, how do they breathe life and freshness and poetry into every frame they come in??? Do they have separate dialogue writers for themselves? Do they write their dialogues on their own? HOW have they managed to keep their Sajanness intact where ALL the others have just sunk into oblivion?
SRK Kajol are a fabulous couple because they emote with their eyes. SG/Monaya are following strongly in their footsteps - and today was a prime example! The eyes spoke ... especially Gunjan, and the emotions in the voices ... perrrrfect!
Right from the second Samrat opened the door to instantly lock his eyes on Gunjan, the pain, the question in her eyes - are you still angry with me? his eyes reflect the pain in hers because whatever happens, however angry he is with her, he can't see her in pain, it's equally painful for him and anyway, who else is he going to share it with? But he's still not quite ready to forgive ...
Then the siblings disappear (for once!!!!) and he sees the tears in her eyes as she looks at him again, and that's kind of that for him ...
And oh, the BG music is fabulous ... soft, soothing with more than a hint of pathos as Gunjan comes in, still wondering what to say, what to do, because she can't bear the distance any more now they're face to face
And then she turns to face him and he's just looking at her, they look away then back ... and that's it. She says Samrat, her voice breaking (HOW does Sanaya do this every time - tears in her voice as though she's trying her best to control herself - never a dramatic breakdown or hysterical sobbing) ... and he's done for. Holds out his arms, she runs into them, he says one word - no, not sorry, just 'Chashmish' and she lets her feelings out - don't ever get angry with me, don't ever stop talking to me and don't, don't ever call me Gunjan again. The simplest of dialogues, straight from the heart, everything that hurt her, she says it straight out.
And so does he - I trusted you more than myself, that's why you hurt me so much more than Suhani ... and she counters him with how he hurt her, and they're back to sharing everything, no holds barred.
Then they hold hands - signature Sajan - friendship and love, and make their promises all over again ... and teasing Samrat is back - I'll never think about any other girl again - while she's wondering, he adds 'especially not that Gunjan' ...
Then he asks for his kiss again, teasing again, but teasing fades as she comes closer ... oh shit, not again "Chashmish" in that low, husky voice (only this time his throat wasn't bad, but the "Chashmish" was as sexy as ever) - and the part which stole my heart - he turns his face just as she comes close, so she kisses his cheek, and he smiles ...
And the post kiss was amazing ... the shy half smile on Gunjan's face and the way Samrat looks at her, then she hides her face in his shoulder, they hold each other tight, his hand stroking her hair in a gesture that's both protective and possessive, and she's at complete peace again, and he's just happy that she's back.
Rest of episode - how to save MN ...
Oh, the first Gunjan and Bauji scene was good too - when Bauji asks 'voh kaisi hai?' Gunjan answers, then her eyes plead with him and Bauji holds her gaze very briefly, then looks away.
EDIT:
Shortest apology on record - Gunjan: Samrat ...
Samrat: chashmish ...
end of apology :) :) :)
Loveliest hug - the post kiss Sajan hug, it was as though they were complete, happy and unutterably content to be exactly where they were - in each others' arms. And could have stayed there forever - except for siblings again!!!!
Honestly, Sajan need an outstation trip on their own ... on second thoughts, with Gunjan's inhibitions about PDA having just dissolved, that might be a bit dangerous! But I wonder if this will be a turning point of sorts in their relationship - till now, Gunjan never felt that she could ever lose Samrat because he was so completely and obviously crazy about her so she never really loosened up about PDA. Will it be different now?
On the other hand, what I like best about their love story is that it is a very private one. The whole world knows that they are together, but they're content to just be together, they don't have to/want to/need to show it to anybody else. Felt this when Samrat said - okay, stop talking about us, let's concentrate on MN. Not only Gunjan, even he is uncomfortable showing his innermost feelings to the world, and his love for Gunjan is what makes him most vulnerable, even more than his family story. So he doesn't really want to share it with anyone except for her, doesn't want anyone except Gunjan to know how much she really means to him. Unlike the MN story, which is now being conducted in full view of the entire gang. Even the SG make up was very private - Dia Uday brought Gunjan to Samrat, and then left them alone. No bheedh bhadakka, no making up in front of the whole world, no loud declarations of ILU and we need to announce it to the world - they made up quietly and on their own, and when the rest came in, they didn't even talk about it - it was over and done with and they were back where they had always been - together. And the others knew that all was okay again because the smiles were back on their faces.
Ah ... and they definitely don't need a 'pehli baar' in the barn to reinforce how much they love each other!!!
Friday, January 1, 2010
What a way to end the year
31st Dec
Hopefully this means an end to saas bahu saga as well.
Oh no - SamAd eyelocks are back - can we end those too?
Nups staring at bauji with hurt look, and Su saying All the best to Ad - the only remotely subtle and non-filmy parts.
Precap - ROFL ... Bauji tells Gunjan, mera naam ooncha rakhna, she promptly kisses Samrat ... am looking fwd to the kiss, but couldn't help laughing at that one!
Sam tells Mayank about Nups shaadi ... the only thing missing was the drumrolls and the focus on each character to make it TOTALLY Balaji show!
Hopefully this means an end to saas bahu saga as well.
Oh no - SamAd eyelocks are back - can we end those too?
Nups staring at bauji with hurt look, and Su saying All the best to Ad - the only remotely subtle and non-filmy parts.
Precap - ROFL ... Bauji tells Gunjan, mera naam ooncha rakhna, she promptly kisses Samrat ... am looking fwd to the kiss, but couldn't help laughing at that one!
Sam tells Mayank about Nups shaadi ... the only thing missing was the drumrolls and the focus on each character to make it TOTALLY Balaji show!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
28/29 december
28th December (from updates)
Adhiraj painting the wall – why exactly? Tear the pictures, burn them, stamp on them – but paint them???
Nupur with Bauji – Ekta style. Bui – more Ekta style.
Then Mayank has to ruin it all by climbing the wall and then the ladder, and Nupur adds to it by coming down the ladder and hugging him. Learn from Samrat, Mayank – that’s why he’s the love guru – never make clandestine entries when elders are in the house. Samrat’s been climbing ladders for a year – did he ever get caught???!! Kuch seekho! And Nups – did Gunjan ever climb down that ladder? Tum bhi kuch seekho – ladder love is not that easy that all can do it!
29th December
Nupur on balcony, Mayank leaving – made me laugh! Her crying was sooo Ekta-ish! Hand half held out … ouch! Now I know why MN have been indulging in so much PDA – to show the youth PDA is baaad … verrry baad. I feel no sympathy for Nupur – height of idiocy, you know your father is in the house and you climb over the balcony to hug Mayank? Where are your brains???? Gunjan never climbed over the balcony even when there were no adults in the house and look at you! Stupid doesn’t begin to describe you!
