27th Sept
High voltage Arshi ... at their best.
And Shashi babu, watch out for the Ssssnake ... Slimeball Shyam can be dangerous.
Starts with La trying to wheedle a smile out of ASR, or at least find out why he's been so angry with her the whole day. How can he tell you, La, he doesn't know himself - why Khushi's absence has made him so restless and bad-tempered! Why that apology is the only thing on his mind ... I really wonder if he got any work done at all today, between his practice sessions and those abortive phone calls!
And then La says Khushi has come, and his whole demeanour changes completely - from trying to get rid of La, to complete attention to what she's saying ... Khushi? Khushi has come?
And of course he has to go to see for himself ...
Khushi waiting for La ... as she sees Arnav, her face softens, as though she was waiting for him, as though she is glad to see him, was wanting to see him ... and his softens too ... but he looks away, and she remembers his harsh words about parents, and her face hardens, she looks away as well ... but now he has to try, so he comes down (literally, figuratively he's not quite there yet) ...
Awkward silence ... he can't find the words ... she doesn't want to ...
And La drags her away ... stolen looks again, but out of synch this time ...
Of course he has to follow her to the party ... why has that apology become so important and urgent?!
Because she's always on his mind ... as he is on hers, much to her own annoyance! And even more to her annoyance, why does he land up just when she's thinking about him?
So when he tries to talk to her, she tells him to go away, go to La ... short fuse again ... hers blows, so does his ...How dare you, yes, I dare, you haven't bought daring ... fortunately she has the sense to stop before she reaches his family this time ...
His next words made me laugh ... what do you think, Khushi Kumari Gupta, that I've come here to talk to you? Dude, isn't that exactly why you've come here?! And uh oh, back to jagah again ... thankfully, not aukat this time. And Khushi sweetheart, I love you a lot, but seriously, if you shout at him, you have to expect he will shout back, stop crying when he shouts back ... It's unfair! Although as usual, her tears affect him enough to recall him to his main purpose - I've come here to say sorry, to say sorry ... hey bhagwan, Arnav, one would think saying sorry was more difficult than climbing Mount Everest ...
But as usual, she's gone again ...
{Shashi babu doing detectivegiri - sees the wedding ring mark on Shyam's finger, tries calling Rani Sahiba but backfires, and Shyam leaves hastily with his phone. Back to RM, where Shyam realises something is blackwa in the daal.}
Gazebo ... Khushi stands alone, still upset. Arnav goes slowly towards her, she senses him before she sees him, gives him one look and turns to leave. He calls her name, she keeps going, and he grabs hold of her - more gently than usual. But his fuse has blown again ... probably because he just doesn't know how to say what he has to. And so he shouts ... don't walk away when I'm talking to you, since morning you've driven me crazy ...
She's flummoxed ... You're the crazy one, I haven't even seen you the whole day ... but if you want to talk, go ahead ... say what you have to!
And oh boy ... is that an apology? Or an apology for an apology?! A furious release for his own frustration, his own guilt ... but definitely no recognition of what he put her through ... he's sorry because she's an orphan like him, he's sorry because he saw his own pain reflected in her, but her pain?! He hasn't even scratched the surface yet!
And that's what she tells him ... so all this while, you were wanting to say sorry? For what? Why would you, Mr ASR say sorry to me, Khushi Kumari Gupta? How can you? You don't even know anything about me ... wait, I'll tell you ... I was eight when my parents died. I didn't know what death was. For a long time, I waited for them to come back. What more? Even today I believe they've now become stars, and so I sleep with stars hanging over my bed. Even today I'm scared of fast cars, of the dark, of sleeping alone. Even today I hope this is all a bad dream, and one day I'll wake up and they'll be back.
And he closes his eyes ... does he have the same hope inside him? the same dreams, the same fears? And for the first time, he begins to see her ... the real her, behind that ever-talkative, ever-chirpy face.
But she's not done yet.
So now you know everything about me. Now say sorry?
But he can't. The word, so difficult to say a little while ago, because it was such a big thing for him to say, now seems so small in front of her pain.
But how can you say sorry to me? Because I'm not of that haisiyat, am I?
His own words, his own taunts, thrown back at him from a person as broken as him on the inside. She turns to leave. He says her name once. She stops. Looks back, he still can't say it. He looks away, she knows he won't say it.
Without looking at her, still struggling with the word. It finally emerges.
Sorry.
She looks back at him in disbelief. He turns to look at her, and when he's looking at her, the second time is easier. It comes from within, from the heart.
Sorry.
And she sees this time it's real.
I'm really sorry.
And she can't take it any more ... seeing her pain in his eyes ... she turns and runs from there ... leaving him looking after her ... feeling another's pain for the first time in years, her pain piercing through that shell he's made around himself, her pain cracking through the ice surrounding his heart.
Sibling love ... but they both are still struggling to get the facades back into place ... Khushi asks for time out to compose herself, for a cup of tea, Arnav just doesn't want to talk.
And when Khushi does talk, it's all about Laad Governer and how difficult it was for him to say sorry. Far easier to keep that in her mind than talk about why it was so difficult for her to hear it from him, why she told him everything about herself, why it was so important for her that he understand her, and why his genuine hurt for her moved her so much that she had to run away.
And Arnav is still stuck on how easy other people find it to say sorry, and why he found it so difficult! And why that 'sorry' has become the focus of his life!
Side note - Anjali bitiya, release your chotey from your pallu and worry about your own husband! Arnav is in good hands, can't say the same about you!
Links -
Arnav's first apology
High voltage Arshi ... at their best.
And Shashi babu, watch out for the Ssssnake ... Slimeball Shyam can be dangerous.