As for Mayank – who wrote his dialogues? Guaranteed to tick off any remotely reasonable dad, which Bauji definitely is … it doesn’t matter even if Bauji comes or anyone else, I’ll fight them all for you?! Seriously, he’s become more filmy than Nupur!!! It’s as though there’s a compare contrast between SG and MN – SG have changed each other for the better and MN have changed for the worse, especially Mayank – Nupur has stayed as filmy or more than what she was and Mayank’s character has gone to the dogs! Who says Nupur has improved – I don’t see any improvement, at least none that the cv’s have shown – she’s become more demanding, more filmy, more shrewish, and Mayank has become her lapdog … his dialogues were the PITS today! Even when Nupur told him that Bauji is here … I don’t know if this is intentional but Samrat and his behavior in Morena couldn’t have been a bigger contrast – if ever bauji had any doubts about Samrat, just by sheer comparison, they would disappear in front of Mayank’s behavior. Which I am feeling an unholy joy about … now if only they would remember that SG are a part of this show! Otherwise I will just write the scene!!!!
Umm … people have been talking about Arti’s acting in the episode … again, ROFL!!! Acting would be if they could have made me feel an iota of sympathy for them in the idiotic scene … all I could feel was – it serves you right for acting the way you have! Now if it had been SG and their acting, I would probably been in tears! Thanks god SG haven’t had such character destruction! I’d rather not see them than see something like this!!!
Logically, hope for the SG track not deteriorating into saas bahu melodrama …
Samrat didn't enter the house under a false name ... no deceit as far as bauji is concerned.
When he was told to leave, he left immediately ... did not try to instigate gunjan to defy her family and leave with him (true, he didn't have the threat of adharaj hanging over his head but big bad bui was very much there)
In front of bauji, he told gunjan, whatever parents do is for our good so we have to accept their decision (MAJOR brownie points for that one)
the fact that bauji handed over responsibility of gunjan and nupur to him means that bauji does already trust him and feel favourably towards him
most importantly ...
he has never (till date) been fool enough to climb ladders when elders have been in the house (except for invisible chachaji's with unknown whereabouts)
gunjan has never been fool enough to climb down ladders and hug him when she knew elders were in the house, even when there were no elders in the house ... an inhibition to PDA can be very useful in such situations!
30th december
Another skippable episode from the update :) All about Adh and his revenge plans. No need to watch. Oh no - after two Adh free days, he's back!!! In precap, Su was looking a bit like a goldfish at the start - improved later. Still don't understand the 'depth' of their love story though.
EDIT: watched - for the Sayank scene - again a good one. I like Sayank! Samrat's dialogue was touching - kehna aasan hai - he's not finding it easy to forget gunjan, try as he might :).
Rest of episode has deteriorated sooo rapidly into K-types that now I watch with same feelings as for Kserials - complete amusement, because it doesn't touch the heart the way MJHT used to earlier, and has lost all touch with any realism it ever had. And Adhiraj - really?! Wanting to marry nups for revenge? Su, ANOTHER lie? 'I don't know Adhiraj' - wonder what would have happened if she had said yes, I know him, this man made promises of love to me and now he is betraying me ... sob, sob ... would have been interesting to see Bui's face ... Adhiraj would have looked even more like a goldfish than he normally does. And Nups dropping the tea-tray ... ROFL!!! Now SHE should say - yes, bauji, i agree, whatever elders say is for our good, we'll get married whenever you like - and shoot dagger looks at adhiraj all the way - let's see you get out of that one!
Oh and can she please tell him - you want to marry me? Sure - just hope you don't regret it later! Should make him run for his life!
But they never make heroines strong ... so forget it! All that's gonna happen is that Nups and Su are going to cry more buckets wailing for their lost loves, Sam is going to try coming up with another grand 'plan' based on more lies ... why oh why, can't nupur say - I agree to marry adhiraj, even though both he and I know that both he and I love other people. Again, Bui's face would be worth watching!
Hehe ... could write at least three different scenarios for this ... maybe I will, if I have time!
Adhiraj painting the wall – why exactly? Tear the pictures, burn them, stamp on them – but paint them???
Nupur with Bauji – Ekta style. Bui – more Ekta style.
Then Mayank has to ruin it all by climbing the wall and then the ladder, and Nupur adds to it by coming down the ladder and hugging him. Learn from Samrat, Mayank – that’s why he’s the love guru – never make clandestine entries when elders are in the house. Samrat’s been climbing ladders for a year – did he ever get caught???!! Kuch seekho! And Nups – did Gunjan ever climb down that ladder? Tum bhi kuch seekho – ladder love is not that easy that all can do it!
29th December
Nupur on balcony, Mayank leaving – made me laugh! Her crying was sooo Ekta-ish! Hand half held out … ouch! Now I know why MN have been indulging in so much PDA – to show the youth PDA is baaad … verrry baad. I feel no sympathy for Nupur – height of idiocy, you know your father is in the house and you climb over the balcony to hug Mayank? Where are your brains???? Gunjan never climbed over the balcony even when there were no adults in the house and look at you! Stupid doesn’t begin to describe you!
As for Mayank – who wrote his dialogues? Guaranteed to tick off any remotely reasonable dad, which Bauji definitely is … it doesn’t matter even if Bauji comes or anyone else, I’ll fight them all for you?! Seriously, he’s become more filmy than Nupur!!! It’s as though there’s a compare contrast between SG and MN – SG have changed each other for the better and MN have changed for the worse, especially Mayank – Nupur has stayed as filmy or more than what she was and Mayank’s character has gone to the dogs! Who says Nupur has improved – I don’t see any improvement, at least none that the cv’s have shown – she’s become more demanding, more filmy, more shrewish, and Mayank has become her lapdog … his dialogues were the PITS today! Even when Nupur told him that Bauji is here … I don’t know if this is intentional but Samrat and his behavior in Morena couldn’t have been a bigger contrast – if ever bauji had any doubts about Samrat, just by sheer comparison, they would disappear in front of Mayank’s behavior. Which I am feeling an unholy joy about … now if only they would remember that SG are a part of this show! Otherwise I will just write the scene!!!!
Umm … people have been talking about Arti’s acting in the episode … again, ROFL!!! Acting would be if they could have made me feel an iota of sympathy for them in the idiotic scene … all I could feel was – it serves you right for acting the way you have! Now if it had been SG and their acting, I would probably been in tears! Thanks god SG haven’t had such character destruction! I’d rather not see them than see something like this!!!
Logically, hope for the SG track not deteriorating into saas bahu melodrama …
Samrat didn't enter the house under a false name ... no deceit as far as bauji is concerned.
When he was told to leave, he left immediately ... did not try to instigate gunjan to defy her family and leave with him (true, he didn't have the threat of adharaj hanging over his head but big bad bui was very much there)
In front of bauji, he told gunjan, whatever parents do is for our good so we have to accept their decision (MAJOR brownie points for that one)
the fact that bauji handed over responsibility of gunjan and nupur to him means that bauji does already trust him and feel favourably towards him
most importantly ...
he has never (till date) been fool enough to climb ladders when elders have been in the house (except for invisible chachaji's with unknown whereabouts)
gunjan has never been fool enough to climb down ladders and hug him when she knew elders were in the house, even when there were no elders in the house ... an inhibition to PDA can be very useful in such situations!
30th december
Another skippable episode from the update :) All about Adh and his revenge plans. No need to watch. Oh no - after two Adh free days, he's back!!! In precap, Su was looking a bit like a goldfish at the start - improved later. Still don't understand the 'depth' of their love story though.
EDIT: watched - for the Sayank scene - again a good one. I like Sayank! Samrat's dialogue was touching - kehna aasan hai - he's not finding it easy to forget gunjan, try as he might :).
Rest of episode has deteriorated sooo rapidly into K-types that now I watch with same feelings as for Kserials - complete amusement, because it doesn't touch the heart the way MJHT used to earlier, and has lost all touch with any realism it ever had. And Adhiraj - really?! Wanting to marry nups for revenge? Su, ANOTHER lie? 'I don't know Adhiraj' - wonder what would have happened if she had said yes, I know him, this man made promises of love to me and now he is betraying me ... sob, sob ... would have been interesting to see Bui's face ... Adhiraj would have looked even more like a goldfish than he normally does. And Nups dropping the tea-tray ... ROFL!!! Now SHE should say - yes, bauji, i agree, whatever elders say is for our good, we'll get married whenever you like - and shoot dagger looks at adhiraj all the way - let's see you get out of that one!
Oh and can she please tell him - you want to marry me? Sure - just hope you don't regret it later! Should make him run for his life!
But they never make heroines strong ... so forget it! All that's gonna happen is that Nups and Su are going to cry more buckets wailing for their lost loves, Sam is going to try coming up with another grand 'plan' based on more lies ... why oh why, can't nupur say - I agree to marry adhiraj, even though both he and I know that both he and I love other people. Again, Bui's face would be worth watching!
Hehe ... could write at least three different scenarios for this ... maybe I will, if I have time!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Only scenes worth mentioning in the week
24th December
Only scene somewhat worth watching – the Samrat Suhani scene- started off with Adhiraj turning down Su then Samrat sambhalos her, and I thought, hey, he’s forgiven her and decided to turn it off in disgust – but wait, a SamSu scene which was good, awkward, broken silences, and Sam tells her she can stay with him. Again good scene when they get back to his house, awkward, memories of childhood, then Su ruins it all by only thinking of Adhiraj :( Mohit was really good, and I felt no sympathy for Suhani with her obsession with Adhiraj – the lamest love story in MJHT these days, even lamer than MN with the saas bahu family drama track.
25th December
Highlight was that Sajan TALKED to each other! If only on the phone. Gunjan had been keeping herself strong for her sister, but hearing Samrat’s voice finally made her break down and as usual, she couldn’t keep anything from him. Told him the whole story. and Samrat couldn’t stop himself from consoling her, telling her he’ll make things all right. First phone call – Gunjan’s breakdown over the phone, second phone call, a plea for help for her sister and Samrat says he’ll do something, and she says thanks … silence … Samrat … kaho, Chashmish … kuch nahin. Bas, thanks. And a speaking silence. No wonder they have such few dialogues sometimes – they don’t need to talk. Their silences say so much. It’s as though their feelings are flowing through the telephone lines to touch each other. How can they stop talking to each other? They just can’t. And when they talk, their feelings spill out uninhibited – she needs him, his strength, his support – she’s being strong for her sister, but she needs him even more to support her through this. And he knows it the moment she speaks, knows this isn’t the time for his anger – that can come later, because there will always be a ‘later’ for them. There will never be a ‘the end’.
Wonder why Mayank is being so adamant about keeping Samrat Gunjan apart and making sure Samrat stays with Suhani. Is it the same reason that Gunjan has – if Samrat has Gunjan with him, he doesn’t need anyone else, so to make sure he accepts Suhani, make sure she is his only source of support, not Gunjan. The only thing is, for Gunjan to feel this is selfless, for Mayank to feel this is being interfering. SG put the MN bond first, did their best to get MN together, and here Mayank is coolly putting the SG bond on the line, creating distance between Sam and Gun, to ensure that Sam accepts Suhani. I know he promised Suhani that he would bridge the gap, but in this way? Somehow it doesn’t seem right. Even if he has as much faith in the SG bond to know that it will never break, but he is causing a rift, or helping to widen it, and that is not correct. Not for any bro-sis relationship. Putting one relationship on the line for another - that's not his business.
Also, everyone is being very holier than thou in getting bro sis together, but the problem is still the same – does Samrat have a valid reason for hating Suhani? No one has bothered to ask him this, and anyway, he doesn’t want to tell anyone. Sentimentality about brother-sister bond is all very well, but he might just have some justification on his side, some solid reason to hate his sister.
Then again – he might not – cv’s aren’t known for much depth in their storylines.
Bauji sees MN hugging. Uh oh, Nups and Mayank being very unwise here. See how useful an inhibition against PDA is? If it had been SG, they would have been standing sedately 2 feet apart – nothing for anybody to take any exception to. Besides which, Gunjan wouldn’t have climbed down the ladder in the first place! Will Bauji listen to Nupur? Or will he call on Samrat? And what effect will that have on Sajan?
Another thought – will Bauji insist MN get married immediately – and that put next set of strains on MN?
Only scene somewhat worth watching – the Samrat Suhani scene- started off with Adhiraj turning down Su then Samrat sambhalos her, and I thought, hey, he’s forgiven her and decided to turn it off in disgust – but wait, a SamSu scene which was good, awkward, broken silences, and Sam tells her she can stay with him. Again good scene when they get back to his house, awkward, memories of childhood, then Su ruins it all by only thinking of Adhiraj :( Mohit was really good, and I felt no sympathy for Suhani with her obsession with Adhiraj – the lamest love story in MJHT these days, even lamer than MN with the saas bahu family drama track.
25th December
Highlight was that Sajan TALKED to each other! If only on the phone. Gunjan had been keeping herself strong for her sister, but hearing Samrat’s voice finally made her break down and as usual, she couldn’t keep anything from him. Told him the whole story. and Samrat couldn’t stop himself from consoling her, telling her he’ll make things all right. First phone call – Gunjan’s breakdown over the phone, second phone call, a plea for help for her sister and Samrat says he’ll do something, and she says thanks … silence … Samrat … kaho, Chashmish … kuch nahin. Bas, thanks. And a speaking silence. No wonder they have such few dialogues sometimes – they don’t need to talk. Their silences say so much. It’s as though their feelings are flowing through the telephone lines to touch each other. How can they stop talking to each other? They just can’t. And when they talk, their feelings spill out uninhibited – she needs him, his strength, his support – she’s being strong for her sister, but she needs him even more to support her through this. And he knows it the moment she speaks, knows this isn’t the time for his anger – that can come later, because there will always be a ‘later’ for them. There will never be a ‘the end’.