Starts with La trying to wheedle a smile out of ASR, or at least find out why he's been so angry with her the whole day. How can he tell you, La, he doesn't know himself - why Khushi's absence has made him so restless and bad-tempered! Why that apology is the only thing on his mind ... I really wonder if he got any work done at all today, between his practice sessions and those abortive phone calls!
And then La says Khushi has come, and his whole demeanour changes completely - from trying to get rid of La, to complete attention to what she's saying ... Khushi? Khushi has come?
And of course he has to go to see for himself ...
Khushi waiting for La ... as she sees Arnav, her face softens, as though she was waiting for him, as though she is glad to see him, was wanting to see him ... and his softens too ... but he looks away, and she remembers his harsh words about parents, and her face hardens, she looks away as well ... but now he has to try, so he comes down (literally, figuratively he's not quite there yet) ...
Awkward silence ... he can't find the words ... she doesn't want to ...
And La drags her away ... stolen looks again, but out of synch this time ...
Of course he has to follow her to the party ... why has that apology become so important and urgent?!
Because she's always on his mind ... as he is on hers, much to her own annoyance! And even more to her annoyance, why does he land up just when she's thinking about him?
So when he tries to talk to her, she tells him to go away, go to La ... short fuse again ... hers blows, so does his ...How dare you, yes, I dare, you haven't bought daring ... fortunately she has the sense to stop before she reaches his family this time ...
His next words made me laugh ... what do you think, Khushi Kumari Gupta, that I've come here to talk to you? Dude, isn't that exactly why you've come here?! And uh oh, back to jagah again ... thankfully, not aukat this time. And Khushi sweetheart, I love you a lot, but seriously, if you shout at him, you have to expect he will shout back, stop crying when he shouts back ... It's unfair! Although as usual, her tears affect him enough to recall him to his main purpose - I've come here to say sorry, to say sorry ... hey bhagwan, Arnav, one would think saying sorry was more difficult than climbing Mount Everest ...
But as usual, she's gone again ...
{Shashi babu doing detectivegiri - sees the wedding ring mark on Shyam's finger, tries calling Rani Sahiba but backfires, and Shyam leaves hastily with his phone. Back to RM, where Shyam realises something is blackwa in the daal.}
Gazebo ... Khushi stands alone, still upset. Arnav goes slowly towards her, she senses him before she sees him, gives him one look and turns to leave. He calls her name, she keeps going, and he grabs hold of her - more gently than usual. But his fuse has blown again ... probably because he just doesn't know how to say what he has to. And so he shouts ... don't walk away when I'm talking to you, since morning you've driven me crazy ...
She's flummoxed ... You're the crazy one, I haven't even seen you the whole day ... but if you want to talk, go ahead ... say what you have to!
And oh boy ... is that an apology? Or an apology for an apology?! A furious release for his own frustration, his own guilt ... but definitely no recognition of what he put her through ... he's sorry because she's an orphan like him, he's sorry because he saw his own pain reflected in her, but her pain?! He hasn't even scratched the surface yet!
And that's what she tells him ... so all this while, you were wanting to say sorry? For what? Why would you, Mr ASR say sorry to me, Khushi Kumari Gupta? How can you? You don't even know anything about me ... wait, I'll tell you ... I was eight when my parents died. I didn't know what death was. For a long time, I waited for them to come back. What more? Even today I believe they've now become stars, and so I sleep with stars hanging over my bed. Even today I'm scared of fast cars, of the dark, of sleeping alone. Even today I hope this is all a bad dream, and one day I'll wake up and they'll be back.
And he closes his eyes ... does he have the same hope inside him? the same dreams, the same fears? And for the first time, he begins to see her ... the real her, behind that ever-talkative, ever-chirpy face.
But she's not done yet.
So now you know everything about me. Now say sorry?
But he can't. The word, so difficult to say a little while ago, because it was such a big thing for him to say, now seems so small in front of her pain.
But how can you say sorry to me? Because I'm not of that haisiyat, am I?
His own words, his own taunts, thrown back at him from a person as broken as him on the inside. She turns to leave. He says her name once. She stops. Looks back, he still can't say it. He looks away, she knows he won't say it.
Without looking at her, still struggling with the word. It finally emerges.
Sorry.
She looks back at him in disbelief. He turns to look at her, and when he's looking at her, the second time is easier. It comes from within, from the heart.
Sorry.
And she sees this time it's real.
I'm really sorry.
And she can't take it any more ... seeing her pain in his eyes ... she turns and runs from there ... leaving him looking after her ... feeling another's pain for the first time in years, her pain piercing through that shell he's made around himself, her pain cracking through the ice surrounding his heart.
Sibling love ... but they both are still struggling to get the facades back into place ... Khushi asks for time out to compose herself, for a cup of tea, Arnav just doesn't want to talk.
And when Khushi does talk, it's all about Laad Governer and how difficult it was for him to say sorry. Far easier to keep that in her mind than talk about why it was so difficult for her to hear it from him, why she told him everything about herself, why it was so important for her that he understand her, and why his genuine hurt for her moved her so much that she had to run away.
And Arnav is still stuck on how easy other people find it to say sorry, and why he found it so difficult! And why that 'sorry' has become the focus of his life!
Side note - Anjali bitiya, release your chotey from your pallu and worry about your own husband! Arnav is in good hands, can't say the same about you!
Links -
Arnav's first apology
beautiful post Dia! loved every bit of it :))
ReplyDeleteread it in office but cudnt even hit the 'interesting' button; came home n realised u had posted it on IF also so i commented there only :)
ps: u shud add another tab to the reaction - 'DITTO'! :D
Hehe ... thanks, Shilpi! It was really a beautiful episode, couldn't resist posting on IF this time ... though there was a slew of topics on the episode already! Really well done ... the apology scene was just perfect!
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