Wonder why Mayank is being so adamant about keeping Samrat Gunjan apart and making sure Samrat stays with Suhani. Is it the same reason that Gunjan has – if Samrat has Gunjan with him, he doesn’t need anyone else, so to make sure he accepts Suhani, make sure she is his only source of support, not Gunjan. The only thing is, for Gunjan to feel this is selfless, for Mayank to feel this is being interfering. SG put the MN bond first, did their best to get MN together, and here Mayank is coolly putting the SG bond on the line, creating distance between Sam and Gun, to ensure that Sam accepts Suhani. I know he promised Suhani that he would bridge the gap, but in this way? Somehow it doesn’t seem right. Even if he has as much faith in the SG bond to know that it will never break, but he is causing a rift, or helping to widen it, and that is not correct. Not for any bro-sis relationship. Putting one relationship on the line for another - that's not his business.
Also, everyone is being very holier than thou in getting bro sis together, but the problem is still the same – does Samrat have a valid reason for hating Suhani? No one has bothered to ask him this, and anyway, he doesn’t want to tell anyone. Sentimentality about brother-sister bond is all very well, but he might just have some justification on his side, some solid reason to hate his sister.
Then again – he might not – cv’s aren’t known for much depth in their storylines.
Bauji sees MN hugging. Uh oh, Nups and Mayank being very unwise here. See how useful an inhibition against PDA is? If it had been SG, they would have been standing sedately 2 feet apart – nothing for anybody to take any exception to. Besides which, Gunjan wouldn’t have climbed down the ladder in the first place! Will Bauji listen to Nupur? Or will he call on Samrat? And what effect will that have on Sajan?
Another thought – will Bauji insist MN get married immediately – and that put next set of strains on MN?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Samrat Gunjan - edited
Suhani came out after a long time, her eyes red. She looked at Gunjan hopelessly and without a word, she left, walking out through the door sadly.
Gunjan waited, her face tense, her fingers twisting with each other.
Samrat came out of his room slowly, his face blank. She was sitting on the sofa in the living room. Without looking at her, he came and sat down next to her, not touching her.
For a long while there was silence.
"Voh yahan kyun aayi," he said suddenly into the silence. Gunjan kept quiet. He still didn't look at her.
"Bolo?" he said, his tone aggressive. "Itne saal baad use meri yaad suddenly kyun aayi? Usne tumhe kuch reason bataya? Ya tumne poocha nahin? Uski sob story par yakin kar liya?"
"Samrat," she said softly. "Ek baar usko ek mauka to dekar dekho. Voh bhi bachi thi, tum bhi bache the. Itne saal baad bh itna gussa? Voh tumhari behen hai, Samrat."
"Mujhe nahin chahiye koi behen," he said. "Main akela theek hun. Bahut mushkil se apna bachpan peeche chhod diya hai. Ab use yaad nahin karna mujhe. Use bol do voh yahan se chali jaye."
"Samrat …" began Gunjan softly, hesitantly. He turned to look at her, a tortured look on his face.
"Tum nahin jaanti," he said. "Tum nahin jaanti, Chashmish, kyunki tumhe hamesha apni family se pyar mila hai. Tum imagine bhi nahin kar sakti ki kaisa lagta hai jab tumhare hi mom, dad, behen, koi bhi tumhe nahin chahta, tumhari care nahin karta."
"Samrat," said Gunjan, "Aisa nahin hai. Voh parvah karte hain. Sirf haalat aise ho, to sab log helpless ho jaate hain. Aur phir koi decision lene padte hain jo shayad galat hote hain, lekin uss samay lagta hai ki aur koi choice nahin hai. Tumhari mom ne bhi aisa decision liya tha, Samrat, sirf isliye ki unke paas koi choice nahin tha."
He shook his head obstinately.
"Nahin, Chashmish," he said. "Tum nahi jaanti. Suhani mom aur dad dono ki favorite thi. Divorce ke baad, …" he stopped and looked at her and she could see how difficult it was for him to say what he was saying, how it hurt him. "Divorce ke baad, voh dono Suhani ko hi rakhna chahte the. Koi bhi mujhe nahin chahta tha. Un dono ke liye mere paas koi vaqt nahin tha. Tabhi to dad ne mujhe boarding school bhej diya. Suhani ko mom ka pyar to mila, mujhe to kuch nahin mila."
She wanted to cry for him, for the lost, bewildered look on his face, for the lonely, unwanted, unloved child he had felt himself to be, for the hurt and the pain he had gone through all through his life. But she couldn't cry now, not yet.
"Iss liye tum Suhani ko itna hate karte the?" she asked very softly. She turned to him and held his face in her hands very gently. "Itne saal, Samrat? Uski galti kya thi? Problem tumhare parents ki thi, lekin suffer tum dono ne kiya, Samrat. Shayad unhone jaan boojh kar tum dono ko itne saal milne nahin diya. Shayad unhone yeh socha ki unki ladai mein tum dono already itne hurt ho gaye ho, miloge to baar baar alag hona aur bhi mushkil hoga. Ya shayad unki koi aur vajah thi. Lekin isme Suhani ki galti nahin thi, Samrat. Aur aaj Suhani ne ek koshish ki hai apne bhai ko phir se paane ki, uss bhai ko jo bachpan mein uske liye sab kuch tha. Aur jiske liye uski behen sab kuch thi."
"Voh mere liye kuch nahin hai …" he said, then stopped.
"Nahin hai to tum use itna hate kyun karte ho?" she asked him. "Samrat, sirf voh log hamein chot pahunchate hain, jo hamare liye important hote hain. Suhani aaj bhi tumhari choti behen hai, voh behen jise tum bahut pyar karte the. Aur jo tumhe pyar karti thi. Tum dono ka alag hona na uski galti thi, na tumhari. Haalat ne tumko alag kiya, lekin aaj tumhe ek mauke mil raha hai, saari purani baato ko bhulane ka, apni behen ko phir se paane ka. Aaj tumne yeh mauka chod diya, to kal tum Suhani ko nahin, apne aap ko hamesha hate karoge."
Her hands left his face and she got up. He sat still for a while, a mixture of expressions on his face and she turned to look at him.
"Ek baar soch lo, Samrat," she said. "Rishte todna aasan hota hai, lekin unhe jodna bahut mushkil. Aur yeh baat hum dono bahut achhi tarah jaante hain."
He looked back at her and got up. He came very close to her, his expression anguished.
"Rishte tootthe hain to bahut dard hota hai, Chashmish," he half whispered and she couldn't stand the expression on his face. She put her arms around him and held him fiercely and felt his head come down on her shoulder, felt the fear in him of yet another loss, another heartbreak. They stood for a long moment in silent embrace. Then they pulled apart slowly.
"Mujhe jaana chahiye," she whispered, not wanting to go, to leave him alone, but it was late and she had no choice. He nodded bleakly, understanding.
She walked to the door slowly, feeling him watching her every step of the way. At the door, she stopped, waited for a long moment, and turned around.
For the first time that evening, she saw the shadow of a smile cross his face. And then, her heart breaking for him, she left.
Gunjan waited, her face tense, her fingers twisting with each other.
Samrat came out of his room slowly, his face blank. She was sitting on the sofa in the living room. Without looking at her, he came and sat down next to her, not touching her.
For a long while there was silence.
"Voh yahan kyun aayi," he said suddenly into the silence. Gunjan kept quiet. He still didn't look at her.
"Bolo?" he said, his tone aggressive. "Itne saal baad use meri yaad suddenly kyun aayi? Usne tumhe kuch reason bataya? Ya tumne poocha nahin? Uski sob story par yakin kar liya?"
"Samrat," she said softly. "Ek baar usko ek mauka to dekar dekho. Voh bhi bachi thi, tum bhi bache the. Itne saal baad bh itna gussa? Voh tumhari behen hai, Samrat."
"Mujhe nahin chahiye koi behen," he said. "Main akela theek hun. Bahut mushkil se apna bachpan peeche chhod diya hai. Ab use yaad nahin karna mujhe. Use bol do voh yahan se chali jaye."
"Samrat …" began Gunjan softly, hesitantly. He turned to look at her, a tortured look on his face.
"Tum nahin jaanti," he said. "Tum nahin jaanti, Chashmish, kyunki tumhe hamesha apni family se pyar mila hai. Tum imagine bhi nahin kar sakti ki kaisa lagta hai jab tumhare hi mom, dad, behen, koi bhi tumhe nahin chahta, tumhari care nahin karta."
"Samrat," said Gunjan, "Aisa nahin hai. Voh parvah karte hain. Sirf haalat aise ho, to sab log helpless ho jaate hain. Aur phir koi decision lene padte hain jo shayad galat hote hain, lekin uss samay lagta hai ki aur koi choice nahin hai. Tumhari mom ne bhi aisa decision liya tha, Samrat, sirf isliye ki unke paas koi choice nahin tha."
He shook his head obstinately.
"Nahin, Chashmish," he said. "Tum nahi jaanti. Suhani mom aur dad dono ki favorite thi. Divorce ke baad, …" he stopped and looked at her and she could see how difficult it was for him to say what he was saying, how it hurt him. "Divorce ke baad, voh dono Suhani ko hi rakhna chahte the. Koi bhi mujhe nahin chahta tha. Un dono ke liye mere paas koi vaqt nahin tha. Tabhi to dad ne mujhe boarding school bhej diya. Suhani ko mom ka pyar to mila, mujhe to kuch nahin mila."
She wanted to cry for him, for the lost, bewildered look on his face, for the lonely, unwanted, unloved child he had felt himself to be, for the hurt and the pain he had gone through all through his life. But she couldn't cry now, not yet.
"Iss liye tum Suhani ko itna hate karte the?" she asked very softly. She turned to him and held his face in her hands very gently. "Itne saal, Samrat? Uski galti kya thi? Problem tumhare parents ki thi, lekin suffer tum dono ne kiya, Samrat. Shayad unhone jaan boojh kar tum dono ko itne saal milne nahin diya. Shayad unhone yeh socha ki unki ladai mein tum dono already itne hurt ho gaye ho, miloge to baar baar alag hona aur bhi mushkil hoga. Ya shayad unki koi aur vajah thi. Lekin isme Suhani ki galti nahin thi, Samrat. Aur aaj Suhani ne ek koshish ki hai apne bhai ko phir se paane ki, uss bhai ko jo bachpan mein uske liye sab kuch tha. Aur jiske liye uski behen sab kuch thi."
"Voh mere liye kuch nahin hai …" he said, then stopped.
"Nahin hai to tum use itna hate kyun karte ho?" she asked him. "Samrat, sirf voh log hamein chot pahunchate hain, jo hamare liye important hote hain. Suhani aaj bhi tumhari choti behen hai, voh behen jise tum bahut pyar karte the. Aur jo tumhe pyar karti thi. Tum dono ka alag hona na uski galti thi, na tumhari. Haalat ne tumko alag kiya, lekin aaj tumhe ek mauke mil raha hai, saari purani baato ko bhulane ka, apni behen ko phir se paane ka. Aaj tumne yeh mauka chod diya, to kal tum Suhani ko nahin, apne aap ko hamesha hate karoge."
Her hands left his face and she got up. He sat still for a while, a mixture of expressions on his face and she turned to look at him.
"Ek baar soch lo, Samrat," she said. "Rishte todna aasan hota hai, lekin unhe jodna bahut mushkil. Aur yeh baat hum dono bahut achhi tarah jaante hain."
He looked back at her and got up. He came very close to her, his expression anguished.
"Rishte tootthe hain to bahut dard hota hai, Chashmish," he half whispered and she couldn't stand the expression on his face. She put her arms around him and held him fiercely and felt his head come down on her shoulder, felt the fear in him of yet another loss, another heartbreak. They stood for a long moment in silent embrace. Then they pulled apart slowly.
"Mujhe jaana chahiye," she whispered, not wanting to go, to leave him alone, but it was late and she had no choice. He nodded bleakly, understanding.
She walked to the door slowly, feeling him watching her every step of the way. At the door, she stopped, waited for a long moment, and turned around.
For the first time that evening, she saw the shadow of a smile cross his face. And then, her heart breaking for him, she left.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
My version
My version of what the Sam Suhani confrontation should have been
I have ignored Adhiraj completely as I don't feel he adds much to the story and Suhani's concentration should be on the brother she ostensibly came to find. If I need him later, i will add him.
The scene starts from the confrontation at the hospital where Samrat finds out that Nups2 is Suhani and that Gunjan knew it. This is part 1. Part 2 with more of SG will be added later. Am opening the blog to make it easy to comment.
Samrat stared at Gunjan and then at Suhani. Suhani. His sister.
His sister.
Whom he hated. Hated with all his heart, hated even more than he did his father or his mother. His father had neglected him all his life, his mother had done the same, but he had tried to protect and shelter his younger sister as much as he could, as much as a child of ten could, from all the ugliness that was happening in their home. And she had loved him, she had sheltered behind him and when the time came to choose, she had chosen their mother and gone off with her. She had known what their father was like, but she had abandoned him like his mother had. And it hurt worse, because his mother, like his father, never had time for him, but Suhani? She lived for him, for her big brother whom she idolized. The brother who had borne the worst of their parents’ taunts and even beatings, and protected her from them. She had sheltered behind him. And then she walked off with their mother without looking back.
Samrat looked back at Gunjan.
“Tum jaanti thi? Ki yeh Suhani hai?” he asked in a voice that didn’t sound like his own. She swallowed nervously and nodded.
“Tum jaanti thi … aur tumne mujhe nahin bataya?”
“Bhai … maine Gunjan ko mana kiya …” began Suhani but Samrat held up his hand and she stopped. He didn’t look at her, his eyes were fixed on Gunjan.
“How could you, Gunjan?” he asked in a very low voice.
And he walked out.
Gunjan and Suhani stared at his retreating back and then at each other, identical looks of distress on their faces. Suhani sank down on her knees, tears starting to flow down her cheeks.
“He hates me,” she said. “He hates me, Gunjan Bhai ne ek baar bhi meri taraf nahin dekha. Gunjan …”
Gunjan stared numbly at the doorway, too stunned at Samrat’s reaction to cry. He would be angry, she had known. So angry? Would he understand why she hadn’t told him? Would she be able to make him understand?
The others stared at each other. They had never seen Samrat like this before. Dia, Uday, Benji, who didn’t know the full story, were baffled. Mayank and Nupur looked at each other, identical looks of dismay on their faces.
And then there was a sound breaking the silence of the night. They all heard the sound of Samrat’s motocycle revving and then roaring down the drive and into the distance.
Gunjan looked at Suhani, decision on her face. “Suhani, mere saath aao,” she said.
Samrat’s house was in darkness, but there was a single dull glow coming from what Gunjan knew was his room. The door was open, the bike parked carelessly just outside, the engine still warm. Samrat had obviously just reached.
Gunjan made to go in, but Suhani held her back.
“Gunjan, Bhai bahut gusse mein hai. Maine kaha tha na, ki he hates me. Voh mujhe kabhi maaf nahin karenge.”
Gunjan looked back at Suhani gently.
“Suhani, ab to Samrat ko pata chal gaya hai ki tum kaun ho. Aur kitne din usse chhupogi? Aur kitne din hum jhooth bolte? Kabhi na kabhi to sach ko bahar aana hi tha … achcha hua jaldi aa gaya. Jitni der lagti, sach bolna utna hi mushkil hota rehta.”
“Lekin …” Suhani said, still very nervous, but Gunjan was determined.
“Chalo, Suhani,” she said and Suhani had no choice but to follow.
As they entered, they heard the sound of thudding from Samrat’s room, and then the sound of a crash of breaking glass. Suhani held back, but Gunjan went forward, pulling her by the hand. The door to Samrat’s room was open, and the girls looked round it carefully. The room was a mess, Samrat’s jacket was flung carelessly across his bed, a basketball lay abandoned on the floor, and there were shards of broken glass everywhere from the the mirror which had just been broken by the basketball trophy that had apparently been flung at it in blind rage. The trophy lay on its side amid the slivers of glass and Suhani gave a half sob on seeing it and started into the room to pick it up.
Samrat glared at her. Then he looked behind her and saw Gunjan. She looked back at him, her face tense and nervous, but determined and he looked away, his face closing. She came forward.
“Samrat, please … Suhani ki baat to suno …”
“Mujhe koi baat nahin sunni,” he interrupted curtly and turned his back to her.
Gunjan spoke in a softer voice from behind him.
“Meri bhi nahin, Samrat?”
He turned back at that, the anger again on his face.
“Tumhari bhi nahin, Chashmish. Tumne mujhse jhooth bola. Tumne mujhe sikhaya ki sachai kya hoti hai … aur tumne mujhse jhooth bola. Pehli baar … aur voh bhi … Suhani ke liye …”
“Pehli baar nahin, Samrat,” she said and his head whipped up to look at her. she swallowed at the anger on his face and went on doggedly. “Pehli baat to tumse jhooth nahin bola, Samrat … yeh doosri baar hai. Lekin pehli baar bhi vajah vahi thi … aur iss baar bhi vajah vahi thi … Farak sirf itna hai ki pehli baar meri jhooth bolne ki vajah tum khud samajh gaye the.”
He looked at her, puzzled, and she went on, drawing courage from the fact that his puzzlement was replacing his anger.
“Tumhe yaad nahin, Samrat? Jab maine tumhe kaha ki hamari friendship Sheena se zyada zaroori nahin hai. Tab bhi to maine jhooth bola tha, Samrat. Lekin tum Morena mein samajh gaye the ki maine voh jhooth kyun bola.”
She came closer to him, tears now starting in her eyes.
“Maine voh jhooth kyun bola tha, Samrat? Batao? Tumhi ne to mujhe Morena mein yeh sawaal kiya tha … lekin tab tum is sawaal ka jawab jaante the.”
He turned away, as though he didn’t want to answer her. But Gunjan was determined. She walked around him so that she was facing him again.
“Kyun, Samrat?”
He was silent still, his shoulders tense. But Gunjan wasn’t done.
“Kyun, Samrat? Bolo? Maine jhooth kyun bola tha?”
“Kyunki tum mujhse pyaar karti thi!” he shouted, finally goaded out of his silence by her words. “Lekin tum tab bhi galat thi, Chashmish, aur ab bhi galat ho! Main Sheena ke saath zyada khush nahin tha, voh hamari dosti se zyada zaroori nahin thi … aur yeh tum jaanti ho! Aur aaj … aaj tumne Suhani ke liye mujhse jhooth bola? Kya Suhani mujhse zyada important ho gayi? Kya uski khushi tumhare liye meri khushi se zyada important ho gayi? Ki tumne mujhse Suhani ke kehne par jhooth bola? Ek baar mujhse nahin poocha …”
“To main kya karti, Samrat?” Gunjan broke in, tears running down her cheeks now. “Tum hi bolo, main kya karti? Tumhe aakar bata deti ki yeh Nupur nahin, tumhari behen Suhani hai? Yeh jaante hue ki tum Suhani ko ek minute mein apni zindagi se bahar nikal dete … aur phir se akele ho jaate? Yeh jaante hue ki tum apne family ko itna miss karte ho … main ek bhi koshish nahin karti …?”
“Main unko nahin miss karta,” Samrat said uncertainly, looking away from her and she looked straight back at him.
“Nahin miss karte? Samrat, ab tum jhooth bol rahe ho … aur tum bhi yeh jaante ho.”
“Nahin miss karta, Chashmish,” he repeated and this time more firmly. “Un logon ko main kyun miss karun jinko meri koi parvah nahin hai? Dad – jo paise to jee khol kar bhej dete hain, lekin school ki chhutiyon mein mujhe boarding mein he rehne ko kehte hain, kyunki unke paas mere liye vakt nahin hai. Mom – jinhe apni life … aur apni beti se fursat nahin hai, yeh dekhne ke liye ki unka beta theek hai ya nahin … jab ki voh Dad ko jaanti hain. Aur meri behen …” he turned and looked at Suhani, and the anger, the hatred was back in his eyes, “… meri choti behen … jise maine nau saal tak protect kiya, taaki use mom dad ke jhagdon ki aawaz na sunayi de, unke fights aur arguments use raat mein nightmares na de, jaise mujhe dete the, use akele rehne ka darr na lage, jaise mujhe lagta tha … voh behen khushi khushi mom ke saath chali gayi, ek baar bhi mujhe mud ke nahin dekha? Ek chitthi tak nahin likhi? Ek baar bhi mom ko nahin kaha ki Bhai ko chhutiyon mein hamare paas bula lo?”
“Bhai!” broke in Suhani, “Bhai, maine chitthi likhi! Rakhi bheji! Tumhara koi jawab nahin aaya, phir bhi main har saal bhejti thi …”
“Phir se jhooth, Suhani,” he said and turned away from her.
“Tumhe kaise pata ki Suhani jhooth bol rahi hai, Samrat?” Gunjan asked quietly and the calm of her voice reached him like Suhani’s tears had failed to do.
“Kyun ki mujhe ek bhi chitthi nahin mili,” he replied. “Ek bhi chitthi nahin, Chashmish, na ek phone call … aur jitni bhi chitthiyan maine likhi, unka ek bhi jawab nahin. Aur tum kehti ho ki voh jhooth nahin bol …”
“Bhai, tumne chitthi kab likhi?” asked Suhani and he broke off to stare at her.
“Ab tum kahogi ki main jhooth bol raha hun,” he said angrily. “Divorce ke dus din baad tumhara birthday tha. Maine chithhi likhi, card bheja aur card mein likha ki main tumhe phone karunga. Jab phone kiya to mujhe bataya gaya ki tum mujhse baat nahin kar sakti. Har baar jab maine tumhe phone kiya, yehi jawab mila … aur phir mujhe boarding school bhej diya gaya. Vahan se chitthiyan likhi, uska bhi koi jawab nahin aaya.”
“Divorce ke baad main itni upset thi,” said Suhani slowly, “ki main do hafte bed mein rahi. Doctor bhi kuch samajh nahin sake. Sirf roti rehti aur tumhe bulati rehti. Kisi ne mujhe nahin bataya ki tumne phone kiya tha. Ya tumhara card aaya tha. Aur jab mom se zid karke maine tumhe phone kiya, to pata laga ki dad ne tumhe India mein boarding school bhej diya hai. Unhone mom ko school ka naam pata batane se mana kar diya, is liye tumhe chitthi ghar ke address par hi bhejti thi, yeh soch kar ki voh tumhe bhej denge …”
She stared at Samrat. Her eyes were pleading with him to believe her and he stared back at her.
Gunjan left the room quietly. Brother and sister needed to talk things out between themselves.
I have ignored Adhiraj completely as I don't feel he adds much to the story and Suhani's concentration should be on the brother she ostensibly came to find. If I need him later, i will add him.
The scene starts from the confrontation at the hospital where Samrat finds out that Nups2 is Suhani and that Gunjan knew it. This is part 1. Part 2 with more of SG will be added later. Am opening the blog to make it easy to comment.
Samrat stared at Gunjan and then at Suhani. Suhani. His sister.
His sister.
Whom he hated. Hated with all his heart, hated even more than he did his father or his mother. His father had neglected him all his life, his mother had done the same, but he had tried to protect and shelter his younger sister as much as he could, as much as a child of ten could, from all the ugliness that was happening in their home. And she had loved him, she had sheltered behind him and when the time came to choose, she had chosen their mother and gone off with her. She had known what their father was like, but she had abandoned him like his mother had. And it hurt worse, because his mother, like his father, never had time for him, but Suhani? She lived for him, for her big brother whom she idolized. The brother who had borne the worst of their parents’ taunts and even beatings, and protected her from them. She had sheltered behind him. And then she walked off with their mother without looking back.
Samrat looked back at Gunjan.
“Tum jaanti thi? Ki yeh Suhani hai?” he asked in a voice that didn’t sound like his own. She swallowed nervously and nodded.
“Tum jaanti thi … aur tumne mujhe nahin bataya?”
“Bhai … maine Gunjan ko mana kiya …” began Suhani but Samrat held up his hand and she stopped. He didn’t look at her, his eyes were fixed on Gunjan.
“How could you, Gunjan?” he asked in a very low voice.
And he walked out.
Gunjan and Suhani stared at his retreating back and then at each other, identical looks of distress on their faces. Suhani sank down on her knees, tears starting to flow down her cheeks.
“He hates me,” she said. “He hates me, Gunjan Bhai ne ek baar bhi meri taraf nahin dekha. Gunjan …”
Gunjan stared numbly at the doorway, too stunned at Samrat’s reaction to cry. He would be angry, she had known. So angry? Would he understand why she hadn’t told him? Would she be able to make him understand?
The others stared at each other. They had never seen Samrat like this before. Dia, Uday, Benji, who didn’t know the full story, were baffled. Mayank and Nupur looked at each other, identical looks of dismay on their faces.
And then there was a sound breaking the silence of the night. They all heard the sound of Samrat’s motocycle revving and then roaring down the drive and into the distance.
Gunjan looked at Suhani, decision on her face. “Suhani, mere saath aao,” she said.
Samrat’s house was in darkness, but there was a single dull glow coming from what Gunjan knew was his room. The door was open, the bike parked carelessly just outside, the engine still warm. Samrat had obviously just reached.
Gunjan made to go in, but Suhani held her back.
“Gunjan, Bhai bahut gusse mein hai. Maine kaha tha na, ki he hates me. Voh mujhe kabhi maaf nahin karenge.”
Gunjan looked back at Suhani gently.
“Suhani, ab to Samrat ko pata chal gaya hai ki tum kaun ho. Aur kitne din usse chhupogi? Aur kitne din hum jhooth bolte? Kabhi na kabhi to sach ko bahar aana hi tha … achcha hua jaldi aa gaya. Jitni der lagti, sach bolna utna hi mushkil hota rehta.”
“Lekin …” Suhani said, still very nervous, but Gunjan was determined.
“Chalo, Suhani,” she said and Suhani had no choice but to follow.
As they entered, they heard the sound of thudding from Samrat’s room, and then the sound of a crash of breaking glass. Suhani held back, but Gunjan went forward, pulling her by the hand. The door to Samrat’s room was open, and the girls looked round it carefully. The room was a mess, Samrat’s jacket was flung carelessly across his bed, a basketball lay abandoned on the floor, and there were shards of broken glass everywhere from the the mirror which had just been broken by the basketball trophy that had apparently been flung at it in blind rage. The trophy lay on its side amid the slivers of glass and Suhani gave a half sob on seeing it and started into the room to pick it up.
Samrat glared at her. Then he looked behind her and saw Gunjan. She looked back at him, her face tense and nervous, but determined and he looked away, his face closing. She came forward.
“Samrat, please … Suhani ki baat to suno …”
“Mujhe koi baat nahin sunni,” he interrupted curtly and turned his back to her.
Gunjan spoke in a softer voice from behind him.
“Meri bhi nahin, Samrat?”
He turned back at that, the anger again on his face.
“Tumhari bhi nahin, Chashmish. Tumne mujhse jhooth bola. Tumne mujhe sikhaya ki sachai kya hoti hai … aur tumne mujhse jhooth bola. Pehli baar … aur voh bhi … Suhani ke liye …”
“Pehli baar nahin, Samrat,” she said and his head whipped up to look at her. she swallowed at the anger on his face and went on doggedly. “Pehli baat to tumse jhooth nahin bola, Samrat … yeh doosri baar hai. Lekin pehli baar bhi vajah vahi thi … aur iss baar bhi vajah vahi thi … Farak sirf itna hai ki pehli baar meri jhooth bolne ki vajah tum khud samajh gaye the.”
He looked at her, puzzled, and she went on, drawing courage from the fact that his puzzlement was replacing his anger.
“Tumhe yaad nahin, Samrat? Jab maine tumhe kaha ki hamari friendship Sheena se zyada zaroori nahin hai. Tab bhi to maine jhooth bola tha, Samrat. Lekin tum Morena mein samajh gaye the ki maine voh jhooth kyun bola.”
She came closer to him, tears now starting in her eyes.
“Maine voh jhooth kyun bola tha, Samrat? Batao? Tumhi ne to mujhe Morena mein yeh sawaal kiya tha … lekin tab tum is sawaal ka jawab jaante the.”
He turned away, as though he didn’t want to answer her. But Gunjan was determined. She walked around him so that she was facing him again.
“Kyun, Samrat?”
He was silent still, his shoulders tense. But Gunjan wasn’t done.
“Kyun, Samrat? Bolo? Maine jhooth kyun bola tha?”
“Kyunki tum mujhse pyaar karti thi!” he shouted, finally goaded out of his silence by her words. “Lekin tum tab bhi galat thi, Chashmish, aur ab bhi galat ho! Main Sheena ke saath zyada khush nahin tha, voh hamari dosti se zyada zaroori nahin thi … aur yeh tum jaanti ho! Aur aaj … aaj tumne Suhani ke liye mujhse jhooth bola? Kya Suhani mujhse zyada important ho gayi? Kya uski khushi tumhare liye meri khushi se zyada important ho gayi? Ki tumne mujhse Suhani ke kehne par jhooth bola? Ek baar mujhse nahin poocha …”
“To main kya karti, Samrat?” Gunjan broke in, tears running down her cheeks now. “Tum hi bolo, main kya karti? Tumhe aakar bata deti ki yeh Nupur nahin, tumhari behen Suhani hai? Yeh jaante hue ki tum Suhani ko ek minute mein apni zindagi se bahar nikal dete … aur phir se akele ho jaate? Yeh jaante hue ki tum apne family ko itna miss karte ho … main ek bhi koshish nahin karti …?”
“Main unko nahin miss karta,” Samrat said uncertainly, looking away from her and she looked straight back at him.
“Nahin miss karte? Samrat, ab tum jhooth bol rahe ho … aur tum bhi yeh jaante ho.”
“Nahin miss karta, Chashmish,” he repeated and this time more firmly. “Un logon ko main kyun miss karun jinko meri koi parvah nahin hai? Dad – jo paise to jee khol kar bhej dete hain, lekin school ki chhutiyon mein mujhe boarding mein he rehne ko kehte hain, kyunki unke paas mere liye vakt nahin hai. Mom – jinhe apni life … aur apni beti se fursat nahin hai, yeh dekhne ke liye ki unka beta theek hai ya nahin … jab ki voh Dad ko jaanti hain. Aur meri behen …” he turned and looked at Suhani, and the anger, the hatred was back in his eyes, “… meri choti behen … jise maine nau saal tak protect kiya, taaki use mom dad ke jhagdon ki aawaz na sunayi de, unke fights aur arguments use raat mein nightmares na de, jaise mujhe dete the, use akele rehne ka darr na lage, jaise mujhe lagta tha … voh behen khushi khushi mom ke saath chali gayi, ek baar bhi mujhe mud ke nahin dekha? Ek chitthi tak nahin likhi? Ek baar bhi mom ko nahin kaha ki Bhai ko chhutiyon mein hamare paas bula lo?”
“Bhai!” broke in Suhani, “Bhai, maine chitthi likhi! Rakhi bheji! Tumhara koi jawab nahin aaya, phir bhi main har saal bhejti thi …”
“Phir se jhooth, Suhani,” he said and turned away from her.
“Tumhe kaise pata ki Suhani jhooth bol rahi hai, Samrat?” Gunjan asked quietly and the calm of her voice reached him like Suhani’s tears had failed to do.
“Kyun ki mujhe ek bhi chitthi nahin mili,” he replied. “Ek bhi chitthi nahin, Chashmish, na ek phone call … aur jitni bhi chitthiyan maine likhi, unka ek bhi jawab nahin. Aur tum kehti ho ki voh jhooth nahin bol …”
“Bhai, tumne chitthi kab likhi?” asked Suhani and he broke off to stare at her.
“Ab tum kahogi ki main jhooth bol raha hun,” he said angrily. “Divorce ke dus din baad tumhara birthday tha. Maine chithhi likhi, card bheja aur card mein likha ki main tumhe phone karunga. Jab phone kiya to mujhe bataya gaya ki tum mujhse baat nahin kar sakti. Har baar jab maine tumhe phone kiya, yehi jawab mila … aur phir mujhe boarding school bhej diya gaya. Vahan se chitthiyan likhi, uska bhi koi jawab nahin aaya.”
“Divorce ke baad main itni upset thi,” said Suhani slowly, “ki main do hafte bed mein rahi. Doctor bhi kuch samajh nahin sake. Sirf roti rehti aur tumhe bulati rehti. Kisi ne mujhe nahin bataya ki tumne phone kiya tha. Ya tumhara card aaya tha. Aur jab mom se zid karke maine tumhe phone kiya, to pata laga ki dad ne tumhe India mein boarding school bhej diya hai. Unhone mom ko school ka naam pata batane se mana kar diya, is liye tumhe chitthi ghar ke address par hi bhejti thi, yeh soch kar ki voh tumhe bhej denge …”
She stared at Samrat. Her eyes were pleading with him to believe her and he stared back at her.
Gunjan left the room quietly. Brother and sister needed to talk things out between themselves.
Three questions
22 december
One - Is Adhiraj schizophrenic?
two - when did MJHT turn into a saas bahu family melodrama aka ekta and balaji?
three - are Sajan even part of this show any more?
Ah yes, a fourth - why am I bothering to sit through an excruciating half an hour waiting for even a glimpse of the couple I love and watch the show for?
One - Is Adhiraj schizophrenic?
two - when did MJHT turn into a saas bahu family melodrama aka ekta and balaji?
three - are Sajan even part of this show any more?
Ah yes, a fourth - why am I bothering to sit through an excruciating half an hour waiting for even a glimpse of the couple I love and watch the show for?
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